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AgedOut's picture

It's been a while but my part of NY is under orders to stay inside because of the the smoke from the Canadian fires so I'm b-o-r-e-d and it's been a while since I've done this. 



How are you? 

Just you, not DH, not skiddos, not b-kiddoes, not your MIL, FIL, or any other in-law or out-law. Just Y-O-U


How are you doing? What are you doing? Are you coping okay, .losing you shit, making a plan, scrapping all plans? What's your status if you had to pick one. Are you okay? 



How are YOU? 


ESMOD's picture

Today? I'm just shocked.. got a message very early that the lady that runs my dad's caregiving (she does it with some other ladies).. found her husband had passed away from a heart attack overnight.. he was just 59 years old.. and in seemingly good health.. totally unexpected.

Definitely a reminder to value those we love every day.. and to remember.. life is short.. that means not only don't sweat the small stuff.. but try to keep things in perspective.. and don't live in misery hoping for change.. you may not live to see that change.

AgedOut's picture

59 is young, my age but still young. I can't imagine how she's coping. I agree with you though, whenever possible we have to make those changes, go do those things, enjoy that outing, find our happy because time is fleeting. 

Noway2b1's picture

I'm adjusting to nearly a month of being an empty nester. It's a bittersweet moment. nearly 40 years (young mom) of "kids" in the home, and now not is a very strange feeling for me.  Much needed and yet..... an adjustment to say the least. This kid was with me through one of life's biggest and hardest things I've ever done. Over a decade ago when he was under 10 I left his abusive dad. Life's had it's ups and downs but having my youngest of four boys helped me get through it. We won the step dad lottery though. Despite all his faults as a Disney dad he's been very good to my son and that's what matters. 

I read about the smoke! Just waiting for July/August here and after the wettest year in over a decade expect the same once California fires up. 

AgedOut's picture

I've been an empty nester for many years now and I still feel a little lost at times. It's not easy going from Momming 24/7 to just being yourself. When my last one moved out & got married I felt off balance. Like an appendage was missing. 


The smoke is weird, the sun is red in the sky and we are under a severe air quality warning so my happy ass is trapped in the house. 





Noway2b1's picture

Except I don't like being told what to do so as soon as ordered to stay in I realize all the things I wanted to do in the outside world LOL 

AgedOut's picture

ROFL yup!

DPW's picture

Can confirm. Canadian. Live along the border and we are getting smoked out. Our work building was smoky last night, burning the eyes and throats. We were thankful to find an air purifier to help out. It's quite surreal, the experience but also the visuals of the sky. It's also devastating to the ecosystem. 

I'm in a rut and I'm motivating myself with a "The Time to Shine Again" plan (work in progress). I'm hoping it'll help shape me up and get me out of this rut. My friend is also doing one so we can help motivate each other and hold each other accountable. Fingers crossed... I've got to try something new.

Thanks for asking! You?

AgedOut's picture

my part of NY is Canada adjacent, I'm an hour from falls everyone loves so much. this is so creepy skywise. Like a Stephen King novel. 


I'm glad you are aware you're in a rut and are working towards deruttifying. It's so easy to just sink deeply into it. If you need a cheerleader from time to time, just post and I'll try to squeeze into a the uniform and locate my pompoms. 

DPW's picture

Thank you for the support lol!!! I'll need a pic as proof Wink

I'm more east than you by a few hours and NY is across the "pond". We have a good breeze right now with some drizzle which is helping. I hope it pours and there is some relief for all.

JRI's picture

You are so considerate to ask us poor, down-trodden step-parents how we are.  

I am in recovery.  I had bacterial bronchitis which is almost over.  But I was coughing so hard during it that I somehow injured my back.  So, now I'm on muscle relaxers except it's not getting better very fast.  MRI is Monday at which time I predict they'll find an injured muscle or tendon and recommend physical therapy.

Mr. Florence Nightingale is doing great.  Back in the day, when I had babies and my ex was no help, I thought, "When you have babies, you find out who you married".  Now, I'm thinking, "When you are sick, you find out who you married". 

AgedOut's picture

I'm glad you're on the mend. Bronchitis is a nasty beast. Kudos to your hubby for nursing you back to health. You need to clone him!!

AgedOut's picture

oh no not the stomach bug. I feel so bad for you. Keep pumping in the fluids so you don't dehydrate. 

Feel better soon!!


PetSpoiler's picture

Went to the dentist this morning and had three cavities filled.  One was on bottom, two on top.  My upper lip is finally getting some feeling back in it.  I hate numbing medicine.  My nose was numb too.  The cavity on the bottom was so small that I didn't need numbing, so now I don't have to go back for me until November. 

I'm sitting here trying to decide if I want to try to do a little work in my garden.  It feels like I'm constantly having to get grass and weeds away from my plants so they don't choke them out.  It's especially bothersome where the watermelons are.  I'm going to look into doing things differently next year.  Maybe get some mulch to put out there so I'm not constantly out there with the hoe.  It is a good stress reliever though.  By the time you're done, you're too tired to be mad or stressed.  

So I've been pretty busy with gardening and trying to stay on top of my exercise routine.  My doctor wanted to put me on a statin drug at the end of 2021, and I told him no.  I started exercising again and my cholesterol had gone down but it's still not where it needs to be.  Hoping by the end of this year when I see him again, it will be where it needs to be.  


AgedOut's picture

keep doing the exercises, I got put on a statin and it seems like I'll never get off of it no matter how much the diet changes and the pounds I lost. I swear they just keep us on those and it's all a scam w/ the pharmaceutical companies.. (kidding-ish) 


I have garden envy now. How big is your garden? What're you growing? 



PetSpoiler's picture

It's like my mom says, they don't want to cure anything, they want to manage it.   She probably has doctors baffled because she doesn't take any prescription meds and she is almost 75.  My doctor isn't as bad as some but he has tried to get me on meds. He just doesn't push when I tell him no, which is pretty much every time.   They want everybody on something. 

We've got a pretty good size garden this year.  I'm trying to stay on top of it this year.  It got choked out with grass and weeds last year.  It is a lot for one person to handle.  We're growing tomatoes, cucumbers, bell peppers, squash, okra, potatoes, and watermelons.  

AgedOut's picture

I really am garden jealous. I can't put in a garden because of the poor soil in our yard and the Noah's Ark of critters that somehow live in my neighborhood. Luckily I get my fruit and veggie fix from the outlying areas and the delightful Amish farms and markets. 

CLove's picture

I remember when we here on West Coast could absolutely not go outside because fires. Add to that we were in the COVID lockdown. So REALLY it sucks. Doing the summer east coast rain dance for you right now.

AgedOut's picture

Our air quality is coming down a bit but it hit NYC and they're in bad shape. It's still hard to be outside too long but it only bothers me because of the lung issues I had last Dec. And Rudy's tiny lungs cannot take it yet. 

By the way, thank you for keeping me sane while I was sick. You were a life saver and I really really appreciate you! 

CLove's picture

Well, dealing with relational agression wrt my women-friends. Im in a small town, everyone knows everyone elses bizness. So Im ready for fresh and new. Looking north tbh.

I JUST signed up for a race in october - 10k = 6.2 miles my first day of training was monday. Ive got a training schedule for 3 days/weekly and a 20-week training, including cross-training with weights and learning the value of stretches Biggrin the $$ goes to a favorite charity. I figure that if there is an end-goal then I will be more willing to sacrifice netflix time...

I also JUST signed up for a hiking challenge - 65 miles from now to August 1. I get to have a tree planted in my honor if/when I complete this. I figure this will incentivise me to get out there and do the miles instead of "oh already did this one...I think Ill turn around and only go halfway".


My end-goal is strength, endurance and weight loss. From last weekend's doughnuts and all that good food, I time to work that off and get on the sweat wagon.

Otherwise, things are ok. The gray skies are deterring me from my yardwork (darn!) and that means more for later. aack!

Weekend plans are churning.

AgedOut's picture

I am so flippin proud of you. Look back a year or two and see how far you've come not just physically but also mentally. 

Patience2000's picture

The Step has invited my DH to his son's graduation. I am still shunned for having an opinion about the raising of said son "you've made the same life you always *itched you had (spilt family).....So my DH is in his late 70's, will drive 4 hours one way, go to graduation, pay for the dinner (they only order the best), and Lord only knows the money he will spend, then a night in a hotel...breakfast out that he/we will pay for and then home. So, how am I really? I am angry that I no longer exist after 40 years of making accomadations, and a bit anxious about him going by himself. Step finally got what he wanted, Daddy to himself.

AgedOut's picture

You have the right to be angry. I'd go too and while he's busy w/ his spawn's events, spend the same amount on yourself. Then make the day after an "us" trip for the both of you. Do it up good. Celebrate yourselves as a couple. 

CLove's picture

And while ceremony is happening, schedule a mani pedi hair 'do for enjoying that after trip Biggrin New wardrobe might be necessary, too, with accessories.