I think it's great that you have been able to do some introspection and decide what you will and will not be able to tolerated.

I don't think all men are trying to be users... but I also do think that societally women are bestowed with the preconception that they are the nurturing side of the couple and that they are inclined to want to step in and do the kid care and home care etc...  I also think that many times.. we, as women, try to be the person our prospective partners want us to be.. we "interview for wife role".. cooking... cleaning.. caring for the kid.. acting interested in their kids.. etc.. because we want them to "like us".

I am also a bit further to the Hermit side of the scale.  I am fine with people.. but not all the time.. I want to pick and choose.. and it's hard in steplife when your partner has custody.. even when you don't feel like having your life overrun.. that you don't want to deal with the noise.. the just general chaos that more people in your home generate.

Lucky for me my SO "gets" me.. and is careful to not overcommit me to too much social stuff.. his kids are now grown.. and we are not the grandpa house at all.. I dealt with kids for over 10 years in my home.. I was pretty clear that I was not going to be the baby sitter type for his grandkids.. haha.  and he is fine with that.

I'm also an introvert. It's one of the reasons I never wanted any children. I need my quiet and solitude. 

I would rather live alone in a cardboard box than with a man who has kids. The drama, the noise, the extra work... well everything you said. No thanks. 

I'm a socially adept introvert. People used to think introverts were shy and socially clumsy. It's not true. I've learned that it's about where you get your energy from. If people with people invigorates you, you're an extrovert. If being with people drains you and you need solitude to recharge, you're an introvert.

Being with people drains me, but I love being with the right people. I'm very gregarious and I make a lot of friends, but I don't want the kind of friendship where we're always up each other's butts. Most of my friends are the types to be okay with talking every couple of months and getting together once or twice a year. My closer friends I see a couple of times a month. The only person I'm in daily contact with are two of my friends: My BFF and my one online gal pal.

I did NOT like sharing a house with XH2 and his 4 sons. They would rotate in and out of the house, flip flopping between their mom and our house. They would leave messes, bring friends over, sneak girlfriends in, smoke pot, drink underage, eat all the food and not contribute a damned thing. XH2 loved it. Typical guy getting off on "providing" for his sons (which I was involuntarily subsidizing by having them under our roof) and feeling like he was winning over the BM by buying their love.

He defended me once or twice but most of the time threw me under the bus. I would get yelled at or given the silent treatment if I maintained boundaries.

The worst was when his 16 year old son was LYING to get alone time in our house with his 16 year old girlfriend. My XH2 colluded with his son to get him laid. I found out and interfered because HER parents thought there would be adults at home. I new different and canceled plans to be around the house. This pissed off SSthen16 and XH2. Then they tried to pull it a second time and XH2 lost his damn mind.

He's a vile person and his sons will likely be as vile as he is and objectify/use women for their own purposes.

With XBF, his daughter lived on the other side of the state and is older than my kids, so I never lived with her and only saw her a couple of times a year. And my XBF was even more introverted than I am.

I get it. I haven't lived alone for more than a few months here and there. I've always had someone to live with and right now it's my DD30. Now that she's working, it's easier for us to live together. She's out of the house most of the day and we only see each other in the evenings and some on the weekends. I get a lot more time to myself and I like it.

Im halfway between extrovert and introvert. I love being social and get energy from it, in the moment.

I am also happy being on my own. Certain people suck me dry. I feel depleted and heavy.

But school cured me.

I am definitely an introvert.  I don't necessarily want to ever live alone but will never want to live with anyone other than my husband, bio kids and maybe a few guinea pigs and parakeets.  Being around people drains me.  Being around the wrong people sucks me dry.  When SS came to live with us it was a nightmare for me. I felt like my space was being invaded.  It only got better once my daughter was born.  

I dread the day that I will have to go back to work.  I can only hope that I can work from home and not do video calls. I don't want to work in an office again.  Or deal with people.  I had one job a long time ago now, that I actually liked.  I worked for a drug distribution company and my position was working in what they called the cage. (we sold to pharmacies mostly) There were the stronger meds like xanax, the narcotic pain meds, etc.  I was able to work by myself for a long time and I loved it because everybody left me the h3ll alone.  Until they decided that I needed another person in there with me.  Not my idea and I didn't want or need any help.  They sent someone in with me that I didn't like.  I felt like she was trying to take my job.  I went to the big boss and with the right approach, I was able to get that woman out of there and I got the lady that I requested in there with me.  She never made me feel like she wanted my job and we worked well together.  I never felt like she was invading my space.  I left because of the hours but I liked the job itself because I didn't have to be around a lot of people.  

I'm becoming more like my mother.  She won't even go in a grocery store anymore.  She orders online and picks them up.  She says she hates people.  I don't but I don't like a lot of them.  Too many have shown themselves to be complete jerks or fakes or something.  

I am an introvert but I am also very social. I enjoy a bustling house as long as everyone minds their own business, is courteous, and knows how to take care of themselves. As I get older I enjoy solitude and quiet more than I used to. I raised my own BK's and now I'm enjoying being an empty-ish nester. I have no desire to raise any more kids, especially not somebody else's kids.

I grew up with a big extended family that was FUN to be around.

On the other hand, my Sdiablas26&24 can suck the air right out of any room and instantly kill joy with their angry demeanor and nasty attitude. They are exhausting. I feel for the fool that tries to be in a romantic relationship with them. No amount of lingerie is going to make up for their terrible personality.

There's being an introvert, and there's not wanting to spend time with people you don't like. I have no problem being around SOME people. The thing about skids is you have to tiptoe or risk being seen as the dreaded "selfish" or "controlling." When they are your own kids, you can say how things are going to be. With skids, there's a lot of silently being uncomfortable. ETA things you say to your own kids that are viewed as "parenting", if you say them to skids it's "what a controlling b!tch!" 

Being a step parent as something we could handle. That our SO would be normal. They would parent ,, they would treat you with respect and mage tge kids respect you.  What we forget is if they were that good they would still be married. We didn't get what we bargain for.  

While I am definately an extrovert, I can go either way.  I have shifted as I have matured from way up front extrovert to more moderate extrovert perspectives.  People I care about I will engage with actively.  At a party I am an active circulator and engage with everyone.  I never meet a stranger.

Though I can also be perfectly happy for days on end in my space alone recharging and resetting.  Reading, napping, going on solo hikes, etc....

For me it is the quality of the people, and the quality of the interface. If those are not there, I do not care.

I'm an Ambivert. Extrovert when with close friends and introvert the rest of the time. Social gatherings are excruciating as I need to work myself up to function and take 1-2 days to mentally recuperate.