Child support continually screwing me
We pay about $8,000 a year in support to BM. I receive about $4,000 a year for my DD. When applying for health insurance for OUR DS, we have to include that $8,000 in DH's income and we have to count the $4,000 a year we are receiving for my DD towards income for our DS! My child support shouldn't have anything to do with DS bc it's specifically for DD. Now, BM receivers $1,400.00 a month in child support on top of her income and the income of her live in boyfriend. She receives FREE health insurance for SS. There is NO WAY she is counting ALL of her income. It's basically fraud. YET we have to pay a higher amount when really DH doesn't see that 8 grand and the 4 grand for DD SHOULD NOT be counted for my son. UGGGHH just another way BM gets everything and we get shit on.
One of the reasons why I
One of the reasons why I don't get married. The fact is that without my income, GG would be literally in the streets unless he can bum a place off of someone else or find several roomates. He pays $1000 a month and makes 38K a year TOPS! And then there is the highest taxes in the nation (NYS), so he brings home $200 a week. How do these CSEU people and the courts expect him to LIVE on that??!!
There are ZERO programs that count CS PAID as an expense, even though it's usually a MASSIVE one. And this even though CS impoverishes many men to the point that they cannot be self supporting.
"for a kid we actually see
"for a kid we actually see maybe 20 times a year if we're lucky"
Funny, I've found that the LESS often I see skids the MORE lucky I am
I count my blessings b/c the 3 skids have PASed out and we haven't received a patented fake-o, scripted-by-the-Behemoth "heartstrings" note since mid-March!! (knock on wood)
Maybe I can get GG to chant
Maybe I can get GG to chant "13 more years, 13 more years!" (as it pertains to CS)
What am I SAYING??!! He used to be PROUD of the fact he was overpaying CS. . . "I'm a GOOD dad; not one of those DEADBEAT dads you hear about!!!" (he bought into the myth of the deadbeat dad as opposed to the dead BROKE dad from the nineties draconian CS laws that were instituted)
Of course all these older folk who listen to his self-enduced sob story tell him: "One day your kids will come back to you"
Me: (thinking) Yeah to hit you up for $$$$$$$
So he goes along in life dreaming of the "grand reunion" to come. Hopefully I'll be long gone by then and so the skids will be barking up a dry post. No money to spend w/o MY income!!! :evil:
AMEN AMEN AMEN
AMEN AMEN AMEN
Agreed. CS should be counted
Agreed. CS should be counted as an expense!
Sweetie Pie, my niece ( and
Sweetie Pie, my niece ( and the only normal member of DH's family) married her DH when they had already had 2 kids. They're doing great after 6 years they just had a lot of growing up to do. Anyway she lost soooo many freebies from when she was single and "low income" to when she was married, it's almost like the system is anti-family.
the system is definatly
the system is definatly against families and is unfair. before i married dh i was a single mom, I finished college, and then worked two jobs. I still got a lot of help from the govenment. ( my sons BioDad flys under the goverments radar so i never got child support) Any how when we got married i had lost both jobs, and his ex took him to court for the first time to pay child support before that he just wrote her a check every week on a amount they both agreed to. The court told him he could not claim my son as a dependant because he had not adopted him, we were married at this point. Then i got pregnant and went to apply for wic they counted the child support as dh income even though we never see it. we also can not claim skids as dependents because we dont have physical custody. We are supossed to have them 3 days a week, and bought them there winter coats last year because in December after in snowed they were still wearing sweatshirts. I live in New England by the way. Bio mom has anouther son who she get more money for and lives with her mom, she only pays 400 a month for rent.untilities, childcare, and food all provided by her Mom. The skids get free lunch as does mine, but they all spent a week at Disney world last month. We can't pay all our bills, buy Christmas presents, and have been sharing a car for 6 months because my dh truck broke down and we can't afford to fix it. I haven't been able to find work which makes it harder. It sucks but I just have to remember he is not giving her money he is providing for his kids. I am trying to ignore what i feel is BS she does with it and remember a quote I heard "don't envy the sinner for all their worldly goods, remember that goodness is inside of you" it might be silly but it has gotton me through a lot of BS i see happening over there.
I was texting with BM asking
I was texting with BM asking how the insurance works for SS and what income she counted. She said she does count all income from support for her 2 kids and her bf's income but also counts her bf's 2 kids (EOWE) as living with her. She said SS insurance is free. I said well, we don't count SS bc it didn't seem right since he doesn't live here 50% of the time but this is still cheaper than private insurance. Her reply "There is no way you and DH make more money than us. How is this possible? It doesn't make any sense". Sure no way that you and your bf being the uneducated morons you are could possibly make less than us iwth our degrees
CS isnt screwing us as much
CS isnt screwing us as much its the freaking BM asking for extras on top of the CS payments.
On the flip side, the money
On the flip side, the money received in child support is tax free. It is meant to help pay for a roof over your child's head, food, clothes, etc. which means that more of your own income is available to pay for things for your son. Your DH's child support paid out shouldn't be considered, because if the child lived with him he wouldn't be able to claim that as an expense, why should it be different just because it is paid out monthly? Heck, if I could claim expenses for my children my income would be hardly anything.
The real problem here is that there is bitterness involved when the money is paid out and we have no say in how it is spent. Also, the cs guidelines are crazy and don't work for most fathers. But no matter what the cs is, the father (or ncp) created that child and should support it whether it's in his/her home or not. And as far as I know, nobody gets to deduct expenses for children....
I don't personally receive the cs I'm supposed to, but I feel that cs should be a tax deduction for ncp, and claimed as income for the cp. Because as a cp, I get the most tax benefits at the end of the year. I know that goes against what I just said above, but I also know how many benefits there are (currently) at tax time and I really don't think that's fair.
The tax thing is HUGE. BM
The tax thing is HUGE. BM gets about $12,000 at the end of the year for taxes! TWELVE GRAND! on top of the the 18,000 she receives in support each year for her kids! and its all FREE money to her! We on the other hand, get almost nothing. ALL the perks here are for BM. The "new" family is left without anything but has to pay like we have something. Childcare is tax deductable so there are a few expenses u get to claim on bc of ur children. We pay for SS childcare but we don't get to claim that.
Child support as we see it is
Child support as we see it is my husband's DUTY to pay the government for having the privilege of not being married to that crazy b#$%#$5h anymore... lol no doubt...and although we have had way too many rough years, the fact is that eventually it WILL END. And we have learned to live with so much less, while crazy and idiot have had the good life...eventually it stops...and when it does, it will be a RUDE AWAKENING for crazy and idiot.
Ugh, I TOTALLY agree. I
Ugh, I TOTALLY agree. I think it really sucks that when it comes to applying for anything at all, you don't get to deduct the amount you pay in CS (even though no one in your household sees one penny of it!). Our household income is SO MUCH LOWER than what it appears, because of CS. And yea the tax thing...the steps LIVE WITH US 5 days a week, and we STILL pay CS, and yet BM claims them on her taxes. WTF.
The system is so messed up.