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potty training--pull ups

bellacita's picture

okay so FSD will be 3 in august. trying to get her potty trained. she will go on the potty when u ask her if she needs to but never tells u herself that she needs to go and never says when she pees her pullups. so yest BM told FH that shes in panties and only has accidents occassionally. that having the undies on is teaching her to use potty bc she doesnt want to pee her pants. had FSD last nite for 2 hrs and she was here for less than 30 mins tonite and she peed both times in her undies and had to change her undies and pants. i told FH that she is not ready for panties and needs pullups still w reinforcement of using potty and being a big girl. i mean, she doesnt even recognize when she goes in her pants. she didnt tell us either time she peed herself, either bc she didnt realize or was embarrassed or just doesnt understand yet that this is not okay....my question...pullups or undies? would u keep letting her pee herself or would u pt her back in pullups until she actively tells u she needs to pee?

TheSaneOne's picture

I had to potty train my stepdaughter since mom never would and she was blistered constantly. ( and four other kids too lol) pull ups are for bedtime only - take them to pee every ten minutes, give them a book, make a huge ordeal every time she pees, she won't like the wet feeling - pull ups keep them from feeling wet. Reinforce positive behavior, gently tell her wetting her pants is icky.
I potty trained SD in the two weeks we had her, no accident's unless she wasn't taken every few minutes - it takes them a while to know what that feeling is. Matter of fact, 3 months later she stays dry at night too - she will be 3 next month, potty trained in December.
She wont tell you she has to pee anyime soon. The second she wakes up, put her on the pot and turn the water on, makes them go, then do the pee pee dance and song (u can make one up, I would tell you ours but fear of sounding goofy to an adult I won't go there LOL)

smurfy1smile's picture

The sane one is on the money. Its tough but you have to take them every 10 minutes. Do the dance, sing, give her a sticker every time she tinkles. My daycare provider helped but she had the kids wear training pants (the old fashion cloth kind) with rubber pants over them so they knew they were wet and it did not get on the pants or the furniture. She also gave them 1 M & M every time went pee and they got 2 if they pooped. One little boy had a hard time pooping in the toilet so my daycare provider offered everyone a sucker when this little boy finally pooped. All the parents were aware of this offer and imagine my surprise the day I go to pick up my kids and everyone, who is old enough, has a sucker. Guess so and so pooped!

My son was a different matter. I was a single mom and I had not clue what to do. I am proud to say we figured it out and I even taught him to pee standing up.

I agree that pull-ups are only for night use. I did bring one along when we traveled a distance and if my daughter has to go and we were not close to a gas station, I would pull over and put the pull up on so she could go. When she was a little older, I taught her to pee outside. Hey, it happens, when they have to go they have to go.

Sita Tara's picture

My sons' potty trained in their own time frame. The oldest took FOREVER, and would wet or poop in every pair of underwear (all over the couch.) At three he went to preschool and had a really long bus ride so I sent him in pull ups. One day the teacher asked why, because he never wet them all day long at preschool! He was still wetting them at home. So they do know how to work it believe me!

I immediately switched to underwear and he was day time trained (night time took another five YEARS.)

My younger son was potty trained daytime by two and a half, at night he stoped pull ups as soon as his brother did, and not a minute before. I think he was holding on out of solidarity!

I learned from this that kids potty train at their own pace. Each kid is different. My next door neighbor has twin girls a few months older than Anna (who by the way REFUSES to even sit on the potty.)

The twins sum it all up for me though. One whipped right through potty training, the other has no interest. They used candy as a reward, which I'm not fond of, but the funny thing is the twin who's still in diapers will say, "When I go potty I will get candy!" But is not motivated enough to do it anyway. So she understands the concept, sees her sister demonstrate it, knows the reward and would like it, but is still not ready.

All that being said....it's too hard to be laid back when you are doing it in two different houses.

So you will have to follow BM's lead with panties and stay on top of it. The advice above is good about training.

Peace, love, and red wine

ColorMeGone2's picture

I agree with pull-ups at night, panties during the day. They will never go to the potty if they know they can get away with going in a pull-up and once they are in panties all the time, they won't want to go back to a pull-up, because panties are for "big girls" and pull-ups are for "babies."

What worked with my daughter was having a tea party. I got her one of those potty chairs, rather than putting her on the actual toilet, and I set up a small table with a child's Disney Princess plastic tea party set. I filled up the teapot with water and she and I had a tea party. She drank the water, then she had to pee. She was sitting on her potty chair the whole time we were having the tea party, so when she finally had to go, she was already in position. After she did it once, she got motivated about seeing if she could make it happen again. So she drank more water, peed in her potty a few more times and in the course of an afternoon, she was potty-trained. They need to have that "ah-ha!" moment, where they are really focused on the sensations "down there" and what it feels like when you have to go. And even then, I still had to remind her often to go, because they have such a short attention span at that age. She may have felt like she had to go and started making her way to the bathroom, but then gotten distracted by something on the way and just forgot. My daughter is five now and has been potty-trained since she was two, but even now I have to remind her to go when I catch her doing the I-have-to-pee dance.

My son was easy. He potty-trained the summer before he turned two and I taught him by sending him outside naked and asking him to water the flowers. The dog saw him doing this, so wherever my son peed, the dog followed and peed, there, too. It became a game, but by the end of the day, BS was potty-trained!

Both of my kids made what I called "the poop face" when they had to go, so it was easy to tell when they had to poop and I was able to put them on the potty before any accidents had a chance to happen in their pants.

♥ Georgia ♥

"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)

PinkPixie's picture

I have to say that I think pull ups are a major waste of money. I think they delay potty training more than anything. The best thing I ever did with my oldest daughter was to quit using them and just let her wear undies. She had plenty of accidents. One thing to try is to put her in a skirt. Pant legs absorb a lot of the pee but when it trickles down her leg it might upset her. Also, dont' get upset with her for accidents, because then it becomes a power struggle. We always got a big jar and decorated it and called it the Potty Jar. We filled it with an assortment of candies and every time the kid used the potty they immediately got to pick a candy. It worked like a charm with all 3 of mine.

mamabear3's picture

I can tell you this.  It is ROUGH for the first little bit but push through it and keep her in underwear.  Putting her back in pullups will just take longer to potty train her.  It's like a diaper and pulls the wetness away.  If you can find some incentive for her, like if she want's to do something, tell her she has to be potty trained first.  That's how I potty trained my second son.  He wanted to go hunting with Poppy and so we told him he needed to get potty trained first.  He was potty trained for the day time in a week.  It could be an activity or a toy or a special snack.  Anything she really wants.  Just push through the urge to put pullups on her and she will get it eventually.  I am 3/4 kids doing it this way.  My DD is only 10 months so she has a while yet. *smile*

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Pull;-ups for nighttime. SD5 had some major accidents... BM wouldn't let her wear pull-ups to bed the few nights she was with her and she ended up with a yeast infection after being with her for a week and came back CONSTANTLY with rashes in general...

We brought her to the potty, a LOT of praising when she did it. A whole ton of "look at you! You're a big girl!!!" When the accidents got less we started letting her sleep in panties, and that was enough motivation to finish off the training. It's rough. But it's nice when it works!

stepmominhiding's picture

I never even bought pull ups,  at night time my kids wore diapers, but underwear was an all day thing.  Take the kid potty every 30 minutes,  they will get it. Big praises and sticker charts work great for motivation