You are here

So Christmas is over and it's time for me to ask

AgedOut's picture

How are you? 


Not how's the husband, skiddos, bios or pets. Not how're the in-laws or the Bm from hades. 


How are you doing? What's going on in your head? What keeps you balanced or throws you off your game? 

How are you, as a person? Are you okay? 

classyNJ's picture

For always asking us how WE are.  

How are YOU?

I started the New Year sick with some type of virus, but am on the mend.  I am getting plenty of rest and relaxation.

Other than that, I feel I am in a good head space right now.  Not worrying over small stuff and looking for new books to read Smile

AgedOut's picture

I'm glad you're on the road to healthy again. Not worrying is a wonderful thing. What types of books interest you? I'm a big 'Douglas Preston & Lincoln Child fan. I've got the entire series. 


I'm pretty good. Spent December trying to fight off double pneumonia but am finally weaned off all the meds and other than a cough when I get out of breath and a weird tired feeling, I'm almost back to my snarky old self. 



classyNJ's picture

you are feeling better.  My doctor told me the cough and tiredness can last upto 6 weeks.  I can now fold a load of laundry without having to sit down every few minutes.

I am a horror and thriller fan.  I normally just browse the horror section on my kindle and download whatever looks good.  I am now adding Douglas Preston & Lincoln Child to my list.  Thank you for the suggestion! 

justmakingthebest's picture

I love that you ask this!!

I am ok-ish. Preparing for the hubs to leave has left kind of a shadow over our holidays this year. 

My mom had another cancer scare last week and that was horrible. Thankfully, for now she is ok and still in remission. 

Work is stressful this time of year, teenagers are hard in general.. I'm just tired but the kind of tired that doesn't go away with sleep. 

We do have an amazing cruise coming up in April, so I am focusing on that right now. It is my light at the end of the tunnel. It will be wonderful and we have a group of like 30 going! 

AgedOut's picture

It's good to have something to look forward too. When life keeps crapping on us we tend to feel helpless and lost. I'm so glad your Mom got past her scare. I admire you for your strength, espcially with so much on your plate. Between parents, spouses and children we can get lost in the shuffle. 

JRI's picture

You're very thoughtful to ask how we are.

I'm good, I always love January after the holiday stress.  It's almost my fave month.  I get caught up from everything I put off on December,   The family seems to quiet down.  I get my house back in order.

Now, just to lose those 2 lb I gained last month..

AgedOut's picture

January is always a catch up month for me too. I bet you're enjoying your calmness and order again. 

PetSpoiler's picture

Thanks for asking!  I'm dealing with the perimenopause, and have been for about two years now I think.  My allergies are worse, my back is killing me, and anxiety has been pretty bad.  I'm hanging in there though.  I got back into my exercise routine back in October and it's brought down my cholesterol.  It's not where my doctor wants it yet but he was pleased with it when I saw him last month.  He said he wouldn't try to twist my arm about getting on a statin to lower it since it went down.  That was only within a two month time so hopefully I can get it where it needs to be by the end of the year.  I'm also hoping to not deal with weight gain which I've heard can happen to some women as they go through the change and maybe exercising will help with that as well as help with the anxiety too.  I'm sitting here eating my oatmeal in front of my space heater, trying to get warm.  It's 74 degrees in here, our central heat works just fine, but I'm cold. My husband doesn't understand how it is that my daughter and I are always cold.  Frankly I don't either. 


AgedOut's picture

Menopause is a evil bitch isn't he. I know it's male because it makes us women suffer and it just keeps rearing back up once you get a grip on it. plus it starts with "men" 

Exercise is not just good for physical changes, it really helps with mental quirks too. I think though that we all tend to get a bit down and anxious in January. Such a bleh time of year. I'm an always cold-er too, we should form a club. Burn a few exes at the stake to keep us warm....

SeeYouNever's picture

I was about to book a solo vacation for myself to unwind and another vacation with DH and DDs. But... They laid off a fifth of the workforce at my job and that's made me anxious. I've kept my job but they haven't closed out this whole reOrg and who knows if this is all of it or just phase 1.

I have all these projects that I don't know what to do with, as of now I'm not laid off but I haven't heard from my own manager about the future of his role or if our group is getting absorbed by another. They may not even know yet.

I've worked here for 7 years and had 4 managers. This current one is the best.

AgedOut's picture

The company may have told the managers to hold it close to the vest so to speak. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Thank you for asking! Hope you're doing well. *give_rose*

I'm on the crazy train: overextended, but get some happiness and satisfaction from it...

Work is insanely busy, but King Pita has been slightly less of a pain for the sole reason that he has been sucked into countless zoom meetings. I cannot help but wonder how much he actually comprehends. Evil Aniki hopes upper management realizes that KP is so NOT an asset (just an ass) and promote him to a position where he has less contact with people.

I took a part-time job 8-12 hours a week and working only when DH works. Really enjoy it, like the employees and vice versa. The owner actually offered me a full-time position. Too bad he can't match my salary!

I was worried I had lung or kidney tumor or cancer. Nope. It's a muscle in my back that is so knotted, my back is swollen on that side. Happy joy. Thanks to lidocaine patches and meds,  I can finally move my back without grimacing. 

Started another job for 3 memory bears. These are my no-meds-needed stress relief.

Trying to avoid that emotional vampire, Mrs. Jones. Why she has decided to latch on and attempt to make me her new bestie is absolutely baffling. When I told her I couldn't meet for lunch because I had an appointment, she demanded to know "... what's wrong and why you don't know when you're coming back". Do YOU know precisely when you'll return from an appointment? Maybe they're running behind. Maybe traffic will suck. And I never said WHAT kind of appointment. Why ASSume doctor? Could be nails, tarot card reading, new bathroom consult. I was actually driving a friend to her appointment and we were getting coffee after. Not that it's any of Mrs. Jones' beeswax. Evil Aniki needs to step up. Sigh.

Dreaming of vacation...

AgedOut's picture

Vacation sounds blissful. We actually have one coming up next month and yes, it involves me going to a baseball game but it also involved the Mr sitting on the beach with his brother so that's a good thing too.. but not baseball good, just long distance sibling good. 


you do realize I'm now singing "Me and Mrs Jones Mrs Jone Mrs Jones ..." maybe you should send her on a wing goose chase, hint that you have the symptoms of pregnancy w/out ever saying it. Then sit back and play innocent.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Symptoms of pregnancy at 57yo? Bahahahahahahaaaaa!

Mrs. Jones' biggest problem is that her memory is crap. Past history of too much pot, too many drugs, and too much alcohol. She has ruined her health with horrible choices. I used to feel sorry for her husband until I realized he's an uber-submissive enabler who worships the ground her cheating feet walk on. I understand "for better or worse" as I definitely went through worse and stayed too long, but to continually support someone's craptastic choices that are ultimately destroying them? Oy.

There's another Jones song, but I cannot remember the lyrics. It has a more upbeat rhythm... kinda pop rock. 

Hope you have a wonderful vacation!

AgedOut's picture

sadly I have to wade through 34 more days before we go, but who's counting.


I finally got that damn song out of my head and this morning I was listening to auditions on The Voice (all countries) on youtube and one of them sang that damn song. 


Meeeee and Mrsssss Jones Mrs Jones Mrs Jones  ARGH!!!

Cover1W's picture

WELL thank g*d they are over that's all I can say. DH went away on a trip by himself about 10 days before Xmas. I was not happy about it but couldn't really really say no to it. At least YSD wasn't due to come over (over my dead body and he knows it). Anyway, so no holiday stuff planned at all at that point. I unplugged the tree and ignored everything holidays. I did do a little baking, but not much. DH was trying to figure out how to ask me to run some errands for him while he was gone, but thought better of it - much, much wiser he is now.

Holidays come and DH has Covid over Xmas, YSD freaks the eff out and I think if I hadn't driven her she'd have walked to BMs. Good riddance at that point. We had almost no gift exchange at all. Also just fine with me. I just don't care any longer. Then I got Covid over New Year's and was much sicker for longer than DH. I'm over it now.

Work hasn't been too stressful but the person I almost had to let go did the job for me and gave her notice so now we're scrambling to cover her (at least her workload had already been reduced due to lack of performance). But that's ok!  I'm becoming more involved with mgmt level things and that's great!  

I have a new dentist this year, much more convenient for me and I am going to start working with a naturopath on some minor heath things and perimenopause. That was a goal for me. 

DH is taking me out this weekend for a lovely get away (Oh, I have to make reservations at the restaurant I want to go to...!) and my b-day is the end of month and I told DH I don't want to go anywhere again, but he can get some yummy takeout and I can open a good bottle of champs and I'll be happy!

Get this winter DONE.

AgedOut's picture

a little pre-birthday celebration sounds blissful!! Glad you're both recovered from covid. 

AlmostGone834's picture

Still recovering from the Christmas circus over here. Just plain tired from it all and the business has been busy. Customer that we just signed on with is in a panic because things have been neglected for eons and now that they have us, they want all their problems fixed like yesterday. 

Thank you for the platform to vent!

AgedOut's picture

I think we, as step-parents, are skipped over when everyone asks how things are going. I like to ask because in the grand scheme of things, Stepparents take the brunt of the crap, get very little sincere thanks and get skipped over way too much. 


I hear you on the Christmas circus. So much goes into it and then it's poof over. 

CLove's picture

And I climbed 2,500 feet! And watched the sunset. And walked 1.5 hours in the dark back down.

Christmas is over. I got a nice little shopping trip for workout clothes, and have been at the gym every other day. Down 4 lbs so far...!

And contemplating new adventures and discussing ways to condition ahead of adventures with Dad.

Getting my teeth bleached...straightening will have to wait a few more months.

Have stopped biting my nails, and am working on growing them out a little. Previously had the gell tips and mandatory appointments every few weeks for filling. 

Looking at new hair colors and hair cuts, for the about to be new me. My hair is natural curly-ish and I am likeing the golden brown, so Ill stay with that for now. Just need to get the grays out at the roots.

Am looking at red light therapy - Ive been reading its REALLY great for health and its available (along with tanning) for an extra 25$ monthly upgrade from my super low gym membership monthy.

Focusing on health and mental clarity and organizing and financial strength. Keeping in touch with my friends and family. Re-establishing my contacts. And as winter turns to spring, Im planning what kind of landscaping I want to do. I love gardening, but do not want to spend a lot of time doing it, just want a privacy hedge and hangout spots here and there.

Im planning some fun little camping trips and hiking trails that are further away and higher.


AgedOut's picture

I like your hair the color it is. It suits you. 

We can be gardening buddies. I'm jonesin for my catalogs to come so I can drool all over the plants and flowers. This year though, I'm putting in lots of lavendar. It's getting to be too difficult to bend and stoop so I want something pretty but not too involved. I have three good sized plants, I want to put it all across the front of the house. No fuss, no muss gardening is my new love!

CajunMom's picture

Such a nice question. One I don't hear often. 

Our Christmas was wonderful with zero drama. Being disengaged and cut off has it's benefits. I enjoyed a month of "fun eating" so got back to walking/jogging and got the holiday weight off. Now working on the last 8-10 pounds. Mentally, I'm also great. Counseling is on hold now as I've pretty much tackled what I needed to. I always know an appointment is a phone call away if I need in the future. While I've been on one hell of a journey these past 5 years (2018), I see 2023 as MY year...and I'm walking into it confident and happy.

Thanks again. It's nice to reflect a little on ME sometimes. You made that happen. Hugs.

AgedOut's picture

Zero drama makes everything brighter and better! I like that you're having the year of you!! You deserve it!

Rags's picture

I'm good.  Working to become a shadow of my former self. Down 40Lbs since the end of June.  I feel so much better than I did.

The holidays were good.  Though I am glad to be past them.

The year has started with some strong positives. My toxic #2 has moved to a new role in another facility, my new #2 is truly outstanding.  The new Ops leadership is making some good changes.

It is nice to not have my morning commute be a 25min increase in anxiety the closer I get to the office.


AgedOut's picture

Those are strong positives. life is stressful enough at necessary times, it's great when work gets with the program too!! 

Well done on the weight loss. Impressive!!

halo1998's picture

Most of the time everyone asks about my kids, my DH, SD, etc.  No one really asks about how I'm doing.  Dh is working on that as he realizes that for many many years he neglected me.  However, right now he is in the midst of a very trying time. 

As far as me..I'm doing ok.  Anxiety has ramped up a bit.  See DH has been laid off for the second time in 2 years.  Now because DH likes to work for start up companies (he is in tech) its always a possibility.  However, its stressfull for all.  Couple this with DH and myself learning new coping strategies,etc its a bit of chaos. 

 So..I'm a bit of a mess with anxiety over the current situation.  DH to his credit has stepped up and been there for me in regards to the anxiety.  That has helped tremendously. I do, however, need to figure out a way to tell the other in my life..that my therapy couch is closed for the time being. I'm full up dealing with my own life.  That is these peeps are very used to dumping on me so that will be interesting in the coming months.

AgedOut's picture

I'm glad he's stepping up and recognizing your needs too. I think our others get so caught up in their own stuff and their kids that they often forget who they turn to to lean on. I'm glad he's doing it for you now too. 

There is not one thing wrong with telling people you need to focus on you right now. I hope that your anxiety wanes as you get it all under control. And remember you don't have to resume being their sounding board. You may decide your office is closed, and you've retired from the advice giving biz. Especially if you find yourself less anxious and stressed when you step back. You matter, and there's nada thing wrong with announcing that!