Camera Battles aka I just got nanny cammed
I guess that you all probably saw this coming. Hopefully you are as suprised as I was.
So, Ive had a day. But it ended up with more love and support that I ever dreamed of, not even in my wildest imaginations. And not in my wildest imagination would I ever be able to believe what has happened today if I hadnt lived it. Let me get some candles lit, recounting this is going to need some calming vibes.
Ok. Candles lit, music on, and yes I have a small glass of wine on a cute little silver vintage tray on my bed swathed in a warm blanket windows letting some fresh air in. Are you comfy too?
Its Saturday morning. I had a Friday night date night with a tub of ice cream. Woke early, languished in bed with the cat, made coffee, made a few calls. I was anticipating a busy morning with the ring camera installation guy. But I happened to text my lawyer a photo of my Big Puppy (as opposed to my small puppy) and told him I need to relinquish him to the spca but if he happened to know anyone...
As it happened his wife just lost her 13 year old Cane Corso, and had fallen in love with my cane corso halfsie (remember puppygate last year?) after seeing his picture. I listed the details...his wife and pup even have the same initials so its like he's her own personal monogramed poochkins. Lawyer, well he doesnt waste much time and he has a good feeling so he came right on over to meet him and it was a match. Wait. Lets back up.
During my coffee, I was chatting and catching up with a local girlfriend of mine who knows wasband (Wasband) really really well, and knows many of his friends having grown up in the same town. Shes been apprised of everything going on and her sister and I keep in touch also. We are hiking buddies sometimes. They know the history of things being rocky, of the diminishment and gaslighting and narcissism. The online bashing. Which btw he has really turned the tides around against himself with that.
After I get off the phone call, I hear this weird "BLOOP" like what I have heard when WB was listening to recordings from a device to a speaker. BLOOP. I look straight ahead and there under the large screen tv That WB was working on over a week ago, was a blue light shining out from behind a plastic barrier thingy. I pull the glass table holding the really large tv away from the wall, see the thing and pick it up facing me. I hear..."haha you found me! I have recordings of you"...it was the second of 2 video nanny cam type recording devices I found. The first was in the garage and I didnt think much of it....so much going on...
And I unplugged that f@cker.
Then, because I am me, I fell apart right when ring man came along. He set me up with 2 cameras, one in the front and one in the back while Im trying to stuff it down. Right at the same time lawyer arrived to meet his new competition for his wifes heart, time and love. Right at the same time the police officer took my report then asked for contact info to get "his side of the story" I just said "officer please work with me, this guy attacked me, Im scared, I have a restraining order and I just found surveilance devices that he spoke to me through...! There is no other side of the story..." He did, bless his heart,work with me.
After Big Puppy trotted off to his half acre acomodations in a multi million dollar home a few streets down from my parents house with promises I can visit (Ill wait so they can build their bonds...) I gloated over my new "security system" a few moments and got cleaned up for a birthday party I was invited to and encouraged to attend.
I was met with overwhelming love, and empathy. Its a small town and one of my "find my" contacts who knows all thats going on is basically the town crier...she spread the word, and it spread far and wide. WB will not be able to create false narratives and gain sympathy like he had thought. Hes been private messaging as well as public posting and people are blocking him and know that hes unwell and now know that he has a legal document saying he has to stay away from myself, my car, my work and my parents.
And he might have violated that with the recording device and contacting me through it. Creepy right? Its like a scary movie I watch and then turn off and congratulate myself that my life isnt like that as I go to bed feeling secure.
I have some really amazing friends, and they all circled me like wagons around the lone damsel, except this damsel has a kicka$$ lawyer and new security system, with siren on demand. We all made plans to get together, had some realling interesting and deep discussions about trauma and their experiences with restraining orders and abuse.
Everyone I spoke to was really in shock because they only know him as the nice guy, the friendly guy, the guy who is always smiling and chill. Now they know his dark side and I am hoping that the word gets out and he backs down. And leaves me alone.
Happy Saturday night. Alive and well 
- CLove's blog
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Comments
"The Nice Guy"
Keep strong and keep going. I hear ya on that "nice guy" thing but they never had to LIVE with the bum! I hear that all the time from customers of Chef and I want to hurl.
Glad you found his friggin spy apparatus! What an ahole! Your attorney sounds great too! Make sure to schedule time for self care! Maybe a dry brushing routine.
Self care
While its last on my list I am thinking I will have to find some time and schedule some self care. Along with going to the gym for strength building and eating healthy to keep energy up. But yes, Im thinking of going to a special spa we have here whereby there are steam rooms and saunas, and hot tubs and its out in nature...
A super relaxing self care few hours.
IT may be a good idea to
IT may be a good idea to inform your lawyer ASAP
Idk the all the laws but I'm sure remote video surveillance of someone in their home without their knowledge or consent doesnt sound legal to me
The quicker you mention it to your lawyer the better shot they have at accessing the evidence to prove he's acting like a creep
You also need every shred of evidence you have to paint him to the courts as the unstable, unfit, predator he has shown himself to be
Lawyer Guy
As soon as I unplugged it I texted my lawyer. And YES it is illegal, EXCEPT according to the police officer he had already told me that he had recording devices in every room in the house. BUT I have a restraining order saying he cant do that. Activated from the time of service. Which happened Thursday.
My homework today is to get my own WIFI network going, and secured. That will disable any remote recordings. Plus get all paperwork together and organized for bills in my name, important papers etc. And finally, get my story written out so when I present it to the judge its all laid out there for a permanent restraining order.
Everyone I spoke to was
That's exactly why he deserves having charges pressed against him.
And far too many "nice" men are some of the most unsavory people behind closed doors that you'll ever know.
The niceness is just a ruse (a performance to lower yours and everyone else defenses and standards).
You see their true colors when .... you're vulnerable or you say/do anything they perceive as a slight to their fragile ego.
Jesus, this guy gets creepier
Jesus, this guy gets creepier and creepier. I would be tearing the place apart until i was sure there were no more cameras.
I cant even listen to the songs with the word "creep" in them
ive looked high and low and everywhere in between.
The ring installer stated that the cameras I found are all plugged in so depending on a power source. So I checked all the power sources I could find. I keep sweeping though. Im going to focus on getting a new WIFI system with new passwords and therefore more secure and I can unplug the one he set up. Getting things in my name not his.
People thought psycho exh was
People thought psycho exh was a nice guy, too. It all boils down to what these aholes present to the public versus the true face of these whack jobs. Had the technology been available to psycho and if he'd had the funds, it's more than likely I'd've been filmed, too. I hope that creepy crap comes back to haunt wasband. *diablo*
And while I think wasband losing his shiznit and attacking you was not planned, I believe the cameras were put in place to be edited and used to show you in a bad light in an attempt to sway divorce in his favor. Please have someone check for more creeper spy cameras.
New WIFI
Im just going to wipe out the WIFI and have my own and unplug his that he set up.
Ive been researching swiping apps for iphone too. And searching the house...
He violated his restraining order. It will not go well for him.
When
I wonder when he installed them. And, this was a guy so techno-phobic he couldn't access his daughters student records....
And supposedly lost his job
And supposedly lost his job because he "couldn't figure out the computer."
When
I recall the one was when he had the tv away from the wall and said he was working on it to get better sound. This was before everything happened and he flipped out.
It would seem that either he has a lot of time on his hands and someone ELSE (another flying monkee) is doing this, or hes got someone helping him, doing it for him because thats his style. One looked new, and he even had it in the garage and was showing me and laughing. The one in the living room is older and I am keeping them as evidence.
Im praying that these were the only ones.
Sounds like a RO/PO violation to me. Now, stop with hitting
Sounds like a RO/PO violation to me. Now, stop with hitting the hope-ium pipe with this guy and write him off. Apply the full weight of all possible consequences on him legally, financially, and socially. Make sure each thing he does he is charged for criminally where applicable. What is not a crime, nail him with a civil suit.
" I am hoping that the word gets out and he backs down. And leaves me alone."
Do not hope in any way related to him other than that he spends a very long time re-familiarizing himself with prison life. Zero quarter, full confrontation, and end him. For good.
Save your hope and optimism for your incredible new life adventure and living well.
I would suggest that at some point you sell the house. Odds are there is any number of things he has peppered around the property that will surface over time. If you have to buy him out, sell it and give him his share. If you keep him buried in charges and civil suits he will have to burn all of his resources on lawyers. Make sure to have full record of every asset he ends up with so you can provide it to Judges and the public defender's office to force him to pay for his own legal representation. "If you cannot afford one, a lawyer will be provided for you" is for people without resources. Make sure he ends up without resources after he spends every Cent on lawyers.
Then when he is simmering in prison for as long as possible, you can be free and clear of him for as long as possible. However, he sounds like the type that will stalk you for all eternity so never let your guard down.
Take care of you.
"Odds are there is any number
"Odds are there is any number of things he has peppered around the property that will surface over time."
These crazies do that. I had an ex that i never even lived with who broke into my house after we broke up and put weird little trinkets behind things on shelves, etc. This was also the guy who i suspected of cheating for over a year but due to no "proof", I hung in there due to not wanting to seem paranoid until i finally caught him. You can feel when something is "off", but some of us just need the smoking gun. CLove - you have it, so use it to your advantage!!
CLove ...
When word gets, the last thing he's going to do is back down. It's more likely that it will fan the flames and he'll be enraged.
Do not let your guard down.
Spot on, Winterglow. He might
Spot on, Winterglow. He might be like a cornered, rabid animal, lose it, and feel like he has nothing to lose by going after CLove physically. IMO, he's mentally unstable. He knowingly violated the restraining order, but could not resist crowing over catching CLove on camera.
keep him buried in charges
Everything rags said is 100
Actually humorous...thinking about him scrambling and scraping once he realizes youre not believing his lies nor dealing with his un-husband-like/un-manly behavior for years like in the past
Rags is right and a better man than a good portion of these underdeveloped men out here reaking havoc and disturbing the peace of women
My ex tried to pretend he was broke (he was a disgraced one percent earner) and use free government resources to get a free attorney simply because he thought he was too good to pay (such an entitled ahole he thought he could con / charm unsuspecting female lawyers to believe his lies and represent him with IOUs) ...
Best believe I raised hell and tried to tell them his dumb a$$ wasnt poor but fleecing the low income system (our politicians/court systems are even dumber bc there is nothing that demands their financials just them verbally declaring they're poor can get them a free attorney)
the reason he did this was because he's a narcissistic tendency idiot and because he knew it would give him a delay (when you use free government resources you get what you pay for and they're painfully slow - aka gives the opposition time to scheme against you)
And speaking from experience don't ever hire a divorced man as an attorney (he's probably going to be disgruntled from his own divorce and not fight for his female clients properly) ... but regardless of gender if you notice your lawyer isn't advocating for YOU don't hesitate to call it out then find a better one.
Good quality lawyers who help you get rights youre o legally entitled to are the only ones you want to retain because they have a significant role in the outcome of your case
This violates the restraining order, because he talked to you.
This violates the restraining order, because he talked to you. That was communication. Make sure the police follow through with this, he should be arrested again. Hopefully the bond will be higher this time.
Just came back to say keep
Just came back to say keep your foot of the gas and continue to "kick him while he is down" so to speak ...
it's not to be intentionally mean but it is to use the law to hold him accountable to show him you ain't taking sh*t from him Or his minions if he dare disturb your peace.... otherwise - since he seems to fully comprehend how to respect men - jail is where he will thrive and hope Tiny and Bubba won't be disturbing his peace!
Best believe if you were the one acting like a misogynistic creepazoid toward them .... they'd have you under the jail
Unfortunately since he had the audacity to put his filthy hands on you and failed to disable his remote surveillance ... this is not the type of man you can have a cordial separation with
Definitely get all the
Definitely get all the utilities in your name for now. With his name on your wifi.. he can get in there and get access to all your electronics.. he might even have someone savvy enough to get into your personal data.. emails.. bank accounts etc..
Do not underestimate him.. he is not as stupid as you think he is.
I mean.. I recall all the "oh.. I have to check the kid's online school.. because DH is just incapable.. etc.." Clearly he is capable of setting up remote surveillance isn't he now.. now do you see he could have done any number of chores he pushed onto you.. because he saw you as a sucker.
Assume every area you are in is bugged.. Assume that he has placed a tracker in your vehicle.. Assume he has put spyware on your phone and computer.
You may want to see if there is someone you can hire to check for this kind of thing.. to "sweep" your house.. your car.. your electronic devices.
Unfortunately Clove.. you are a nice person... you are a reasonable person.. you have to come to the realization that your STBX is neither of those things. He has schemed and calculated against you. He has lied..he has physically attacked you.. he has spied on you.. made you unsafe in your own home.
The more he does.. the more it is clear.. you need to get completely away.. sell your home and find a new place... a safer haven where he is not a presence.. or a past. consider a complete move if you have friends or family elsewhere.
This guy is a criminal.. he is a drug user, he is an abuser.. he is stopping at nothing to ruin your life. You cannot stand up to him in ways you probably want to.. but you have to protect and divorce yourself from him asap.
^^1000% this.
^^1000% this.