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So what does this mean?

bedazzled's picture

So got a email from the couselor that DH and I went to. She says that she has some unexpected changes to her schedule and availability and won’t be able to see you both for therapy. 

Sounds fishy to me. If she doesn’t think we are a fit for her just say so!!! Sounds like she is honest anyway.

susanm's picture

It means that you dodged a bullet.  A counselor who has no interest in seeing you is not going to be a good fit.  And one that was picked by your DH from the church, when he previously picked one who gave him a hall pass to continue letting the skids run the house, was not exactly going to help you anyway.  Start looking for someone who specializes in blended families and is not going to automatically side with the poor abused children of divorce.

tog redux's picture

Or she's working fewer hours for some reason and has to pare down her caseload. Someone has to go - you've been chosen, might be for a variety of reasons: she thinks you could easily be seen by someone else, you haven't been seeing her as long as other patients, your issues aren't as severe.

I would not assume it's personal.  Therapists are people, too, and they have life changes, medical issues, etc, like everyone else.

bedazzled's picture

I think that it is almost impossible to find a couselor these days. This woman was 40 and COD who has issues with her stepmother. They always want to blame the SM.  I don’t think that will ever change, society blaming the SM. What happened to anyone taking responsibility for their actions? What happened to husbands who stand up for their wives? How did just because someone is you kid that they have a free pass to abuse and harass your spouse? This generation is so F&&ked up. If anyone had treated my grandmother like this my grandfather should have gone nuts on them. Same with my father. 

I raised both my sons to stand up for their SO’s or wives. Even against me. It is crazy and sad how these people give their children such power over their lives. No wonder the divorce rate keeps climbing and climbing. 

When you put the children first even if the marriage stays together it is really no more than a roommate relationship. 

Every successful marriage that I see around me that the couple really is a bonded strong couple. They have each other’s backs and do not allow anyone to disrespect their spouse. I think the people around them then also have respect for their marriages.

i really think that today’s society does not put high value on marriage. 

susanm's picture

Slightly off topic but, speaking of entitled children with a free pass, did you see the video of the kids in Senator Diane Feinstein's office?  They were literally yelling at her about how she has to believe in climate change which was ridiculous considering that she is one of the most liberal senators.  But she is being roundly condemned because she told them "I will listen to what you have to say but you can't come in here and tell me it is my way or the highway - I don't respond to that."  God forbid someone tell a kid that they can't lecture adults!   Sure, I will take marching orders from a 9 year old.  (facepalm)

bedazzled's picture

I have not seen that. My kids generation late 20’s - 30’S are such an entitled generation. That I can’t even image what their generations children will be like. Have 100’s of pictures of them on the internet, Therir every moment being documented and shared with the world. Gender  reveal parties, showers for every child, not just the first one. Multiple catered birthday parties. Waiting lists to get into the finest preschools etc. a fertile breeding ground for a generation of super narcissists. We think this generation is bad just wait!!!

ldvilen's picture

I couldn't agree with you more.  I know every generation seems to think the one or two below it are schmucks.  But, in the words of one of my friends, this feels different.  I get that my grand-parents probably thought we were spoiled simply because we didn't get spanked every time we "talked back" to our parents.   But, this ongoing trend of child worship is going to have some long-ranging consequences, the least of which is lack of empathy.  

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

I saw that.  I cannot even imagine me, or my DD ever acting that way.....yelling at an adult!  Goes to show how far down here the parenting skills have gone these days.  This is all the result of wanting to be friends with your children (when they are young and even teenagers.  That comes when they get out on their own)  Participation trophys etc.

Off topic too, I look at that young representative AOC (I'm having a senior moment and can't remember her long name).  It is obvious that, though she majored in economics (or so I understand) she doesn't have a clue.  BUT I'll give her an A++ for selfesteem.  Seems schools and colleges push that more than learning these days instead of common sense and self sufficiency..

bedazzled's picture

You are right. Parents that want to be their children’s best friends instead of parent. These kids never hear the word No. It might hurt their feelings. 

You are also correct that AOC does have a lot of self esteem. I think common sense is in very short supply now days. So is the golden rule. 

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

When she was in high school DD, in wanting to do something, or wanting something I said no to, would come at me about how this is a Democracy.  I would just laugh and tell her that I run a dictatorship as long as I am paying all the bills.  Oh would she go pout over that.  But, she got over it now that she is much older with children of her own.

Told me once she has used the same line with her daughter.

 

bedazzled's picture

You are right. Parents that want to be their children’s best friends instead of parent. These kids never hear the word No. It might hurt their feelings. 

You are also correct that AOC does have a lot of self esteem. I think common sense is in very short supply now days. So is the golden rule. 

SacrificialLamb's picture

Make sure you find a therapist who understands boundaries.  You don't accept poor behavior from anyone.