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Should DH tell BM about mediation?

abugandabean's picture

DH filed for a modification to custody and they have a date with a mediator this upcoming week. We don't think she got the paperwork (which isn't our issue)but she's very high conflict and if she would have received it she would have filed for an increase in child support (she's done this before anytime there is an issue) and she would have made our lives hell but nothing has happened.

Today BM asks DH when they are doing the next few months of the custody schedule, so I really don't think she got the paperwork.

He doesn't want to tell her and just go there and have her not show up. What happens? Will he just get what he wants regarding custody and the other stipulations (such as using OFW) he is going for since she didn't show up? Will they reschedule and drag this out another few months?

I think he should just tell her so we can get this over and done with but he stands firm on it's not his problem she didn't get the paperwork and as much as we both hate this woman I don't mind seeing her suffer but by her not showing up we all suffer as right now custody of SD is not worked out in advanced at all and it's a pain in the ass for everyone involved.

jumanji's picture

Actually - it IS his problem if she wasn't served. Even if he ignores that and manages to wrangle a default judgment? It will be overturned once lack of service comes to light.

abugandabean's picture

In her county you don't have to serve her you have to go to the post office and have the post master stamp off that the letter was sent. In our county it's not that way you have to send a certified and it has to be returned. We did have her served before because she was ignoring certified letters however its 100 dollars to have her served so we went the free route on this.

He did his part to notify her how the court told him to notify her and he has his proof from the post master.