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The sins of the father...

ownedbypedro's picture

Just getting this out of my system because I feel safe doing so here:

Backstory: when my children were 6 and 4 and my ss was 18, my children came to me one day in tears (shortly before Christmas), saying that skid had told them that Santa Claus isn't real.

Of course I told them that skid had LIED to them because he was mad because they had a good mom and he didn't (immature of me but I was so ANGRY). I think they believed me but it was never really the same for them after that.

When dh came home and I told him what skid had done, all he did was say something to skid like "that wasn't nice" - no punshment, no nothing.

NOW THEN...I will NOT do this because I know in my heart it is WRONG...

but I have always been soooooooo tempted to go to skid's three sons and tell them HEY GUYS, DID YOU KNOW THERE IS NO SANTA CLAUS? JUST ASK YOUR DADDY! Skid's kids are 7, 8, and 13 (the 13 year old has a mentality of about an 8 year old - multiple problems - when you cross an idiot with an idiot you produce and idiot - so he still believes in Santa Claus).

I have told (soon to be ex!) dh many times that I SO want to do that and he says "go ahead" because he KNOWS I WON'T. But ohhhhhhhhhh, holy cow, how badly I want to.

I think (I won't profess to "know" because I am not religious) that someplace in the Bible it says that "the sins of the father shall be revisited upon the sons a thousand times" - or something like that. DH is one of those "holy roller, Bible thumping, know-it-alls" - so I could just telling him that I was doing as God instructed me to do (that's HIS excuse for being an asshole).

Okay - feel better.

Stepcop's picture

^^^^ dtzy, I'm impressed. Not sure how you came up with that one, but I LOVE that idea. Kids get to hold on to Santa, poor old dickhead dad can clean up the reindeer poop!!

bi's picture

my aunt had my uncle (her brother) dress up in a santa costume and come over late Christmas Eve and put gifts under the tree. she woke my cousin up and they watched from the stairs. she told him he had to be quiet and not let santa know he saw him. i think that was awesome! Biggrin

ownedbypedro's picture

OBVIOUSLY venting is about letting go. That is exactly what I'm doing. I have nobody/noplace else to safely speak about this stuff so I do it here. That is what most of us are doing here.

When you have a CLUE what my children and I went through at the hands of that beast then you can tell me how I should be dealing with it.

And - maybe you should fill out a profile if you're going to hang around here and make snap conclusions about other people.

ownedbypedro's picture

InactivistMama, exactly my point! He had NO business and he had NO right.

He was steamed at his father because his father had given him $50 to put down as a deposit on a whale watching trip his church group was going to take the following spring and he had SPENT. THE. MONEY and his father refused to replace it.

Plus, his father was threatening to refuse to pay his bus ticket to spend Christmas with his sea hag mother. However, I had informed dh that he WAS buying the bus ticket because I would be having a skid free Christmas.

So take it out on my children??? YOU BET I was steamed and if I'm still steamed - SUE ME!!

ownedbypedro's picture

newwife3, I completely see you point - HOWEVER, look at the last line of your reply. It was NOT my step brat's place or his business to tell my kids anything. THAT is the whole point.

He wanted to ruin something for them - because he could. He was always that way and still is.

Myself's picture

When I was 15 years old, I told my then ten-year old brother that God doesn't exist....ooops }:)

StickAFork's picture

She said she won't do it.
I'm just shocked that she's been holding onto this for so long. I mean, her skid HAS kids now. I don't understand hanging onto anger like that. Can't be healthy. Sad

bi's picture

it's hard to let go of something that ruined something special for your kids. i would still be pissed, too.

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

Can you mention something to your SS like "Do you remember telling my kids that Santa wasn't real? Can you imagine me doing the same to your children now?" Just to see his reaction?

I certainly would not want my kids to be punished for something I did when I was a stupid 18 year old, but you can let him know how effed up it was.

ownedbypedro's picture

SanAntonio, very good idea. Except I would have to see him to do that and I'm hoping to never see him again. As I have stated repeatedly, I would never actually do that to his children. That is what separates my step son from me and mine - we have some common decency.

Lalena75's picture

I had to tell my 9 year old son the Santa truth right after the announcement of his dad and I divorcing. It was hard for me because it felt like one tragedy on another, but I gave the "Yes Virgina there is a Santa" speech and he was so happy to find out that now that he knew he was in on the adults secret identity. We we're going to the grocery store and he asked for change to give to the bell ringers then said "wow I played santa for the very first time mom!"
Kids get told the facts all the time, venting about doing it as revenge is actually healthy keeping it in and potentially popping off at the mouth from holding shit in too long is the unhealthy part.

ownedbypedro's picture

Lalena, you raised a good boy, that is so sweet!!

Thank you for your comment about venting. I'm just "getting it out and letting it go" is all - I don't know why people get their drawers all in a bunch over it.

emotionaly beat up's picture

Well I get your temptation for payback. But it would seem his kids don't deserve it to me. HE on the other hand well why not scare the shit out of him and tell him you have never forgotten how he hurt your kids by telling them there's no Santa. Tell hi
You're just might let him know how it feels by letting his kids know this year that there is no Santa. DON'T do it though. Instead get the dog poo and glitter and let those reindeers go wild. Much better than hurting the kids.

ownedbypedro's picture

emotionaly beat up, no I would never do it. Not the kids' fault and they already have soooooooo many problems, not the least of which is who their parents are. It's so sad really, the situation that they live in.

Natalia Ely's picture

Seems like the SS committed a "status offense." Had he been a cousin or your own child, would you have been so upset? Probably not.

Stepmothers and stepfathers may come and go. Divorces happen even without stepchildren. I wonder if your own biological children will inspire the same feelings in your DH's third wife?

ownedbypedro's picture

I doubt it, my children are grown and have very productive lives of their own and have nothing to gain but making dh's FIFTH (NOT third - FIFTH) wife miserable. Besides if they ever did anything as CRUEL as that I would kick their butts and they know it.

ownedbypedro's picture

LOL bi! Yep, another one added to the collection. Just goes to show you there is ONE woman on the planet more stupid than I am, eh?

I mean - she is going to marry a man with FOUR ex-wives and FOUR adult children and FIVE grandchildren??? And she has known him for less than four months??? Yeah...I'm not the sharpest in the shed but at least I'm IN THE SHED. OMG...

Most Evil's picture

I love the idea of TELLING SS you will do it, and asking him if he remembers when he did that.

Torment the shyte out of him!!!!! make him squirm for a LONG time then say, I could NEVER do that to an innocent child.!

Although I have to say I figured it out maybe age 6-7 by searching the house for presents with my brother, that then came from Santa. Then I mentioned some of the things I found that were really neat, which I probably then got, can't remember, one I know was a record album.

Neither side ever denied Santa, it went on for years and years after that, unspoken as to who it was, but I knew then and said thank you Smile