SD’s visit is coming to a close with her birthday today and her going back to BM’s tomorrow. It has been an up and down visit. There has been a lot of positive, but there definitely has been some negative. Pretty soon after my last blog, we had a situation where it came out that SD “is scared of DH because DH stole her sister’s dog and because he can be a loud person.” Apparently since we put an end to BM’s narrative of DH being the sister’s Dad, etc. her new narrative is that DH stole the sister’s dog. Which is entirely not true and DH told SD it was not true and explained how the dog was a gift for him and how the dog has always been his. He also said that he knows she will get another story from her Mom like she has on other things already, but when she gets older he will explain things more so it makes sense to her, but she is too young now. He did tell her how there are sometimes things that people do to one another that are unforgiveable, and BM has done something unforgiveable, but that he would explain when she is older. DH is a loud guy sometimes, but he purposefully makes an effort not to yell and he certainly never yells at SD or anything about SD.  All this has really hurt DH’s feelings and while he understands she is still young and BM is trying to brainwash SD doesn’t make it hurt less.

Other than that incident, there have been some things in SD’s behavior that are very much like BM which are both frustrating and do not align with our household’s priorities. This has lessened the more time SD has been here which is good. My parents came and stayed with us for two weeks and both kids really enjoyed their visit. SD has enjoyed camp, a cooking class, swimming in the pool, etc. The biggest thing is SD made a good friend with DH’s coworker’s daughter and SD had her very first sleepover at our house. We are very happy they hit it off and finally she has a friend she does things with outside of camp and the different activities.

While SD has been here, DH received an email that SD’s therapist is taking a different position within the clinic so now SD will have a new therapist. We hope she will be as communicative with DH as the previous one, but only time will tell. After the SD situation where it made it seem like SD did not like being here, DH told SD she was leaving on Wednesday which is earlier than we typically tell her and she had a breakdown sobbing about it. DH talked to her for a long time and like we always do, told her about how she is coming next at Christmas, how my parents, sister, and brother will be here for Christmas and just trying to help her be okay with going back and the time until she comes back. I am not glad SD got upset, but I am glad for DH because it shows she does like being here and she doesn’t hate us like he had been thinking for the last couple of weeks.

BM has not texted SD once this summer on our phone for her, nor has the sister. She calls SD on that phone instead of through the CO app, I think it is because we don’t allow video chats on SDs phone and she doesn’t want to video chat and/or she wants us to start calling SD’s phone instead of through the app, but we want to video chat her which we can only do through the app. BM doesn’t ask to call SD on the weekend until it is already the weekend. I heard her tell SD over the weekend “I will try to call you on your birthday.” I don’t know if that is because she wants to try to paint it as she asked to call and we told her no or because she might forget. Either way, I think it is cruel to tell an 8 year old (turned 9 today) that you will try to call on their birthday. There should be no question about it. I shouldn’t be surprised since the last birthday SD was here (last year she was at BM’s for her birthday because of my due date) BM almost did not call her on her birthday and DH had to basically tell BM that it is SD’s birthday you need to call her to make it happen. Also discovered that this whole “trip” that BM took SD on for her birthday last year, had nothing to do with SD, it is a trip BM takes every year with the sister when SD is here on her birthday.

SD has been working on her summer math and reading packets the school sends home, plus reading the little books the school sent home for the summer. However, this year we didn’t break our backs on making sure it was done. BM for the 3rd summer in a row did not do anything for the first 2 weeks of SD’s summer break with it and I doubt she will for SD’s last week either when she is at BM’s before school starts. We took SD to get books several times this summer which she was excited about reading and she has been reading to DD as well.

There has literally been no drama from BM when SD has been here. She asks when to call and we provide a day and time, but that is all for communication. BM told SD a few calls ago that the sister is doing acting and modeling classes, has been scouted, etc. Thinking BM is trying another avenue to not have to work a job, but bring in an income. I think that about wraps up the majority of the summer with SD.