This is way toooooo long btw.  I'll start with my appologies.

DW was late getting home last night.  Not unusual. It is tax season and she works batshit crazy hours from Mid Jan through Mid Apr.

Anyway, she texts last night about an hour later than she usually calls on her way home from the office.  She was sitting in the garage on the phone with her aunt.  I did not hear the garage door open since we are in a cold snap and the heat is cycling on and off periodically.

Aunt hit a major retirement asset milestone yesterday and called DW to share and celebrate since DW is her CPA and named executrix in Aunt's Will.  After a long convo DW advised that the Aunt not share the news with anyone.  Too late, she already shared with her sister, my MIL, so likely every cousin (DW's 3 sib,s and the youngest Aunts 3 kids) will know about it in short order.  DW is a different consideration as she has been integral in retirement planning, investment advisor selection, tax planning, and tax accountant for the Aunt for a very long time.

DW also has several very wealthy elderly clients who are stressing over defending the hill of their assets from overstepping relatives.  As us Boomers,our silent gen parents , and the first year of GenZers who turn 60 this year progress toward distribution of our estates, this will become a massive source of drama, stress,  for those in this wave, not a mention a huge business for the professionals that support these Gens. Investment advisors, CPAs, Attorneys, and mandatory reporters of elder abuse such as med professionals, etc....

We had a long talk last evening as these things tend to trigger some emotional memories and anxiety for DW when they come up.   Then today is the anniversary of the death of DW's Unicorn Cousin.  Other than their PaternalGM, this was the only close relative relationship she had from her deceased BioDad's family.  DW bought her cousin a beautiful bracelet with specific charms on it when cousin was once again Dx'sdwith cancer several years ago.  Cousin passed two years ago. Cousin's DH called on the 1yr anniversary asking if DW would like him to send her the bracelet she had given to her cousin.  Cousin's DH called again today to get the address for him to send the bracelet. He did not send it a year ago due to severe grief he experienced after speaking with my DW. There has always been a creepy thing with cousin's DH and his family regarding my wife.  He and his brothers seem to have the hots for my wife and apparently have since she was in her teens.  DW used to spend much of her summers with BioDad's mother, brother, sister, and the extended family.  Any time she is at a family event and anyone from cousin's DH's family is there, it gets weird. There is a herd of these guys why had the hots for my bride in that town.  Unicorn Cousin's younger sister's (tragically a crack head with multiple now adult kids by multiple baby daddys) first DH was a guy my DW dated in her mid teens in the summers when she was visiting BioDad's family. He knocked up the youngest cousin after DW and I married.  Though I digress.

Combined these two events, grief over the anniversary of the passing of the Unicorn cousin, and the anxiety over the likely drama forthcoming from the assault on Aunt's money from the rest of the family, and adding in tax season stress, aging wealthy clients navigating the defense of their resources, has DW wound pretty tight emotionally.

I have shared many times over my STalker years that DW's BioDad was killed a couple of days before my MIL found out she was pregnant with my DW.  He was in the service so MIL and DW had great VA survivor's benefits. Until MIL remarried when DW was 2mos old.  They never did an adoption due to DW's very significant VA survivors benefits.  When DW had graduated from HS at 17 she started planning to attend University out of state.  MIL attempted to pressure DW to remain in state, attend local universities and finance it via student loans while giving her VA benefits to MIL to help support the family.  DW refused and left for Uni out of state.  MIL lost her own VA survivor's benefits upon her remarriage when DW was 2mos old.

In MILs defense, once DW chose to attend Uni out of state MIL made her follow through and did not allow DW to back out at the last minute.

Over the next several years MIL had several melt downs over DW's evolving life of adventure and accomplishments.  MIL lost her mind after DW and I bought out first house. DW was 20yo.  MIL was all pissed off that DW had her first home far earlier than MIL had hers.  MIL still gets tantrumy over DW's life and financial position.  MIL and DW's sibs are not particularly kind in their comments about their "rich sister" and often side step that she is exceptionally successful in her own right commenting on "sister's rich husband" or their "sister's husbands rich family".  Delusion is strong in all three sides of DW's family. Maternal, BioPaternal, and SPaternal.

Anyway, Aunt called, she and DW talked for quite a while reviewing Aunts assets, etc...  Now I fully expect the pressure on Aunt for money will start in short order as ..... loose lips sink ships..... as the saying goes.  The cash payout of Aunts state retirement completed yesterday so now she has unencumbered access to 100% of her assets without penalty.  Before yesterday, she could easily play the "it is all locked up in my pension" card. in response to anyone pressuring her for money.

The only person Aunt is likely to deny "help" for when asked, is my SIL.  DW's youngest sib.  She has ripped Aunt and everyone else off for so much that Aunt is done with her.  She is specifically mentioned in the Will converting what she has stolen over the years into her inheritance unless she has stolen more than an equal share to that of the other 6 nieces and nephews.  If she has stolen more, the estate (my DW as executrix)  will sue her for the delta between what she stole and what would have been her share.

Karma for SIL will come when Aunt's estate is distributed, hopefully not for multiple decades, when she gets nothing and the other 6 cousins all get an equal share of a notable estate.  Hopefully I am in the Will reading with all of the cousins, DW, and the estate lawyer when SIL loses her ever loving crook mind.

MIL's historic sensitivities regarding DW's accomplishments, success, comfortable life, homes, cars, trips, etc... will likely crop up again now that her little sister is a notably wealthy/financially secure individual.  DW and the Aunt are very close, and the only two in the entire family who have had successful careers.  The Will splits Aunt's estate into two halves.   One goes to my MIL if she survives the aunt. The other half goes equally to the aunt's 7 nieces and nephews.  If aunt predeceases my MIL, no doubt SIL will start the full court press on her mother about it not being fair that SIL did not get anything. Though it will be read to everyone at the reading of the Will at the estate attorney's office when the time comes.  The Will makes very clear the why of SIL not getting anything else and Aunt is clear that everyone will be present at the reading of her Will.  The intent with that is to keep SIL subdued.

Between my MIL (early 70s and very large), her sister  (Aunt) (late 60s but has had multiple strokes), and my own parents who are very healthy but both in their early 80s, DW and I will be navigating this at some level for the next decade or more.

My preference would be for them all to bounce the last check they write and slide into the curb at the pearly gates with the tires smoking, a blown engine, laughing "What a ride!"  That is my dad's teasing goal.  I like dad's end of life model. I hope he and mom accomplish just that.

Woo Hoo!

My mom and dad have had their estate structured since I was in my mid teens. There has been no change except recently and that only changed transfer of ownership of their home.  Everything else is distributed the same way that was structured 45-ish years ago.

Be wary folks. Toxic entitled greedy people are the shit that they are and they rarely if ever change their leopard stripes.  Protect yourselves and your elder relatives from the thieving trash circling like vultures.  We each know who those people are in our lives and the lives of the people we care about.

I have done a bunch of reading lately over the need of Millenials, GenZ, and Gen-Alpha to receive significant inheritance in order to have secure retirements.  Those same articles put a ton of column inches into reviewing how the remaining Silent Gen, Boomers and GenX are not likely to distribute assets to their progeny until their demise which is causing huge delays in home ownership and financial security  as well as anxiety for the Millennials (GenY), GenZ and beyond.  According to the pundits and "experts" writing the articles, this is large part driven by the unsurety of Silent, Boomer and GenX regarding their assets lasting the lifetimes of those who hold those assets which is delaying distribution and gifting to their progeny.  

The challenge seems to be that GenY, GenZ and beyond are not exhibiting the comprehensive level of work ethic, drive for advancement, and financial security/savings that the preceding Gens have lived.  They value instant gratification, flexible work cultures, extensive vacations, etc.... Yet, they also demonize those who figured out how to be successful in the prior Gens labeling them as greedy, and demanding that those Gens give up their money.

There is some interesting stuff unfolding out there.  The recent decades seemingly have polarized the earners and savers of the elder Gens and those who value other things while demanding that they be given financial security by their predecessors.

Of course most of these articles are written by pundits and pseudo scientists who have a vested interest in legitimizing themselves through the disruption and polarization of societal elements.

As a last year Boomer, these are things that occupy my bored mind.

Be wary. Take care of you.