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Merry happy Falloweengivingstmas! (interactive thread)

AgedOut's picture

Since we've flown out of Summer and right into Falloweengivingstmas (because of the store have shoved all of them into the front displays just to piss me off.) it's time for my famous 'How the hell are you doing??? thread. 

Remember, not the SKiddos, not the biodes, not the D(orNotsoD)H, not the BMs or the IN-out-laws, not the critters, the coweirdos or the carpoolers, just you ..


How the hell are you doing right now? Are you hanging in there by a thread, so far disengaged that your skiddos look likes ants, contimplating becoming a booze hound, spending all your time praying for whatever one prays for? 


How. The. Hell. Are. YOU ???





CLove's picture

PDG! Im Pretty Darn Great. Things have been improving immeasurably. Im making and reconnecting with lovely women friends. Having fun reconecting with Husband. Went out for reggae sunday and danced. Biggrin Am looking forward to another weekend of dancing. I really miss it.

Over here on Central West Coast, its fall this and fall that. First crush for grapes, apple picking, harvesting of this and that. There is a snap in the air and blue skies that are crystal clear. I am making it outside and to the gymn, cautiously testing my muscles and endurance. Planning on some new challenges and adventures (involving caves and bats oh my!)

Watched a really scary movie last night - the last excorcism, thinking its scary movie month. Yikes! I am thinking tonight its going to be practical magic and candles Biggrin

How are YOU?

AgedOut's picture

I think we've been getting similar weather, but we had a nice warm up this week which meant we caught up on yard chores before the snow falls. Because it will fall, just not sure when or how much. Do you have cemetery halloween walks? We have them and I really enjoy going to them. 

CLove's picture

We have interactive walking tours and history tours. Used to have a ghost tour. But no cemetary H-ween walk!

classyNJ's picture

For always checking in on us :)  How are YOU?

This is my season.  I have all horror movies playing 24 hours a day, much to my DH's dismay, but he knows its coming every year.

I have a full next 2 weeks:  Thursday I have major dental surgery.  I am not an anxious person so I will just say I'm scared poopless.  UGH. 

On top of that, planning my moms 80th surprise party the following weekend.  I love party planning and pretty darn good at it, but the out of staters did not follow directions, so we are having to go to 2 different airports, Philly and AC both at rush hours to pick up the ones that both live within 25 miles of each other in Florida.  Geez.  

After that weekend its a calendar filled with haunted houses, hay rides and Halloween parades.

Tis the Season!

AgedOut's picture

I love old horror movies. The black and white movies where your imagination was the special effect. 

Ew on the dental surgery. I'm not a fan of it either (who is though)  Hoping it's over and you're healing up asap! 

I think it's sweet you're throwing a party for your Mom. You're a good egg. 

I'm all good. Getting older and feeling the aches and pains but I'm still keeping my snark on so it's all good. 



Catmom024's picture

Thinking about relocating to an area that doesn't have OPPRESSIVE humidy, dampness, cloudy, gray skies and rain the majority of the time.    My joints can't take it. 

Winterglow's picture

Come to the south of France - current daily temperatures range from 29-35 degrees Celsius. We're facing a major drought. OTOH, if you want blue skies, we gott'em!

Trust me, you can get sick of blue skies and sunshine when it's relentless. As a Scot, I can hardly believe I just wrote that!

AgedOut's picture

I don't blame you for wanting to go to an area more joint friendly. Getting older is a real bitch isn't it!

Merry's picture

In flux. I retired a month ago and I don't love it. BUT I'm not going to jump into anything else until after the new year. We've got a bucket list trip coming up and I'm focusing on that! DH's health issues are an emotional roller coaster and I'm learning to live with that too. 

AgedOut's picture

Maybe a little holiday volunteering would give you a short term focus for your retirement blues? 

I love a good bucket list. What do you have on your's? I'm retired, someone had to wrangle the eldelry so I did it, but the Mr plans to retire in the next few years and we've started our list too. 

Winterglow's picture

I've been having trouble coming to terms with the fact that my daughter who has Down Syndrome is now building her life in a group home. Don't get me wrong, I am very happy for her, it's just that I had believed that she would always be with us ( and reaching that point was not easy) so my expectations were completely overturned.

Anyway, the home offered me the services of their psychologist. I was very wary - I've had some unpleasant experiences with psychologists. Well, as it turns out, I really liked her! I'm actually looking forward our next appointment.

AgedOut's picture

I'm so glad she's helping you. Remember you've been in protective mom mode for a long time, you're bound to have growing pains with all of this. I think it's perfectly normal to feel like you do, adjusting isn't so easy when you've been working for her all these years. You're going to adjust, it's just going to take time! 

NeverEnough321's picture

I'm having a hard time adjusting to the ebb and flow that comes with stepparenting. I am trying to come to terms with the fact that sometimes doing my best won't always be good enough for others.

I am learning to focus on my own mental health and happiness... it's just going really slow.  

AgedOut's picture

baby steps. just like anything else, you have to cut yourself some slack. It's like fighting a battle you never signed up for. focus on you time, on breathing in the good and letting the bad go out. it's never going to be perfect so don't set yourself up to feel like you're failing. you aren't, you're just finding the right way for you. 

Evil4's picture

I'm doing great. Some shitty dynamics poppped up at work, but thanks to Steptalk teaching me disengagement, the asshole has honed in on others since he realized he doesn't affect me. I'm now watching in amusement, the shit show and I realized that the switch occurred thanks to disengagement. DH had a problem with some of his work folks and I taught him to disengage and he's happier for it. He asked where I learned it from. I did the surprised pikachu face because I didn't want to tell him, "oh, I go to a forum to vent about you and your kids." LOL. Hell, even with them, things are great.

This is my season. We've had heat waves and drought during the summers the last three years despite being on the West Coast on an island. The island is not too far from the US, so I get to celebrate my absolute favourite holiday, Thanksgiving, twice. The upcoming weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving, so I'll get to enjoy that and then in a few weeks, I'll get to either visit US friends or stay home, but still celebrate US Thanksgiving. 

I decorate my house in accordance with the seasons and have my fall decor up. I'm enjoying the rainfall and mist and cooler weather. I dug up my garden and planted the winter stuff. I harvested and froze a ton of apples, plums and stinging nettle. Not many of my other items turned out very well, but that's OK. There are lots of farmers' markets around and the availability of lovely produce is never-ending. 

CLove's picture

Loved on Denman Island for several years. I wished I had visited more often, it was so gorgeous!

Sounds like a wonderful disengagement Biggrin

AgedOut's picture

disengagement .. the gift that keeps on giving!


stinging nettle?? tell me more please. 


We are knee deep in apples, onions, squash and pumpkins right now. I love them all. My part of NY has a lot of apple farms so I go nuts baking all kinds of apple treats. 

PetSpoiler's picture

Doing ok for the most part.  I hurt my big toe last week and I'm not exactly sure how it happened.  I was putting a rug back in place and ended up bending my toe in the process.  It's been bruised and swollen for the past week.  It's feeling a little better though.  All the running around I've had to do has probably not helped.  I chaperoned a football game and a marching band competition this past weekend and that involved a lot of walking.  My daughter is in her senior year of high school and I'm determined to see every single band performance that she's in.  It's also my son's first year of marching band, only year they'll get to march together, so I refuse to miss anything.  It's flying by too fast.  

I'm hoping we get some rain soon.  We may be looking at a drought. We have some pumpkin plants that are not doing that great.  I water them but all plants do better with rain water.  We have one pumpkin currently.  I was hoping to get at least 4 or 5 so I wouldn't have to buy any to carve.  We traditionally go to my mom's every year to carve pumpkins but I don't know if we will this year.  I haven't heard anything yet. 

That being said, this is my favorite time of year.  It's pumpkin this, pumpkin that.  The coffee creamers they sell this time of year are the bomb!  Though I do miss watermelon season.  Out watermelons did great this year and one of my guinea pigs, Princess Popcorn, (not her real name) loves it.  She loves my husband as a result.  He would get some and give all three of them little pieces.  I think he'd give her a little extra.  I don't know if she smelled it or heard him cutting it, but she would start squeaking and going crazy when he did.  She did this one day and my daughter's bedroom door was shut.  The other two were doing it too but she's the watermelon enthusiast.  She's a mess.  A spoiled little mess.  

I'm thinking about coloring my hair again.  I keep getting told that I'd look younger.  It's so much work to maintain though.  I have enough trouble sticking to an exercise routine, which I've had to forgo due to my hurt toe.  

AgedOut's picture

ouch on the big toe. I hope you can get it better soon, it sounds like you're running ragged this year. Senior year is such a busy year. 

I hope you get your rain, pumpkins need to be plumpkins! 

Winterglow's picture

I would get that toe looked at if you can because a week is a long time for a toe to be swollen - could it be broken?

CastleJJ's picture

I'm in a rough season right now. I lost my Grandma a month ago. While she had been struggling with health conditions for a decade, her passing was unexpected. We received news from her physicians that there was nothing further they could do on a Monday and she was gone by Saturday night. I was with her when she passed, it took 4 hours for hospice and the funeral home to come to take her, and I have been struggling with the imagery and trauma of it all ever since. If I have 5 minutes of down time, I picture her body laying there for hours over and over again. My physician is prescribing me a anxiety/depression medication to try to help take the edge off. 

I am also in a rough season of parenting. DD is almost 2 and we have definitely entered the 'terrible twos" stage. She is independent, persistent, stubborn, and demanding. I feel like I don't understand how to communicate with her and when I try to understand her behavior, it ends in a tantrum, which results in hitting, kicking, clawing, and screaming OVER EVERY LITTLE THING. I have read the books, talked to the pediatrician, and sought out support. I have received the same answer from all three, "it is a phase and it took shall pass." So for now, we take everything in stride, which also puts DH and I further into the roommate stage. I swear I don't know how to date my husband anymore. We are friends and coexist, but parenting has taken over every other aspect of our marriage.

I am also in the market for a new job. I currently work in management for a local non-profit in healthcare. The agency is severely mismanaged with a million dollar deficit and our CEO being investigated for sexual misconduct. We are shortstaffed, the daily workload is impossible given the staffing we do have, and I have to keep telling my employees it will get better, despite knowing damn well it won't. I have been putting out applications everywhere but there are hundreds of applicants for every position so I get robo emails stating that due to volume of applicants, I was passed on. I don't know how to break through that wall, but I'm hoping a new opportunity comes soon. 

I am hoping that Fall and Winter bring better days. 

Winterglow's picture

I am so sorry for your loss. Grandmothers are such special people and seeing them go is one of the worst moments in our lives. (((HUGS))) 

This is just a thought but how much time does she spend with other kids (I'm betting on childcare so probably lots)? It's just that I noticed that kids who socialize  lot are often calmer ... possibly because when kids are together they run each other ragged lol.

In any case, I hope for you (and her!) that this phase does pass and that it's sooner rather than later.

CastleJJ's picture

She goes to daycare part time. The daycare staff said they are experiencing some of the same behavior, but that they are experiencing it with all the kids, just that DD is a little more "passionate" in her wants. They said it hasn't gotten to a point yet where intervention is required (getting aggressive toward another kid). 

This kid runs all day, every day, which is totally expected and encouraged. She has a good routine for meals and nap. 

AgedOut's picture

I'm so sorry you lost your Grandmother. What a terrible loss, I'm glad you're getting help in coping. Nothing wrong with that. 


I wish I had kiddo advice but all I can say is "breathe and pick your battles" She's going to rule the roost in her own way. Have you said to your husband what you said here? " I swear I don't know how to date my husband anymore. We are friends and coexist, but parenting has taken over every other aspect of our marriage." He may need to know it's not just him thinking it, it's a starting point. At least you'll be on the same wave length. Two year olds are little terrorists aren't they? I worked day care my entire career. I have zero toddler wrangling advice other than to make sure you see the humor in life, it's important to laugh at the stuff you can't change right now. 

CastleJJ's picture

Thank you. Yes, DH and I have had the "roommate talk" and we are working to resolve it, though that has been a challenge. With all the craziness of parenting DD and the behavior, we are both extra on edge so it's causing issues in our communication. We are both aware and working on that too. 

Rags's picture

The plan was a week with mom and dad, then run up to Mo for my 40th HS reunion, then back to mom and dad for a week, then home to my bride.

Nope. Two days after I got to mom and dad's, a huge hail storm ended the HS reunion leg of the trip before it happened. My car got plowed (2.5 to 1 inch hail) and was not drivable because of broken windshield and windows.  My car is in the ship being treated for SmallPox and getting new glasses.  Dad's truck got hit as well and my parents roof is destroyed.

So, I get extra time with mom and dad.

Had dinner with my Uni BFF last week, and a Bro dinner with my little brother this evening.

So, all good. Except for my poor highly dimpled car which should be back to normal condition in the next week or two.

DW is great, the Skid is great. Mom and dad are great.

Its all good.

AgedOut's picture

Ugh. Hail is nasty. We get one good hail storm a year and it wrecks havoc. 

At least you're getting some mom/dad time, you'll look back some day and be glad you had it. 

Hope your veehickle's up and moving fast soon!

la_dulce_vida's picture

Thanks for asking. I'm doing really well.

My BFF and I have started The Fast Metabolism Diet. We're on day 3 and it's a lot of food. I have another friend who is a week ahead of us and she's lost 7.2 pounds already. Today and tomorrow are the toughest part of the week because it's limited to protein and veggies, every 3 hours! Really hopeful this plan will help me drop up to 20 pounds this month. That'll put a dent in the 40 I've gained since 2019. I blame the pandemic for 15 of it and menopause for the rest.

I live in the foothills of the Appalachian Mtns and it's glorious this time of year. Took 2 of my adult kids with me last week to find pumpkins for the front porch. <3

I'm very happy even if the diet is a bit challenging because of the things I can't have - right now.

Life is good. How are you?

AgedOut's picture

I had to look it up, I'd never heard of it. I'm not sure it's a good fit for us but please keep us updated on how it's working for you!! Can you have squash? brussel sprouts, etc. all in season right now. 

 I bet your view is amazing this time of year. Last year we made it to the Adirondacks area, Old Forge-ish, and spent a weekend in an old inn by a lake near a mountain. It was glorious. I'm a little jealous about your views right now. 


I'm good. Having hip issues so dealing with that. old age, arthritis...meh. 


Cover1W's picture

I have made it through the summer and early fall of the busy season at work. The non-stop emails and deadlines and pressure. Of eating at my desk. Of being very short staffed or staffed with incometence. Today I was not rushed, I took a lunch break and went to a little park for a bit, I walked some in the warm sunshine (a treat as we get into the wet season)!  I may actually not have to rush to my gym class today.

So much less pressure.

DH's older sis and his cousin are arriving Saturday early evening and I have food planned, DH and I will clean the house on Saturday. It should be FUN!  YSD17 will be here only for Saturday night - her loss and NOT my problem!  I have two days off of work next week for them as well and I'm NOT logging in!

AgedOut's picture

your weekend plans sound great! you need a chance to recharge those mental batteries, I'm glad you're getting one!

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

night before last.  I'm 48.  I'm just really feeling my age.  I can not hang with these young kids anymore.  We got an onsite hotel and I got to visit my brother and little baby nephews and niece yesterday before we left Orlando.  I even went to bed at 7 pm last night and I'm still just so sore.  

Next weekend the teens want to go to that anime convention in Jacksonville, Fl.  I don't I don't have them for much longer and we must make the memories but I think I would like a weekend of just staying home! 

Wednesday we did all crawl in my giant king size bed and we watched the Haunted Mansion and ate popcorn and movie candy.  Even Kitty Witty joined us.    

AgedOut's picture

That sounds like so much fun. But I'd probably need a nap after all that too. I've never been to an anime convention. Are the fun? I'd think just parking the ass on a bench and people watching would be worth it.