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I Don't Like Saying I Hate Someone...

not your momma's picture

...but I really fucking hate SO's 20 year old.

Ironically enough, the 16 year old is showing more respect to me now than he ever has (all without speaking to me or acknowledging my existence). But the 20 year old...

Even his younger brother is telling him to grow the fuck up.

His favorite thing to do when I'm around is blast his music. SO and I built him a room downstairs so that we could use his old room for SO's daughter, who we have EOWE. At 14, I pointed out that she REALLY needed her own personal space. So we built a new room. And it's awesome. And it's right underneath the living room. And I TOLD SO that we needed to put insulation in the ceiling because the 20 year old is notorious for blasting his music. This was a major issue when he was upstairs, because his closet wall shared a wall with our room and it used to keep me up at night. And he would throw a fit when asked to turn it down.

But now? I can't even sit in the living room. It will be completely silent from his room, and he'll come upstairs to use the bathroom. As soon as he sees me sitting on the couch, the SECOND he gets back in his room, the music is so loud that I can hear the lyrics, and the bass is so high that my degrees are shaking on the wall.

And what does SO do? No, you guessed it. Absolutely nothing. I saw a sign at Walmart today that said, "Balls $2.50," and told SO that we could get him a set. This shit right here? This is why. Because he doesn't have the cojones to stand up to his fucking son and tell him that this shit is inappropriate.

His excuse for not saying anything? If he does, the 20 year old will know it came from me and it will make things worse. Understandable, but still crap.

I was not even remotely joking when I told SO that if the 20 year old didn't knock it the fuck off, I was going to cut the power to his room. I will find the damn line directly to his room and I will cut the fucking power.

::breathes::

Okay, I feel mildly better.

Comments

JustTheGirlfriend's picture

I have a 21 year old son that still lives in my home with me and my SO.

Kiddo likes to crank the music downstairs (in the family room directly below the living room where we usually are) late in the evening when he gets home from work. We are usually just winding down & ready to go to bed. He likes EDM - Electronic Dance Music....so the bass is deep & bumping, and it sounds like there is a rave going on down below us.

After asking him nicely a few times without change, we started CRANKING opera or classical music very early in the morning when we are up getting ready for work and the sun-avoiding-vampire-child is just starting to get his sleep.

It only took a couple of times before peace was restored to our kingdom.

Send a message....and send it LOUDLY.... Wink

not your momma's picture

Yeah, I've done that a few times with country music and he doesn't care. He's not doing it because he likes it loud (though he does). He's doing it because he knows it bothers me. Even when I don't react and sit out there through it all, he still does it.

Onefootout's picture

I was going to suggest ripping out the stereo but your idea of cutting the power is even better. Your SO will never do anything, unfortunately you'll have to be the one with cajones. And just remind SO that he is putting his son's hostile and disrespectful behavior (directed towards you) before your rights as lady of the house.

Oh and another thing he's full of shit when he excuses his failure to parent by saying his son will know it came from you. I don't believe that for a minute. All he's worried about is his son might direct his hostility towards him instead of you. Protecting you my ass.

Next time he tries to say he's not parenting in order to protect you from getting blamed, call his bluff. Fine, let the kid blame you, who cares, no love lost, right? Watch him flounder trying to come up with another excuse.

Sorry you have to out up with this. I would be in a purple rage by now.

not your momma's picture

oh, I KNOW he's full of shit. Even better, HE knows he's full of shit. I've talked to him so many times about why he doesn't step up. Nothing but excuses. The real reason is that he's afraid he'll lose his son for good (which will happen anyway).

I need to figure out a way to cut his power when he won't come charging out of his room to figure out what's going on (the box and his room are not that far apart). Perhaps this weekend, when he goes with his mom...

Eventually, this kid is going to leave. Quite honestly, I refuse to give him the satisfaction of leaving until he does.

twoviewpoints's picture

So how come Jr. has so much free time with nothing better to do than annoy his SM? Doesn't brat boy have a job he should be at?

not your momma's picture

Jr. got fired from his job in April 2012 because he can't follow a simple rule (card anyone who looks under 30 for cigarettes). And he sat around for almost a year before even looking. He got a job at his mom's work, but that didn't last too long because both parents gave him permission to quit if he got his GED. So he did.

Then he got another job at his best friend's job, which he quit after 2 weeks because he, and I quote, "can't do manual labor."

SO finally put his foot down and said he needs to start looking seriously or he needs to enlist in the military. Or, he says he put his foot down.

The kid is planning on joining Job Corps, which I think will be great for him. However, I'd bet $100 that he quits after 2 weeks because he can't bring his computer, he'll have to share a room and he won't be able to take 45 minute showers anymore.