Now I'm selfish
Not only am I a monster but I'm selfish as well. I don't know how anyone else feels but my hair care supplies; hot rollers, curling iron , hair brush and clips or scrunchies are mine. I don't let other people use my make up or any thing that touches my skin especially not someone with bad hygiene and a history of head lice. When H started fussing at me earlier about not sharing my things with sd I wanted to start screaming: MINE MINE MINE!!!! But I took the high road and tried to calmly explain my position. Didn't work still selfish. But you know what?? I really don't care. I say if we all should share let him go first, which he won't cause he thinks it's nasty. I just think it's totally gross to have someone using my hairbrush. YUCK :sick:
so what
being selfish is not always a BAD thing.
it is your stuff..let him buy her her own stuff..
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
ferretmom,
"Monster". "Selfish". These are the wonderful names the man who supposedly loves you calls you because you won't constantly bow to every whim his awful, horrible daughter wants you to???
I'm at a total loss and I feel for you.
I'm in agreement with your son- go away and let him move all your things out of the house while you are gone. These two DESERVE each other. Let them live dysfunctionally ever after!
Because YOU deserve so much better for yourself.
"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"
ick
I don't like to share that stuff either even with my own daughters. They have their own hair care stuff and makeup. Does your DH expect you to share your undies with SD too?? I have my own brush, hair stuff etc and so does everyone else. I will "share" if someone runs out of a hair care products, but I keep a pretty good supply around so that rarely happens.
Don't fee bad - my BF thinks I am being selfish cause I want to drive the vehicle I bought with my own money - I just bought it and I have not owned a vehicle in almost 2 years. I drove his.
It's Gross!
I caught my step daughter using my mouthwash...drinking out of the bottle! YUCK! I love my kids but come on, who does that???? It is particularly disgusting when she comes home from BM's with cold sores regularly!
Ewwww!!!
JamaicanMeCrazy
DISNEY LIED...THERE IS NO 'HAPPILY EVER AFTER'
If I caught anyone (DH or SD) drinking out of the mouthwash bottle I'd make them drink and swallow the whole thing! Ewwwww...that's just disgusting!
Wonder how daddy dearest would like it if his little darling princess used his razor to shave her nasty little legs?
Sharing my hair brush
is like sharing underwear to me.
It's disgusting!
Good thing for me, Blabb never brushes her hair... she never brushes her teeth... she never washes herself or any of that.
So no worries!
Absolutely not
You are not selfish. As a women, we spend a considerable amount of income on those things. You get to pick and choose whom you would like to share what I call "personal items" with. My goodness, it's not like it's your "toys" you're not sharing, a hair brush should be considered a personal hygeine product. If she needs to use those things, H needs to go purchase a few of those items for your SD. As for the make up, NO WAY! You have every right to not want someone else to use it! No one should really borrow anyone's make up. Not to mention that what if she misplaces a hot roller, or a few hair tie, YOU would have to pay to replace them.
Yuck is right
Why would you want BM's dna all over your brush? I'm sorry, but DH should understand some things here. I'm the same way. I rather go through the expense of getting SD her own hygenine and hair supplies so that she doesn't have to be in mine. I find my stress level is much lower. Otherwise I always find something wrong with them. Ugghhh....your DH is starting to piss me off.
I don't share anything either.
SD has all her own things. We keep them in a tote in the linen closet and she keeps some in her room. They are cheap enough, you shouldn't have to share. And let your H know that sharing make-up if a big no-no. He can ask the beuatician next time he gets his hair cut, she'll tell him--if he doesn't believe you.
Oh NO NO NO
I DO NOT share those items either. That has been an issue in my house too and I get irritated. Each one of us uses certain brands that fit us all individually. Also since I am the parent, I usually splurge some on my make up, hairspray and shampoos and will chop off a finger if I catch my BD's or SD using my things. Sometimes they will ask and that is fine but NO NO No otherwise. You are not selfish AT ALL! My husband thinks YOUR all girls so whats the big deal UNTIl one of the girls ran out of shaving cream and came into our bathroom and took his. He got upset,,, I THINK HE understood at that point..
Nope.. I dont like to share
Nope.. I dont like to share as well. I caught sd using my brush even though HERS was upstairs in her room. I walked up to dh and said... this is gross... she has her own.. I dont want to have to hide my brushes everytime she comes over, so you need to get her to use her own. Turns out she no longer liked her brush, but rather mine.. so for xmas she got a new brush like mine, but not identical in her stocking. I explained to dh that kids get head lice, and if I got head lice from her, there would be HELL to pay.
He said he understood, but I could see he was disappointed.. and I dont really care. He does the same thing w/chapstick.. drives me up a wall. Despite the fact that she got 2 tubes in her stocking at christmas, he gave her one of mine to use. I no longer use that chapstick, and went out and bought myself another. He doesnt get it.. SERIOUSLY!
That is
stuff that is personal hygene why is that ok to share its not healthy for you or sd.
Pet peeve
I was so mad when SD would come for a visit and not even BRING a hairbrush, shampoo, deodorant or anything! My stuff is expensive for my kind of hair and I ration it out and whenever I went to brush my hair for work my hairbrush was gone!
I made DH tell her to stay out of my stuff, my room and bathroom, unless she asked my permission. She never asked. She is slightly better now that the boundary has been drawn.
Maybe she didn't know somehow? but she does now. }:)
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
He'll do stupid things like
He'll do stupid things like tell me that I need to give sd my chapstick to use because she has a coldsore and that she'll give it right back. :sick: I've tried to explain that a coldsore is herpes and can be spread. He just doesn't get it. It's okay for my things to be public property but not his or hers. I locked all my things away where neither one of them can get to them. I told him that a person shouldn't have to live like this. I pray every day that he'll get a clue.
Here's another one...
I got the same thing b/c I got ticked that my oh so gross SS(10) started using my bath scrubby (I have no idea what it's actually called, but the colored mesh type balls that you put shower gel on) OMG!!!!!!!! I give this kid a clean wash cloth, is it asking too much that he use that and not MY scrubby?!?!? This kid can truly grate on my last nerve -- and he does it b/c he knows it aggravates me.
He comes to my house and he's always greasy and smells bad. I have to scrub the tub after each one of them bathe b/c they only bathe when they are here -- my germ-a-phobe sensor just goes haywire over this stuff! YUCK!!!!!!
Another thing he does is
Another thing he does is walk into the bedroom when I'm changing clothes and leave the door wide open. When I say anything he's tells me there's no one here but him and sd so what's the big deal. I tell him that even though we both have the same parts I don't want to see her's or her to see mine. He doesn't walk around naked when my sons are here so is it to much to ask for the same courtesy. I like my privacy.
I dont share either
FSD has her own things and I have mine and I dont SHARE!!
Like Cru and Mustang said it is about boundries too, the world is not your oyster it is a lie! except some of these guilt parenting clowns want their angels to believe it.
Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
How do you prevent it though??
How do you prevent them from taking your things? Do I have to hide everything that I use on a daily basis? My BFs daughter goes into my bathroom every time she is here, goes through drawers, takes my things, and even takes them to her mom's never to return! Makeup, FIVE pairs of tweezers, I swear every time I buy a new pair, lotions, hair straighteners, curling irons, shoes, it's insane! And of course, I don't realize until she's already left for her mother's. If I say anything to her father, he asks me sarcastically, "Do you want me to call the police?"
I put a lock on one of the
I put a lock on one of the bathroom cabinets and I have the only key. That's where I put all my hygiene products, hair stuff and make up. I did the same with my closet to keep her out of my clothes. I ended up putting my chest in there for the rest of my clothes and jewelry.
Sometimes that's the only
Sometimes that's the only thing they understand. H can't understand why I don't like anyone messing around with my stuff. Of course heaven forbid some one touch something of his. That's one of the seven deadly sins. Just the thought of someone wearing my clothes makes my skin crawl. I don't even like to wear the same cologne as another woman. That didn't come out right, I meant some woman I know.
Honestly
What kind of life is it that you have to lock all of your stuff away and unlock every morning? Haven't you worked hard enough and done enough for the family to be able to have your own things? Maybe I'm selfish, maybe I'm spoiled, I don't know it just doesn't seem right.
I am having the same issue
I am having the same issue with my SD. She comes in our room and gets my curling iron without asking, uses my hairspray, mousse, and nailpolish whenever she wants. She is using my Shampoo that is extremely expensive. I told her it was for Blondes (Me) she is a brunette. I go to get in the shower and the lid is off the shampoo and it is a HUGE bottle and almost 1/2 gone now. I politely asked her not to use it but she still does. She goes in my closet and helps herself to whatever she wants lotion, shoes, etc.
Her Dad does not say anything to her and it has gotten to the point where I am so fed up I just flat out tell her to stay out. I then walk in her room and there is my curling iron. I was livid as she has a history of lice as well and hangs out with kids that have lice. I don't get it.
My sd has the same history,
My sd has the same history, I think it's nasty that a 19yr old gets lice. H hates it that I use this as an objection to her touching anything of mine. I don't want her to even sit on my bed. The last time she had them it cost me a fortune to replace my hair things, pillows sheets and comforters. I wasn't using the old ones ever again. Then I had an exterminator come in and spray the house. He gets all defensive and yells that his kid isn't nasty but I don't know what else to call it. I mean really her room has ants and I've even seen roaches in there YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! It's got to the point that I have a contract with the exterminator to come every month to spray. What really gets me po'd is that the rest of the place is spotless it's just her room. It looks worse than a garbage dump.
I am not sure how to get the
I am not sure how to get the Dad on board to actually help her change her uncleanliness. Does anyone have experience with this and had success?
forget about it
my FH BS is just about 13 but he looks almost 16 ( I think of Zippy when I see my FSS) he is somewhat overweight and has curly reddish brown hair (it sticks up everwhere-think Einstein)he NEVER and I mean never brushes his teeth when he is with us rarely takes a shower(maybe I saw him take a shower once in about 6 EOW visits) and never changes his clothes from the moment we pick them up on Friday till we drop them off on Sunday..
I mentioned something awhile ago and got the look...ya'll know what I mean. so ya know what not my kid not my problem if fact my biosons mentioned FSS odor..told them I mentioned it to FH ..they said and??? I just shrugged my shoulders.
At least I dont have to worry about him using any of my toiletries!!
if you find a way to talk to SO about it let me know.
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
Lock it down
I can't believe that DH doesn't give you any boundries. He keeps the room open when you are naked? He tells you to share your chapstick with her...uggh. Do you have two bathrooms or one? If you have one...I would keep everything in my room....and even then lock it up. What's yours should be yours and not yours and SD. They need to learn by you making boundries for yourself because it seems like they are clueless and if you keep talking you'll be blue in the face.
Just one bathroom that's the
Just one bathroom that's the reason for the lock on the cabinet. I've just installed new lock on bedroom door too. If H wants in he can wait until I'm done. Privacy is a big issue for me cause I don't get any. My pc is in the living room, they have theirs in their bedrooms. The only time I get to be on any of my forums is when they are gone or in bed. It totally ticks off H that both my pc and laptop are password protected and I won't give him the password. He's tried to hack them but so far failed.