OT - Anyone have experience battling addiction?
For those who know me and my story, my husband has had undiagnosed ADD his whole life. It's really impacted his adult life in terms of making it hard for him to complete tasks, stay focused, achieve goals, etc. It's the reason behind him procrastinating on a whole host of important things. This week, he took a HUGE step and got diagnosed/medicated. And holy crap... The difference is incredible a few days in.
He cleans without being asked, he takes our son outside to play during the day, he gets things done around the house, he's scheduling appointments, it's incredible. I have never seen him able to focus so it's really huge for us and our family. But where things get tricky... I am a recovered drug addict. I have been clean from stimulants (and all drugs) since I was 18 (7 years ago) and have struggled now and then, but never relapsed once finally getting clean.
Since he's had his medication in the house, I have been uneasy and stressed. Stimulants like amphetamines were one of my favorites. They were something I really struggled to get rid of. I have had thoughts here and there since he's gotten his medication of "you can take one and never take another again - just to remember what it was like."
I am scared. I know this isn't the right place to be posting this but it's the most anonymous place I have. My husband is understanding although I haven't quite told him how much I'm struggling because I want him to enjoy this time of having a clear head for the first time in his life. He's offered to get a lock-box and keep them in there. We are going to do that... But how can I feel less uneasy about this? I truly do believe I'm strong enough to be smart... I have a 21 month old son who is my entire world and he's my "why." But it's a struggle.
Sorry for the long and irrelevant post. Just a bit rough here lately.