I don’t want our family life suspended to SS every wants & needs
Since the day BM decided that SS is old and mature enough to take his own decisions i'm worried about the future.
As BM didn't reply last DH message yet, and because DH doesn't have any plans except seeing a lawyer next week, i'm wondering.
I'm thinking about the worst situation : BM keeps sending SS when HE wants. Because i'm not sure she will cut ties with DH, just because of how jealous she is, and how funny it will be for her to send SS when she knows we don't have options. Just to say DH how a bad parent he is.
What will look likes my family live if it's SS who decides if he wants and when he wants to come at last minute ?
We are working, only 5 weeks/years of vacations and have a toddler. We need to make planning, for example for my DS kindergarden we need to book the days off mant months before ! And for SS center activity it's the same, if he decides to come when we work, we have no option except letting him go there, BUT we need to book the days weeks before.
What about our family organisation ?
I have an idea to try to put an order in all this mess. What about sending SS invitations ?
For example: we decide in advance which weeks or weekends of the year we could take him without complication (no bookings needed) and which of them will be more convenient.
Then, for example 2 weeks before the period, we suggest him the idea and ask if he wants to come. If yes = ok it's fine we are available. If no = it will be holidays for me.
That way, we will play BM game of "SS decides and knows what's best for him", and maybe DH could continue seeing his son.
If SS is ok, it's great, and if not, when he will be an adultd, he won't be able to say "my father gave up on me" but only "i decided not seeing my father anymore because it was more convenient for me"
What thinking of this idea ?