How to Deal with Wife and Ex
About 3 weeks ago, it was decided between my wife and her ex that he would no longer be doing his 1-day per week overnights with their son. He gets every other weekend + tuesdays prior... so overnights drop from 8/mo to 4/mo
My wife was pretty upset about this, and told me about it after it happened. Saying- he's not going to do Tuesday's anymore.
This is not my lane, and I just want to take a supportive role about whatever they decide.
For the backstory... her son had declined quite a few weeks recently saying he wasn't feeling up for it on Tuesdays. During the 3 years I've known her, the ex blows it off at least 1 out of 4, with no notice that he won't be coming... So anyway it was always messy and I'm not really sure which side (her son or her ex) is pushing for this or why it came to be. I asked and no reply..
So time goes by, and whatever I'm not really having much opinion or concern on this change.
So what then gets agreed upon, without any discussion with me, or even attempt to notify me this is happening... is the change becomes not that the ex won't see his son Tuesday, but that he will stop doing overnights at his place on Tuesday's...
So last night... I come home from kids stuff around 6:15 and notice he is parked outside our house. I asked my wife what was up, and she said, oh he is taking SS to dinner on Tuesday's now. Ok, wish you'd have said something, but whatever, it's a bit strange he is parked out front if they are going to dinner?
So wife and me are having dinner outside (its nice out here) and talking, and I can hear him and SS in the space behind our backyard.
He has now shifted his weekday parenting time from taking him to his house and bringing him back in the morning, to doing it outside of our house in the yard space behind us for 2 hours... ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
Sorry, did I say that last part outloud?
I said- that doesn't sound like dinner. She said what? I said- them playing back there- that isn't what you said they were doing tonight...
She got short with me, said she'd take care of it, wouldn't ever happen again...
I know none of this is my wifes idea, but I am just getting beyond fed up with these situations I end up put in. I'm not trying to be an angry person, that has some sort of vendetta for this guy, but the situations that keep coming up are insane.
Her position is basically he is an unreliable coparent, and has let SS over and over throughout his life, so she is trying to do what she can to support them maintaining some relationship... My position is WTF