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I did this and I did that

EvilAngel's picture

Just got home and that's all I've heard since I walked in the door. "Evil check out the microwave, I cleaned it." Thanks you should have you're the one that messed it up. "Evil we washed the dog." Great not my dog so I don't care. "Evil we made pasta salad for dinner." Great thanks for using my last box of pasta salad without asking. I'm not praising her for doing things she is supposed to do. Am I supposed to? Because it's not going to happen. Thanks for cleaning the house you also occupy. Nobody praises me for doing the things I'm supposed to do.

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EvilAngel's picture

No I did say thank you and that it looked good but she had her head so far up my ass I couldn't tell where I began and she ended. I just remember being a kid and doing my chores. I never mentioned it because I was supposed to do it if I wanted to go anywhere.

EvilAngel's picture

Lol I just had a no nonsense mom. If I had told her "hey I mowed the yard" the response would have been "yeah because you are supposed to!"

oneoffour's picture

If these are new things for her to do, say thank you, smile and move on. OK, so she used your last box of pasta salad. But she didn't make a macaroni photo frame with it. She used it properly. Imagine you washed the car and your DH says "yeah but I take it to the car wash." He will deflate all the good things you just did.

She isn't you. And maybe your mother was a little harsh. Yes she needs some praise to encourage her to carry on. Now you can give her more complex tasks like "Would you get the steak out of the fridge and put it in marinade for dinner? Thanks! If you have questions, call/ text me."

She was proud of her accomplishments. They are small accomplishments but consider the alternative... still dirty microwave, smelly dog and you have to make dinner.

EvilAngel's picture

I guess the reason it's so annoying is because anytime she does anything...she HAS to tell me or DH about it. This is not a first. I get it....you cleaned...thank you. I don't need to hear about it everytime you do it. If she were little...say 5-6...I might understand the need for praise. She's 16.

EvilAngel's picture

I did tell her thanks. Didn't want to but I did. I was not happy about the pasta thing. I buy the Ranch pasta salad mix and then add to it. It's not all that good without veggies in it. So I fixed it the way I normally would after she had made it and she told Softheart that now it wasn't any good because I added extra stuff to it.

Monchichi's picture

We were told last year by a therapist to blow glitter farts all over SS when he used his manners. And instead of punishing him for not using them we should say conversationally to each other "Honey, I prefer it when Chucky uses his manners. I like good manners."

The result of this wonderful advice, Chucky used his manners even less. And would say to me "Maybe when I am a big boy I can learn my manners"

So hmm I'm not too sure on the positive reinforcement ideology. I do it with PPP when it's something new and challenging. Not every time she does something she is supposed to.

EvilAngel's picture

I am just not going to blow smoke up her ass. Yes I did tell her thanks but I shouldn't have to. She is the one that puts stuff in the microwave without bothering to cover it...so it probably was dirty. I don't use it. I actually didn't have one and DH got one for HER to use to heat her noodles up with. It might as well be in her room instead of taking up space in the kitchen...but WAIT..no food outside of the kitchen! }:)

EvilAngel's picture

Thunderfoot heat noodles on the stove? HAHAHAHA No kidding...she DOES heat spaghetti noodles on the stove. Not Ramen though. She makes the noodles on the stove and heats the sauce in the microwave. What sense that makes...not real sure. I really don't like her using the stove because I am afraid she is going to leave it on and burn the house down.

EvilAngel's picture

Well turns out the only reason she was up my arse hole telling me about all the great things she did is because she wants a new iPhone. HAHA.... not happening kid. I knew if I waited long enough the truth would come out. She kept on and on about what a great job she does cleaning and how good it felt to see the results of a job well done. Then came the real reason. "SOOOOOOO so you think I can get a new IPhone now?" WHAT?!?!?! No..you can't.

Monchichi's picture

That's not fair. Mine is stb7 and is as bad as the teens! I want more time before I am tortured with fouled toilets and walls.

Monchichi's picture

I'm talking about Chucky not Polly. I know she's allegedly advantaged and can wipe her own butt. She also wouldn't dare wipe snot on my walls. She likes her Xbox and tv too much. She already thinks I am too strict.

Chucky back chats, messes my bathrooms, wipes mucus on my walls, hides food under my rugs, thinks I am an imbecile and expresses he is above me in life. He's turning 7 in 3 weeks time.

EvilAngel's picture

She always has a motive for doing things. She never just randomly does something without thinking there is a reward for it. I even told her that the chores were CHORES...you aren't getting rewarded for doing the things you should be doing. DH asked her to do something the other day, can't remember exactly what but something little. She said, "Am I going to get paid for it? That's not really a chore so I should get money if I have to do that." WTF kid? No you do it because your dad TOLD you to! He told her that her payment was a roof over her head and food to eat.

EvilAngel's picture

Could you please tell that to Thunderfoot? Because she thinks she deserves something for everything that she does. She said, "I swept up SO many fur balls. It was gross." I said, "Yup...I do it every single day." Do you want a cookie? It's not even MY dog that sheds! It's HER dog! Well it's DHs dog but she calls it hers for convenience.

EvilAngel's picture

I'm game. Although your SD sounds like a pain in the ass too! LOL

O/T--I got my puppy from Ohio!

EvilAngel's picture

Your SD sounds an awful lot like Thunderfoot actually. If she has a phone or her Xbox...she is out of sight. We just moved and they haven't come and hooked up the internet yet so she's been up the ass constantly!!! THANKFULLY they are coming Saturday to hook it up! YAY!!! I'm hoping she will return to hiding in her room.

I am one of those assholes that bought a dog. LOL

EvilAngel's picture

That's odd because I was thinking the SAME thing. They sound almost identical! Jasper...what was in you said your SD was diagnosed with? I ask because my MIL told me that she thinks that TF has a mild case of Aspergers.

EvilAngel's picture

I swear your SD is Thunderfoot! She has zero friends and that's not just me being a bitch. She has NEVER had a friend over (BF doesn't count), she has never asked to go to a sleep over. Well she did once and then the day before changed her mind. She has no self esteem. She isn't an overly attractive child. That's not me being mean either, she just isn't. No skills whatsoever (except boiling noodles). Horrible in school. And she draws cartoons CONSTANTLY! Her 2 loves are cartoon characters and ghost hunting shows.

EvilAngel's picture

Thunderfoot is about 15-20 lbs overweight. And just doesn't stand up straight when she walks...she hunches over. And she wears shorts that are entirely TOO small for her.

EvilAngel's picture

Thunderfoot is not allowed to go grocery shopping with me EVER! She throws everything she sees in the basket. She got pissed off yesterday because we all went to Kroger and I asked DH did I need to come in with my lasso to tie them up so TF and SH didn't throw stuff in the cart! (I was just going to sit in the car because he was only getting one thing.) She THOUGHT she was going to get a soda because she "needed" one. And of course all that hard work she did cleaning. Nope...no sodas.

JustAgirl42's picture

My SD11 proudly told me that she cleaned the counter...yeah, by wiping the crumbs onto the floor. :? I did not thank her. (She didn't know that I saw her do that.)

She has zero chores - her dad's fault.

EvilAngel's picture

Same with Thunderfoot. She had never had to do anything until old Evil came along. So now she thinks whenever she does something...she deserves a prize for it. NO just NO! Your prize is you get a roof over your head and food to eat!

WalkOnBy's picture

Same with my skids. BabyVoice (SD13) makes toast every single day. Multiple times a day. NEVER wipes the crumbs from the counter. Can't even be bothered to push them into the sink.

Yet, she expects a reward because she puts the toaster back in the pantry.

Nope.

Pinky (SS17) and Brain (SS15) are constantly expecting to be rewarded. For doing homework. For taking showers. For breathing.

Nope.

WalkOnBy's picture

Then you must live in my house. And, since you are clearly living in my kitchen, can you please PUT YOUR CRUMBS IN THE DAMN SINK????? Blum 3

EvilAngel's picture

Good luck with that plan!! That's my plan to but I don't see it happening! She is 16 and can barely take care of herself. Well she's actually 16 and 1/2. There is NO WAY she will be ready for the real world in a year and 1/2. We are supposed to be moving to Florida next year but I am not going if she is. Just not having it...