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BM JUST DROPS OFF SKID WHEN NO ONE IS HOME AT OUR HOUSE!

windee's picture

Submitted by windee on Mon, 12/30/2013 - 12:46pm

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Let me know if I am being too sensitive about this or if I am right. I believe I am right on this. My DH is not in town right now, just me. There is no school and SKID is staying with BM. SKID sent me a text message that he was at our house! That's a first! Usually BM drops SKID off and I don't even know until I show up and SKID is there. It really pisses me off for many reasons but mainly these two. #1 ask me. #2 I have to hide everything and lock our bedroom door when I KNOW SKID will be there so that he doesn't go through our stuff and take things! I've said something to SKID AND DH about this but nothing changes!!! I am fixing to out a lock on our computer room/ Bio sons room b/c SKID just goes in therein OUR computer( he has a desk too in his room and now has a mini-laptop) AND he noses around in MY SONS SHIT!!! I am so tired of this! I have been disengaging and it just gets too much at times!!! Thanks for letting me vent and for your opinions!!!!

sbm014's picture

Submitted by sbm014 on Mon, 12/30/2013 - 12:49pm

So change the locks? You can tell DH that you feel uncomfortable with Skid just showing up with a key when you are not home, and it makes you feel uncomfortable not knowing if she also entered the home. Put a lock on the computer.

Your comfortably and respect is needed in your home. If Skid wants to come over he can show up when others are home.

windee's picture

Submitted by windee on Mon, 12/30/2013 - 1:05pm

I've done all that and DH just gives SKID the passwords and keys. I've unplugged the back if our computer and SKID hasn't figured it out just yet. We will see tonight.

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Mon, 12/30/2013 - 12:52pm

Sounds great but let me guess. . . you have a guilty daddy that would give SS a copy of the key to the NEW locks. . . Am I RIGHT? And this would be DESPITE your talk about being uncomfortable.

windee's picture

Submitted by windee on Mon, 12/30/2013 - 1:07pm

I've even said something to BM but everyone just thinks that I am being mean, hateful and rude. I bought a lock for the computer room before but it wouldn't fit right so i will be buying a new one next payday

SituationalTourettes's picture

Submitted by SituationalTourettes on Mon, 12/30/2013 - 1:10pm

Sounds like DH perhaps shouldn't have the passwords or copies of the keys then if he can't be trusted himself to support your concern....

windee's picture

Submitted by windee on Mon, 12/30/2013 - 1:22pm

Yes. DH doesn't think that SKID does all that is accused of SKID. Not just me but teachers and others every year. People are just picking on SKID from past mistakes when SKID was young. :jawdrop: Skid keeps on doing things, taking things, manipulating people and lying!! Guess where SKID learned that!!!

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Mon, 12/30/2013 - 1:18pm

If your DH is out of town, there is no reason for his son to be at your house.

windee's picture

Submitted by windee on Mon, 12/30/2013 - 1:24pm

That's how I feel. I know it is his house too, but there is no reason for him to be at our house right now.

windee's picture

Submitted by windee on Mon, 12/30/2013 - 7:17pm

*sigh* great!!

windee's picture

Submitted by windee on Mon, 12/30/2013 - 1:25pm

Thank you so much for all of you opinions, ideas and help!!! I really do appreciate it!!

windee's picture

Submitted by windee on Mon, 12/30/2013 - 7:19pm

Ya. I wouldn't even mind him being there if they just asked. I could then prepare te house for him to be there. Lock up everything and hide all of the expensive meats and snacks because he seems to think that all of that is just for him!

Elizabeth's picture

Submitted by Elizabeth on Mon, 12/30/2013 - 2:05pm

I had this some problem with DH so I don't have a solution for you. He kept giving SD keys and she kept losing them, so he gave her the code to the garage door. She would come over whenever she felt like it, BM or BM's mom in tow. This was during the time she was moving in with BM, she was just clearing our house out of all "her" stuff and some that was not hers. Some of my jewelry disappeared, and I couldn't "prove" SD took it, so... When she moved to BM's, DH asked for SD's key back but she had like six of seven of them by then so she just had to give him one. I MADE HIM (he resisted me pretty actively) change the code for the garage door.

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Mon, 12/30/2013 - 2:28pm

Ye Olde "I don't want my kid to feel like he/she can't come over when it's not their time" :barf:

windee's picture

Submitted by windee on Mon, 12/30/2013 - 7:23pm

It really is sad and tiring that we have to go through all if this! Until I get that lock and put it in the computer room, I am taking pictures of everything in case. So tiring!!!

windee's picture

Submitted by windee on Mon, 12/30/2013 - 8:35pm

Well SKID left our house a total mess and had a friend that SKID is not suppose to hang around with in our house. DH WAS MAD and called BM and SKID and said SKID knows the rules, no one is allowed in the house unless DH or I are present! BM and SKID didn't say much to DH. Guess they will just ignore him again. Another reminder why I want locks on everything!! I wish I could change the locks on the front door but SKID comes to our house after school and waits for BM. Can't do that. I just cannot stand the fact that SKID and BM just do whatever they feel like!

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Mon, 12/30/2013 - 8:36pm

I am so glad we did not live in the same vicinity as BM. There was no coming to our house after school.

That sucks.

Cocoa's picture

Submitted by Cocoa on Tue, 12/31/2013 - 4:33am

when daddy re-married, it became YOUR house, too. and proper boundaries need to be set. no, the skids cannot come and go as they please because this is not mommie and daddies home. daddy's wife is NOT your mommie and is under no obligation to treat you as if she were. she is entitled to privacy, even if nobody else thinks so. the only one that needs to think so is her! you are going to have to have a very difficult talk with your dh. and if this is the first, prepare yourself because you are going to have to have MANY difficult talks in the years ahead or you will continue being disrespected and walked over. personally, if skids ever stole from me, that would be the last time they'd be in my house. if daddy doesn't like it, he can walk. you sound nicer, but you're going to have to toughen up. who gives a flying flip if people think you're "mean'? if they think you're mean, they'll respect you, and that's basically what you are asking for, isn't it? some people just do not automatically give respect (a lot do!). you have to be strong enough to nudge those who don't into line. so, the question is, how strong are you?