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Does anyone have a DH that only cleans when the Skids are visiting?

SeeYouNever's picture

Submitted by SeeYouNever on Thu, 08/12/2021 - 10:45am

Ok  that's an exaggeration, DH does clean on occasion, but he cleans a whole lot more when we are expecting SD. What would be ideal is if he went on his cleaning spree after she left!

We have other people over pretty regularly and he doesn't clean when they are coming. When were expecting SD he also starts to get very short with me like however clean the house is normally is suddenly not acceptable and it's definitely my fault. 

He gets so anxious and jittery like he has to impress SD 14 every time she comes over. And he wonders why I don't enjoy visitation time. He cleans more for her than any other guests that come to our house. I know it's more about his nervous energy than impressing her because my DH cleans when he gets anxious. However he gets mad at me for things that he decides are not up to the standard when SD is visiting that normally he doesn't care about. 

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missgingersnap2021's picture

Submitted by missgingersnap2021 on Thu, 08/12/2021 - 11:00am

My DH doesnt clean before SD16 (one month away from 17) gets here but he used to clean for her which drove me crazy!! He would make her bed on the days she slept over, do her laundry,empty her trash, scrub her toilet (our hall bathroom is basically her own personal bathroom). We had actual fights when I tried to get him to stop doing these things. I also had to work on one of them at a time. He has finally stopped thank God! I am all for doing things for little kids but when we got married she was 10. It took almost a year for him to stop making her bed. He finally stopped doing the rest of the things about a year ago.

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Thu, 08/12/2021 - 11:02am

Does he really think a 14 yr old will notice if the place is clean or not?  I wouldn't have noticed at that age.  I agree it can indicate anxiety. 

classyNJ's picture

Submitted by classyNJ on Thu, 08/12/2021 - 11:21am

When they were younger he would have them do it as soon as they came in.  Trash, recycles, cleaning their rooms and sweeping.

He does help me clean when SS23 GF comes to spend the weekend.

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Thu, 08/12/2021 - 1:11pm

No, DH doesn't clean when his kids come over.  It'd  be pointless - they don't care if things aren't spotless, and they'll be contributing to the mess right away anyhow.  He's more likely to clean when others are coming over.  BM is a clean freak and puts us to shame in that department, so he couldn't impress his kids with his cleaning prowess even if he tried.

ImFreeAtLast's picture

Submitted by ImFreeAtLast on Thu, 08/12/2021 - 2:23pm

Not that I had noticed but if my DH was taking out his frustration on me I would have a huge issue with that.

superlado's picture

Submitted by superlado on Thu, 08/12/2021 - 10:17pm

Whatever let him clean. My SO is a slob so I'll take whatever cleaning I can get.  But the snappiness. No way.  Screw that.  I'd be leaving the day before she came or having very very busy plans, because I'd snap back harder.   

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Fri, 08/13/2021 - 2:46am

When he could complains that things aren't up to the standard he requires, just tell him that it would be if he pulled his weight around the house the rest of the time.