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*EVERYTHING* is "my mommy's"

confusedsm03's picture

Everything is SS4's moms. It would irk me when he would say This is mommy's. You need to give it back to Mommy..when it was HER stuff but Friday he came wearing our outfit (that we haven't seen since last winter). He was taking everything off to take a bath and says "Confused don't forget this is all mommy's and she wants it back". The shirt he was wearing was one he made me with last Halloween! He told us this morning to make sure we dress him in what he wore here on Friday bc it's Mommys. I told DH I bought that entire outfit and it's not going back. Why is BM beating it into his head that everything is hers and he needs to bring it back...especially when it is ours? We aren't the ones who keep her nasty clothes. I wouldn't take SS out in public in her clothes! I told SS just bc mommy keeps the clothes that we buy for you doesn't make them for mommys house. Regardless, the kid claims nothing as his own. EVEN HIS JACKET is Mommy's jacket. I guess it's time to keep a closer eye on what leaves our house bc apparently as soon as it's gone, it's mommys.

shielded2009's picture

That's really, really sad...

When DH and I got married, and SD was coming to our house, she started doing this...DH always returned her in what she came in, but when I came into the picture, it became a HUGE issue...Even down to socks and underwear...She'd check SD's underwear and socks in the car and if they weren't the exact same ones, she'd call DH screaming...DH just ignored her...Socks and underwear?? Really? It's not like she's wearing Victoria's Secret $20 panties!

Then SD started with the same thing your SS is doing...DH instituted the "don't say crap about your mom" rule...Nothing...Don't give instructions that come from your mom...Nothing...Don't say anything...It was hard for her at first because of the pressure her mom sent, but after a few weeks, she stopped...We don't know if BM still sends her with messages, SD has been trained to leave it with her and don't bring it here...

HadEnoughx5's picture

Shielded, that is an awesome rule you have with your SD. Confused...It starting to sound like the beginning works of parental alienation. BM is not concerned that she is dragging a 4 yr. old through the mud. Our BM started that way and also got the kids into financial issues too. They spoke about things like the cost of college and money for sports, they were only 5,6 and 7.

StorybookGirl's picture

I hate to say it, but you may have to resort to the same measure my boyfriend and I almost had to do. Write on the labels of clothing with a sharpie marker. Our plan was to put a "DH" for Dad's House on all of the child's clothes since his mother tried to claim everything was hers. Then she went and got homeless again and vanished for a while so when she finally showed up again, she had nothing for him and it became a non-issue. It is still a back burner idea for down the line should she start it again and try and teach it to the kid to say, as well.

confusedsm03's picture

We have previously labeled clothes with our last name. We stopped with the first name or DH, etc bc we hope to use the clothes again for our DS and I would rather them not be labeled with misc things that don't reflect him. That didn't help bc she just never sent those clothes back! lol What does she care if our last name is on the label, its her sons last name. I mean no matter how u look at it, she doesn't care what the clothes say as long as she doesn't have to buy them. I have a drawer here now of her clothes that we send SS back and forth in. Its just annoying for him to think that EVERYTHING is hers and nothing is ours. Funny thing is she doesn't seem like one who would beat it into his head that they are HER clothes. BM and I are very social and kind when we see each other, we can text ab SS, etc. I mean I'm sure she doesn't like me much more than I like her but there doesn't seem to be hatred between the houses so I'm not sure what she is trying to accomplish here.

confusedsm03's picture

I guess BM picks and choices what she likes and sends back stuff she doesn't. She keeps complaining about money (even though she gets $1,400.00 a month total from 2 different men for 2 kids) so I bought SS a hat, gloves and a scarf. I guess it didn't mean her standards bc she literally just gave it back. I swear I'm done trying to understand this crazy ppl.