Here's one for the books--BM's dad is going to finance our court battle!
Well, it’s been a great kickoff to BM’s new baby. Today makes one week exactly that BM has had her latest spawn home with her, and SD planned to spend this weekend with her grandparents, and so we wouldn’t be seeing her. Okay, no problem. So FH and I were dressed and ready to go to a nice brunch at a prospective wedding venue when we get a call from the grandparents. Apparently about an hour after they picked up SD from BM’s, BM called irate and demanded they return SD b/c she had not fully completed her myriad of chores and thus had to both finish them and be punished. The grandparents protested, said they had her an hour away, and basically told BM to go to hell. LOL.
Well, BM proceeded to blow up their phone for the rest of the evening, and all day the following day as well. Sunday comes and it’s still going on so BM’s father’s wife calls us, basically in tears and told us that SD had confessed that BM was hitting her, and she was afraid to go home to her mothers. Apparently the grandparents have even witnessed this, but as in slaps, not the slamming her head against the wall that SD now says is going on.
The grandparents are livid, and are going to the school tomorrow to basically try to register a concern for her well being and a request that the school intervene. I have a feeling the school is going to be hands off with all this, and tell them to go to the cops.
Anyway, after a long back and forth with the grandparents (keep in mind this is BM’s FATHER and his wife) where basically FH assured them he would do anything he could in the endeavor to get SD out of BM’s house and either into our house or into the grandparents house, the grandparents decide to call BM’s husband to try to negotiate SD’s return to the house, as BM has told them that if they do not return SD by 3:00, that she would call the cops.
Not 5 minutes later, BM calls and says “SD is causing problems” and so launched into what proved to be an all day on and off conversation (we never made it to brunch) . FH’s response is “let her come life with me then.” And BM, true to form says “well if you’ll sign something saying you’ll never come after me for child support I’ll do it.” Not a word about visitation, or school, nothing, just money, and BM protecting her ass. I loved it, and was standing next to FH listening to her crap about her being a good parent and how SD is better of with her "just because". Some of the highlights, read them keeping in mind these are all said within the same day and are completely contradictory:
“SD is lying to everyone to turn them against me”
“SD is a horrible person” :jawdrop:
“SD is my life” :O
"I need SD" :?
“I didn’t spend the last 15 years raising her so she could go live with someone else”
“My husband isn’t her father, so he doesn’t give her the same attention as my other kids, that’s just the way it is” :sick:
“I’m not bringing SD to therapy b/c she’s just to going to lie about everything like she does to everyone else” :jawdrop:
“If you’ll sign paperwork saying you won’t come after me for child support you can have her” :jawdrop:
“I feel abandoned over here at my house”:sick:
“SD just likes to cause trouble and drama”
“SD hates to be seen in public with you, and she doesn’t want to live with you at all” :O
Oh it just went on and on…
So 3:00 comes and apparently the grandparents bring SD back to her mothers. The grandfather walks into the house to try to diffuse the situation SD is walking into, and BM flips out and starts screaming at him. SO he walks out without saying one word to her and that was that.
Apparently as a result of them telling BM to go to hell, the grandparents are now banned from BM’s house, and forbidden to see SD. These are people that have stepped to the plate and been there for SD her entire life, pretty much providing for everything, in addition to the ways FH has provided for her. They’ve taken her on vacations, bought her school clothes, made sure she had Christmas gifts, been there for her for birthdays and holidays, her school graduations, her school events, sports events, (most of which we were there with these people, no BM in sight).
So last night at about 8:00 the grandfather calls to see if we had heard anything further about the situation. We had not. FH tells him that we had begun investigating the legal process months ago, but were stymied for lack of money to drop 5K on a lawyer, who told us the best bet without anything in terms of photos of bruises or police reports (all we have is that BM was arrested for assaulting her own mother) was that BM wouldn’t be able to afford her own lawyer, and would just drop it.
The grandfather agreed, and said BM would have dragged it out and drained every resource we had.
That said, he said he would pay for the legal costs associated with getting SD out of BM’s home. Whether it’s into ours, or into his, he doesn’t care, as long as she is safe and loved somewhere. They are plenty well off, and live in a good town for schools, and honestly FH would not have any problem if she ended up living there instead of here. In my heart of hearts, I think it would actually be better, but you never know. Anyway, FH also mentioned to him what BM said about the CS, and basically the grandfather told FH he would help out financially with SD’s upkeep if BM was going to be like that. FH graciously declined, saying that was not the point, it was just the point that BM’s concern in all of this is not SD, but money, and that’s just sad.
So, it looks like BM’s own father is going to finance our court battle, and give affidavits! How much do you suck at life where your own parents are not only rooting against you in court, but PAYING to have a child removed from your custody b/c you’re unfit???? }:)