This might be an odd question, but.....
Forums:
How many of you who are have children with exes, actually WANT a girlfriend/boyfriend or new spouse in their lives?
My reason is; I have an xh who I really wish would get a steady gf and marry her. Good or bad, I figure they would have SOMEONE else in that craziness. XH has had dozens of gf's since our divorce. Some less than ideal, but generally, when he has one he is spending so much time trying to present to her that he is perfect, he treats my boys a little better. That is especially nice to know given my oldest wont come see me (having custody means nothing).
I couldn't wait for my first
I couldn't wait for my first ex (daughter's dad) to get involved with someone. Our divorce was initiated by me, he fought it and pined for me (he actually STILL carries my photo in his wallet, we've been divorced 10 yrs) and I felt horrible.
When he met Lynda, I was thrilled. She moved in (my daughter was LESS than thrilled but they get along halfway decent) and they've been together 4 yrs now. He still tells her he'll never marry again, he had his one true love (me - UGH, creepy I know) and won't ever feel marriage will work. She actually gave him an ultimatum last Christmas: an engagement ring or a puppy. Her Pug turns 1 next month...
She's 7 yrs older than him
She's 7 yrs older than him too. 47, he's 40. There's a reason I divorced him. I think she doesn't feel she can do any better so she stays.
I don't. Not one bit. She
I don't. Not one bit. She knows what he is, what he's like and he flat out tells her how it's gonna be according to him. Again, there's a reason *I* divorced him!
My ex hates me with a fire
My ex hates me with a fire hotter than 1000 suns, or as some say is still in love with me and pissed I moved on. Either way, I care more about how much stability my boys have in their lives. My x isn't so much and it is party central. At least when my youngest son comes home and says "dad has a new girlfriend" my only question is "is she nice to you?" Which is usually met with "yeah, and Dad is being nicer". Okay, all that matters to me. But as soon as they break up I get to hear through my youngest son how the x is saying what a whore I am and that I buy his love and my DH isn't his dad so he doesn't have to listen, blah blah blah. My life is more peaceful when he is getting some regularly. Which is pretty much how I survived the marriage as long as I did. But the fact MY CHILDREN have to hear it I want to scream.
Be careful what you wish for.
Be careful what you wish for. My ex got married, good for him, but our relationship was better, he saw the kids more often and was easier to deal with BEFORE his remarriage, not after. His new wife, my kids' SM, who i now have a more or less decent relationship with, has no idea how to cooperate, feels very threatened by me ( i do not want him! I have remarried also!) and tries to run things in a very dumb way. Not participating in what is worth participating in, sticking her nose into things that are not.
So it is a double-edged sword, i would say. Some things get better, some get worse. Scheduling is a nightmare for me because she wants to keep her options open. Given that they have the boys twice a month, 10 am on Sat thru 6 pm on Sunday, it drives me crazy.
^^this is part of what I hope
^^this is part of what I hope for. Not necessarily a best friend, but someone I could communicate with at least a little. Xh and I have a no contact order based on his verbal abuse (&written ) abuse. I just don't see it ever happening.