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Feeling alone

sharlyns's picture

Why is it the moment life throws me a bone. I'm resented for it???


sharlyns's picture

I been battling depression I finally came out of my comfort zone to help my self esteem.  I went to a Woman's in business mtg. People saw potential in me. I was ecstatic! I came back to tell my boyfriend. I was so full of energy! And Bam! No words! No encouragement! He was upset because  I didn't think his son needed pizza. I left a whole meal for him..why we need to spend money we don't have on treats for a unappreciative child??? I spent my last $10 on gas?? I cried all night..feeling worthlessness and anger. I was proud of myself now....idk what to think.

justmakingthebest's picture

Well, it is pretty obvious to me what you need to do. Leave. Leave him and find yourself and your strength again. You should have a life you are proud of and not be hindered by a jerk who is unsupportive! 

BethAnne's picture

Sadly a lot people do not know how to be happy for someone else's good fortune. They just feel jealous and look for reasons why the "good luck" was not deserved or why they would have been more deserving. All you can do is press on and try to ignore those that resent you. 

sharlyns's picture

I see that. I guess maybe I expected too much. But he knows my battles especially with my depression and low self esteem. I thought he would at least say good job or km proud of you. Something....I'm back to square one. I cried myself to sleep. 

ExcellenceToolkit's picture

Typical behavior from a stepfamily towards the stepmother. They love scapegoating, blaming and demonizing the stepmother. You bend over backwards for them and they still find something to blame you for and complain about how awful you are. I could start complaining about them and how vile they are but do I, nope because that would hurt them. I just come on here to complain about them. They don't humanize us and recognize that we have feelings. Stop doing things for them. That kids father needs to step up and get his kid his pizza for Pete's sake you have other more important things to worry about. 

sharlyns's picture

So true..that's what I feel..I'm human to! My heart is life I thought would be better after I left my abusive husband. Of 19yrs. I'm losing faith. But I have no where to go. I left everything behind in my last marriage.  So no money  no car no friends..just me and my pencil. I write. But now????but really thank you! You words help

Iamwoman's picture

First of all, congratulations on gathering the confidence and energy to attend this meeting, and on the positive feedback you received for the great impression you obviously made!

Do NOT share any good news with your BF again. He is obviously not a good support system for you. 

Do go to another one of those meetings. Take notes and make progress towards a career. Make a friend from the group. That way, you and your friend who is in the same group for the same reason, can encourage and support one another.

You may need to be ok with outgrowing your BF and possibly ending the relationship down the road.

Him worrying about how you care for HIS child is out of line regardless of whether you had a good day or a bad day.