You are here

Put your kids first...please!

unbelieveable's picture

Welp...this weekend the girls told us BM went to other baby daddy's to collect some of her mail and I guess she found a brochure that baby daddy had sent for to look at some houses - a friend of his told us he was looking to move as his house is right behind BM's parents and he can't start dating anyone bc he feels like everyone is constantly watching him...

Welp...with that said - BM dumped her boyfriend - the boyfriend of like 3 months she was cheating on baby daddy with and she's already been taking to dr. appts., school functions, etc. And now "mommy and other baby daddy are working things out..." - I started laughing hysterically - and so did my not so DH - this is the 3rd time she has moved from HIS house...and the 2nd time she has cheated on this guy a total jackass? She must have realized "oh shit he's going to sell his house which means he is moving on..."

So then - my man calls her to see what time he can meet her halfway to drop the kids off...she starts screaming that he hasn't even had them for 24 hours and blah blah - he said uhh - I didn't say I was bringing them back right away - we were planning on keeping them for dinner...she then says "well I am NOT doing this right now - I am at baby daddy's parents house and I've already had to go outside!" WTF? He just wanted to see what time she wanted them back?

This is how the conversation started - he started to ask the girls- and then they told us about the mail.

I was so pissed I looked at them and I said - we need you to know that this is not right. Do you understand that you can't have a baby with someone and have an argument and move out all the time and have other boyfriends?" They both said - well yes - we know that....and their dad says, "are you sure you understand what we are saying???" and they like looked at us like that was a normal thing...because that's all they know...

We assume she will be moving them again soon...back in with him...I am starting to lose count of how many times she has moved them - we know it's like 14 or 15 now in 5 years...their dad also explained to them that this is why he thinks they are having a little trouble in school and while they aren't listening to her...

I mentioned to him yesterday how dumb WE have been...we should have been documenting dates of everytime she has moved them....I wonder if a judge would have an opinion on this? I wonder what actually makes a parent unfit?


Jsmom's picture

Honestly, if you had brought this to court, she would have visitation only by now....Document everything going forward.

unbelieveable's picture

The only issue I have with this is that we are not in a perfect situation either...we do live with his insane parents that lie constantly and swear like it's their job in front of the kids...we aren't perfect either...but we don't move the kids around - and we will not until we know we are going somewhere and staying there - we do provide them with rules and structure and they know we are the bosses. We have had issues with that in the past and kids will be kids and they do get confused BUT - they know there are consequences to their actions here...I just want to win the lottery and build a house and keep them with US. I told him not to go forward with this until we are atleast in an apartment. I feel like a judge may say, "well - you don't have your own home either...they don't have their own bedrooms, etc." and may look at him like he is crazy because he wants them with us in a home we share. I am just the girlfriend and part-time mom of 5 years I obviously have no say in how this goes - but I do want the best for the girls. I think I can help just making sure things are documented - I know I can't go to court - DH is on his last nerve with this...he did say he can probably take witnesses with him - we have ALOT that could say - she keeps moving them....I don't want her to lose their rights to them or anything - they are HER kids...but what she is doing is so wrong! I'd like to just switch the arrangement - they live with us - I dont even care if he doesn't collect support from her -we'd have his back so we'd be fine....IT'S SO FRUSTRATING!!