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5 Year Old SD Acting Out All of the Sudden...

sunshinex's picture

So if you've seen my posts before, you've probably seen me rave about how well behaved my stepdaughter is. She's with us full-time, aside from seeing her mom for part of the summer and occasional holidays. She's always been pretty well-behaved. If you told her to pick up after herself or do something in particular, she'd happily do it. If you reminded her to say please and thank you, she would. She'd often do things on her own with no reminders. But lately she's been acting out like crazy... she'll flat out say "no" if you ask her to do something!

I'm 18 weeks pregnant, so that MAY have something to do with it, but up until the past couple of weeks, she's seemed really happy about it. We let her know as soon as we found out and she was so excited. She's been happy to shop with us for the baby, she loves looking at the ultrasound pictures, she's just been overall very excited to be a big sister. So I'm not sure if it could be related. She hasn't spoke much about the baby since she started acting out a couple of weeks ago... so i think it might be.

She's spent every night for the past 3 nights in her room because she refuses to clean it up and it's a disaster. She knows how to clean it... she's been taught thoroughly and she's always been good about it. She even used to make her own bed and bring her laundry down without reminder at the end of cleaning her toys up! But now she just yells "NO" or "I'm not going to clean it!" over and over again!

I tried to reason with her... I laid down with her in her room and asked her if anything was bothering her, but she just kind of cuddled up to me and said nothing is wrong. I've heard 5-6 is an age where they usually start acting out because they're starting to come into their own sense of self and all, so i don't want to chalk it up to my pregnancy... but what can I do here? Does it sound like it's related?

I'm going to take away all her toys tonight, but I want to work with her, not just punish her, especially if she's feeling left out or something. She's driving me nuts but I still love the kid, lol, so what's the best way to handle this type of behaviour? I'm kind of new to parenting I guess... I came into her life around 2 years old and she's always been easy to deal with!

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

I have a DD5 and she is the same way. It sounds like it is a stage. My DS was around the same age as your SD when I had DD and he acted out for quite a while. So I think this is normal. You'll need to set boundaries but also let her know that she's not being pushed out.

Acratopotes's picture

it's a stage lol.......

punishment is not going to work, they are little devils, if you punish her she will rebel even more and scream and shout - You don't love me blablablablabla I hate you..... been there got the t-shirt.

I simply asked Deigma that age, please pick up the toys... NO I will not.... I ignored him, hour later... Mummy I'm hungry when are you making dinner... NO I will not make dinner... back to ignore..... he would tell me that I'm the parent and he needs to eat blablabla, I would simply say... yes I'm the parent and if you want to eat you need to listen to me and respect me, then I will make dinner.... I would also ask him if I should help him... he would run to his room with me behind him and we both cleaned up...... Dinner would be his favorite...self building pizza's with bread slices used..

point is, talking to them and using stories to make them understand helps better then punishment.... never say you and me.. I always used the... what would you do if you are at Johnny's house and he scream at his mother.... use the same situation with other names... 99% he would say I will tell Johnny he's not suppose to scream at his mother it's naughty... then the light goes on lol......