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Another wrinkle in time (with skid)

CLove's picture

Whelp, for those that read my previous blog, I still havent been able to determine the EXACT reason that THIS particular weekend (memorial=long+bday EGADS) was chosen as "dads time'.

More wrinkles: her bearded dragon has crossed the rainbow bridge and passed over to the heated rocks in the sky. That was this morning (Thursday) after an evening of watching him deteriorate. It wasnt her neglect from 2 1/2 months away because husband took good care of him - we suspect that the new food purchased at walmart was possibly the culprit. So this morning was filled with tears and sadness...

But let me backpedal a little. So, when she came in, friendly and happy to see us. Cheerful greetings and then the conversation about the ukelele that was never had the text never responded to. I just told her I got it strung and if she didnt want to sell, its tuned and sounds really great. She mentioned this uke was actually Feral Forgers who left it behind and she has no attachments, because she has a better one given to her by her maternal gramps. She wants the money for a game, so I just mentioned some pricing and told her think on it no rush.

Then the rush to try to resiscitate the poor beardy. It wasnt pretty. She fed and bathed him, and just lethargy. I took off to gymn and then dinner alone while they figure things out. They went shopping, then back into their respective rooms, where I heard convos w friends and laughing, and then in man cave, Future war blazed on.

No conversations about bday plans, so Im keeping quiet.

All I did was text Husband to see which day it was exactly. I know its this weekend sometime, but my disengagement has been such that I am blanking out on it!!!! I just asked what she wanted to do. He is going fishing Saturday, and Im planning a hike into a new and challenging area.

I super did not plan on her being with us this weekend, and previously I had taken her for u-pik berries or shopping trips at the mall (an all day excursion) along with a swing by my parents house to pick up presents my mother has always bought ahead of time along with a really nice card.

And now I was just planning on...her doing her own thing. Over at her mothers, with whomever. I feel guilty because I have made my own plans. There is a ginormous Reggae festival tht folks are traveling all over the world for. 4 days. Im hoping to go one of the days into the night. And mustering the guts to take on a new trail that looks hard. I guess I better jet on over to target and get that gift card(?)


AlmostGone834's picture

As someone who cares deeply for animals, and is very affected by the loss of a pet... your SDs cavalier reaction to the death of her dragon sickens me. She should not be a pet owner.

CLove's picture

I neglected to mention she was in tears and crying this morning. I guess that she thought the bath and all the attention she had given last night would do it.

She generally is very caring of her animal friends. Thats not the issue, but I understand...

Survivingstephell's picture

This all the way!!!!!!!!      You go on with your plans and stop feeling guilty.  This is one of those life lessons  a stepparent can teach.  You drop communications, people go on and live their life without you.  Aren't you working on a plan to leave?   

CLove's picture

Playing long game. Making the changes I need to and getting stronger...

la_dulce_vida's picture

Anything her father gets or does for her is also from you. Don't do anything extra, please.

It will NOT be appreciated and sends a signal that you're still available as a doormat.

Evil4's picture

I agree! BS/PS' response to getting the ukulele restrung is something else. I would not do another damn thing for her. 

Noway2b1's picture

She happened to be there for the passing of the pet. At least there will be no repercussions from that. You're doing great letting go Clove and just doing you! 

CLove's picture

Yeah, hed been on the new food for only a few days. And apparently it was a quick thing. Its just going to be a weekend of tears and what can daddy do to make her feel better. 

I told him "please dont get another one". He tends to buy another pet when one dies. We currently have cat, dog, rabbit, fish.

Noway2b1's picture

Especially with her just a little over a year from 18 and already not around as much! 

CLove's picture

I wonder if I should ask Husband about if Toxic Troll asked him to take her this weekend because Dude.

la_dulce_vida's picture

Don't ask. Doesn't matter and could cause a negative reaction from your spouse. It also tells him that all these people are taking up too much space in your head.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Do NOT buy a gift card. Stick to your plans. 

Good ol' dad can take her fishing for some birthday weekend bonding time. His circus, his birthday monkey.

JRI's picture

Clove, you're a good person and formerly took her to various activities and planned thoughtful excursions.  You have to adjust your expectations.  She's a teen, she's self-absorbed like we all were, she probably never thinks much about her relationships with you and DH and she's interested in her friends, real or virtual.

It's hard not to take personally but that's the reality, it's neither good or bad.

1st3rd5thWEInHell's picture

Its just another weekend for you so keep your plans and ignore the rest. She can plan her bday and other stuff with your husband if they want but it seems that they have it covered with the shopping and fishing

Ignore this and focus on your activities as planned

CLove's picture

no planning. she doesnt want it. I should not mention it anymore.

Rags's picture

Gnawa is very Reggae in nature.  If you like Reggae I recomend a trip to Morocco for the Gnawa festival.  Take a week or two, see Marakech, Fez, Chefchauan, Mechnes and Volubilus as well as the festival..


Winterglow's picture

And if that isn't enough to tempt you, factor in the delicious Moroccan food and fabulous beaches!

Rags's picture

My surfing days are long over, but I did some body boarding that was incredible while we lived there 2015-2017.  Right on the beach.  Our view was incredible from our apartment in El Jadida.  The Atlantic ocean was our "front yard".  At least once you left our gate, and went over the beach road.  If I could post pics, I would.