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SDs chaperone is at it again

SeeYouNever's picture

SD15 starts school this week so BM allowed DH to get her for the back-to-school-shopathon for clothes and shoes. This is an annoying yet expected experience every year

My meddlesome SIL tagged along for the shopping spree because of course. DH was on the way to pick up SD15 and SIL informed him she got her already. We had no idea SIL even knew DH was getting SD.

SIL makes it too many people to fit in one car so she and SD drive separately. God forbid DH and our family would get any time with SD without SILs supervision.

I don't know what he spent because I am logged out of his banking and I need to ask him for the password. I'm estimating around $1000. She got 4 pairs of shoes and tons of clothes. It was like she opened up TikTok and made DH buy everything that was trending that day. SIL was the shopping buddy and DH just helped me wrangle our toddlers while he waited for the total.

The kicker of the day was when we first met up we were getting the diaper bag out of our car SD15 saw my work bag which is Coach and was almost $500. I bought it myself and it is far and away the most expensive bag I own and I intend to use it forever!  She says "is that for me?" And then does a fake pout when we say no. SIL pipes up that there is a coach store in this mall. Thankfully DH said no.

I pretty much ignored SIL because every time I tried to interact with SD she was always inserting herself or hovering. I had to tell her "I asked SD" when she tried to answer for her. She know I don't abide her sh*t but I was not about to cause a scene.

After everyone went back to their places I told DH I wish he would tell off SIL and get her out of the middle. Why does she always have to be there when we have SD? He said she just wants to see SD too and was trying to help. Help? She acts like we can't be alone with SD. When is the last time you got to spend time with SD without her? She might as well be your other child. DH said this will be different when SD gets a car and can drive herself. I said I remember how you thought everything would be different when SD got her own phone and you didn't have to go through BM. How has that worked out?



lieutenant_dad's picture

Hindsight is 20/20, but the perfect response to SIL's Coach store comment would have been:

"Wow SIL, that's awfully generous of you to buy SD a Coach bag while you're shopping with her today!"

Also, I'd make this the last shopping fiasco you go out on. Not your money, not your kid, not your sister. Seems like the perfect day to chill with the toddlers at home, or at the park, or wherever you see fit.

SeeYouNever's picture

M DH have a very quick "no" but I definitely thought of the same response as we were leaving d'oh!

There is nothing more I'd want to do than stay out of it but SD said she wanted to see our toddlers and DH wanted us to come so we came along.

halo1998's picture

I would have responded to the purse question.


I don't know SIL...did you spit out a kid for DH out of your crotch...No...well then I guess its not for you. Go buy your own damn coach bag.

I don't how you do filter would have left long ago on.    You have way more patients than I would.

And yep..problem really isn't SIL..but your DH.  However, I think you know that.  Smile

SeeYouNever's picture

SIL is a problem and DH doesn't do anything about the problem so therefore he is also a problem!

Very much in line with that "keeping the peace" thread.

JRI's picture

I'm flashing back to when SD60's youngest was starting a new year at college, maybe it was the first one.  SD asked us to go along with them to a local store that carried a big selection of premium purses before we had a "Bye, see you later" dinner.  I dodnt undrrsrand what was happening til we got in the store and SGD started gushing over the purses and mentioning how "everyone" had one.  I looked at the price tag and thought, no way.  Luckily, DH is sort of oblivious to shopping nuances and didnt respond.

So, then we went to dinner and SGD discussed the advantages of joining a sorority, how much fun it would be and how she sadly couldn't afford it. DH was looking weak and might have made a few positive comments but we somehow got out of there without any commitment.

The good news is that SGD graduated from a local university after 2 years paying room and board elsewhere. She's now a teacher.



Exjuliemccoy's picture

Your DH kills me. He's doing exactly what mine did, taking the path of least resistence and allowing his sister to marginalize him. She's actually coming BETWEEN him and his daughter. I'd be very surprised if he has much of a relationship with her once she's an adult.

SeeYouNever's picture

I'm calling it now that he won't. He barely has one now. I don't think SD hates him and she is always pleasant with us but the very superficial relationship and I don't think it's going to get any better.

CLove's picture

Can you buy me one too?

OMG. Glad you were able to deflect that one.

AlmostGone834's picture

Who has this much money??? 1k on school clothes for one year?? That is insane to me. 1 pair of shoes and few outfits from the cheap stores is what I got back in the 90s. 

SeeYouNever's picture

I wish DH was my daddy!

Things do cost a lot more here and since and BM SD do not Grant DH the privilege of taking SD shopping very often he feels the need to go overboard