You are here

6 year old daytime accidents uncommon?

Kay2's picture

So, BM and SD6 (almost 6) were having a convestation via webcam, and SD said she had to go potty, well she was in the restroom for awhile, SO went to check on her and discovered that she had wet her pants.

While she was in the bathroom BM calls SO (she was on webcam, why she had to call him I don't know) and started freaking out about SD wetting her pants. SO told her that she hasn't had an accident during the day in a long time. BM started saying that she doesn't believe that she hasn't had an accident in awhile. Of course what are the odds of her having an accident while talking to BM since BM only talks to SD MAYBE once a week :O .

While talking to BM, SO starts to get upset seeing as BM is basically calling him a liar. Maybe she would know what was going on if she made a point to talk to her fucking daughter frequently, but I digress. Anywho BM ends the conversation by calling SO a moron (BTW she is on webcam, and the volume is up) dumb bitch had no idea where SD was at the time, for all she knew she could have heard her. I told SO I would have terminated that conversation right there and told her as soon as she could get her emotions in check and knock off the name calling, she could resume the conversation with her daughter.

SO and I are planning to take SD to the doctor to get a professional medical opinion on it.

I just want to get some feedback from my step talk ladies, and gents.

Is this a common problem?

happymostly's picture

well my sd, who just turned seven, had a few accidents. She would just get so busy having fun and 'forgot', but she had never said before hand that she needed to go, but then went in her pants. Had she realized what she did?

Kay2's picture

She said she needed to go potty and went to the bathroom. She did have to go #2 and then SO discovered her pants were wet. She said she didn't know she had to go. She also hardly ever wets the bed. Once in the last year.

Kay2's picture

:? She didn't keep on playing, she was on webcam with her BM. She got up to go potty she was taking awhile, and SO went to check on her and found that her pants were wet. She had just been on his lap right before she got on webcam. It was probably 10mins or so before she got up to go potty. I am fairly sure that SO would have noticed that she was wet when she was on his lap. So I am guessing that she wet herself in that 10-15 minute time frame.

I do think she is just being lazy, but BM is throwing a hissy fit over this "not being normal" and thinks that it is due to some emotional trauma *rolls eyes*. SO is concerned because she does have "fruity" smelling breath from time to time, and that can be a symptom of diabetes. So we would like to rule out any medical reason, and get a professional opinion on if this is "normal" or not. Hopefully to shut BM up!

KK_8's picture

Yeah thats what i think happened. She didnt pre plan to go potty before the phonecall and then was probably trying to hold it so she could stay on the web with mom longer. She misjudged and peed her pants before making it yo the toilet, then she probablu felt ashamed and didnt know what to do so didnt come out for a while.
If youre worried about some underlying condition like diabetes because you have already noticed another possible symptom (the breath) then its good to get that checked. But even if it turns out shes 100% healthy this sounds like a one time incident- not an endemic problem.

MARLA_823's picture

Of course there is no harm in checking up on it with the dr to be sure, but I would guess in this case it was probably simply she didn't want to miss the chat, was holding it a long time, and when she realized she couldn't hold it that long, she tried to run to the bathroom and didn't make it. My SD just turned six, and she's had about two times that's happened, once she was five and we went to the park and she didn't want to stop playing and tried to hold it but ended up peeing on the playground. The other time she was four and she was playing with her cousins and didn't want to stop, but finally ran towards the bathroom and ended up peeing right in front of the door. Like someone else said, we had the talk with her that she needs to go as soon as she gets the urge, that she's too old for accidents. Now we have her go potty before we go ANYWHERE, and before EVERY meal. Maybe if you know she'll be having a chat, have her go potty and promise her you won't let her miss it!

Kay2's picture

Yes the chat is an "event", she wont miss it though. Potty breaks are common during the chats. They are anywhere from 20-40 minutes long, we set her up on webcam and let her at it. She has BM two half siblings and three step siblings and step dad that all want to chat. I agree, she just got absorbed in what she was doing. BM just makes a HUGE deal about day time accidents saying that "they mean something is wrong". That is one reason we want to take her to the doctor to shut her up! Smile

Done WIth It's picture

This is what I did with my nieces that fought and refused to potty before going to bed at night. When they'd wet the bed, in the morning I'd help them remove the sheets from the bed and do the laundry. The next time, I instructed them to not only do the entire laundrying of the sheets....but to clean the plastic mattress cover. Amazing how that stops when they must clean up the mess and do the laundry on the sheets and jammies. I was never mean to them, just let them know I was showing them what to do so they could take care of the situation themselves and the rest of the family wouldn't have to know what had happened. I was doing them a "favor" teaching them to clean up after themselves.

Now the ss....he'd poop, pee right in his pants. That was in between setting things on fire. He'd want to keep playing instead of going to the bathroom. The last time, and he was about 7....I called his dad to come clean him up at the store and take him home.

MamaBecky's picture

My SD5 has accidents occasionally because she doesn't want to stop what she is doing. She will wait until the very last second and then not make it all the way...rushing to the bathroom in a panic because a little bit has come out. I'm betting that because your SD was talking to her mom....she was probably afraid to stop web-caming or didn't want to stop talking to her mom because she thought she would go away and no longer be on the camera when she returned. So, she held it....for to long and just didn't make it. It happens, especially when they are missing a parent that isn't around enough. Instead of freaking out BM should have told her daughter once she returned from the bathroom that it was ok, these things happen, and if she has to go to the bathroom again while they are talking that she should not hold it, she should just go, and that mom would wait for her to return and never just leave/log off. Maybe if you explain this to BM it would help.

KK_8's picture

If it ever happens again, Id agree. If it turns out it was a one time deal- she misjudged and tried to hold it too long- it could be an honest mistake and one shell never make again because im sure it deeply embarrassed her.

jenstep's picture

I have a 6-yr old DD and she never wets the bed or wets her pants but she frequently misjudges how much time she has before she HAS to go. Frequently we'll be hanging out or playing and she'll say OOOH - GOTTA GO! And she rushes to the bathroom. I would think it would be perfectly normal to have accidents on occasion. I remember one time I was 9 and wet the bed. Hadn't done it since I was, I don't know, 4 maybe? When my youngest SS was in Kindergarten the teachers made each child bring an extra set of pants and undies in case of accidents so it apparently happens. In my experience it seems that at least for my kid/skids they didn't wet themselves after sufficiently being potty-trained but they had several near misses for a couple years afterwords. Sounds like your SD misjudged how much time she had before she HAD to go and was having too much fun chatting with mom. Seems perfectly normal to me. If it happened on a regular basis then I'd be concerned. If it's worrying you I'd of course discuss it with your daughter, but I wouldn't worry.

Kay2's picture

My SO and I are not overly concerned about it Dirol . We want to eliminate the possibility of diabetes, make sure that SD is healthy. BM is just somehow convinced that this has to do with SD having "anxiety issues." Of course, SO and I have never seen anything that would indicate that this child has ANY anxiety issues. BM lives out of state, she has ONE child that just started highschool this year, and clings to that as her reason why she can't relocate. She has been trying to guilt trip my SO into moving to her state since before I came on the scene. She makes up all of these "issues" that SD has when she moves from one home to the other. This woman is IMPOSSIBLE to get along with, if SO moved to her state, I am convinced that would make things worse for SD, not to mention BM being a toxic influence on the child. She is always psycho analyzing this child, with no background in psychology other that psyc 101. She has serious delusions of grandeur in terms of her abilty to diagnos mental illness. :O :O :O
She was over for dinner at one point (don't ask, I can "play" nice }:) ) and SD was a little uncomfortable, BM kept talking about SD like she wasn't there. SD was acting overly goofy, and BM pointed it out EVERYTIME she did it, SD would start acting goofy, and BM would say "this is what she does when she doesn't know how to react to a situation." she is seriously going to give this kid a complex. :sick: