I've had a tricky and potentially problematic situation arise with my SS12.
We have my SS 50% of the time. I've been in his life since he was 2. He is now a VERY tall 12 year old. My husband and I have an 8 year old son and a 4 year old daughter together.
For a little background, my SS fancies himself as a "gamer." He (in my opinion) spends entirely too much time closed off in his room playing his video games or on his phone. My husband does monitor his devices. He usually can't be bothered and has no interest or very little in his younger siblings. Once in a while he will invite them into his room to watch him play a video game.
Yesterday afternoon he wandered into our living room where my daughter and I were watching tv. He went over to her and started tickling her knees and asking her if she wanted to come up to his room to make some music. I said she could just stay downstairs but she objected and went up with him. I told him to keep his door open. I sat there for a couple of minutes feeling very bothered by this scenario. Is it really normal for a 12 year old boy to want to hang out with a 4 year old girl? So I figured I had some laundry to put away so would go upstairs and keep an eye open. When I got upstairs the door to his room while not latched was nearly closed. I opened the door and the room was DARK. The only light was coming from these colored fairy lights he has on the ceiling. My daughter was sitting on his bed and he was in a chair facing her. He said they were making music. I reiterated that the door needed to stay open. He came into the other room a few minutes later to play me a "song" my daughter made, and then a few minutes after that she left his room and he closed the door behind her.
This whole situation made me very uncomfortable. As in, raised the hairs on the back of my neck uncomfortable. Now, I am not accusing this child of anything and thank God my daughter is not showing any signs that anything inappropriate has happened to her, but I do not like this. Am I wrong to think this is completely inappropriate??
I need to figure out a tactful way to tell my husband. He isn't the type to feel angry but I worry he may think I'm overreacting. I want him to have a talk with my SS about why this is inappropriate and that it will not happen again.