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Grades Don't Matter! Parenting Doesn't Matter! Bad Kids Come From Good Parents/Homes!

Auteur's picture

And MANY MANY more!!

GG and I got into an argument yet again on Saturday. And I practiced my "bordeline personality comebacks" (props to Vickmeister)
But the bottom line is as stated in the title of this blog. . . the world according to GG.

As a full fledged member of the Sarah Winchester club (you know, the chick that kept having her house remodeled over and over again due to "evil spirits?") I came to have it reinforced upon me that GG will never cease remodeling the house I bought (to be closer to HIS kids)--TM--because deep down he knows that once the remodeling stops, so does his "usefulness" and there goes his MEAL TICKET.

He brought up on Saturday that he wants to rip out what just was done with the driveway and covert pipes to build a "swail/pond" which is what he paid this other dude to do ($1500) but he hasn't done yet. Of course, foolish GG who is SOOOOO experienced in the trades, paid the dude the entire $1500 with the job half done. Now EVERYONE knows that you SHOULDN'T do this, but he gaslighted me into thinking that I and the rest of the world are CRAZY for NOT paying the whole thing upfront. :sick:

I told him under no circumstances do I want work that was just done uprooted and done over differently and that we need to keep working with what we have to get a finished product.

Of course GG flew into a rage because his meal ticket is threatened and then somehow (of course) it got onto the subject of the SKIDS!!

During the course of the "conversation" GG reiterated that:

1. He is FINE with the way the Behemoth non-parents the skids and I should butt out
2. I am "nothing" but "his partner" so keep my nose out of his kids
3. He will re-establish a relationship with them when they are "older"
4. He was offended that I bought Joy Berry books for his kids (my kids are GOOD kids and their manners are FINE. . .this from a man who gets blasted with an announcement to please watch kids while in the store every store we walked into when accompanied by his hooligans)
5. He still remembers the "diet coke" incident with Prince Hygiene and that I was "mean" to him for taking away a diet coke that PH REFUSED to put away and that his dad told him not to have and get root beer instead.
6. He still remembers that I "walked into PH's room" without knocking and turned the TV off (at almost 11 pm with blaring Anime on and a groggy PH staring into it like a zombie)
7. He still remembers when HE told VD to wash the windows and she ended up playing with the hose instead, therefore the nerve of me to wash the windows myself and mumble "so much for that."

Because he "talked" to his kids and because of 4-7 above, apparently I am "mean" and caused most of the PASing out of his kids, not the Behemoth. Oh and he will NEVER leave the house because he has put "too much work into it."

He swears UP and DOWN that he can afford the mortgage if I move out. Funny since he brings home $800 a month and the mortgage is $814 a month, yet in the same breath he says he can't afford to get a mortgage on his own. (insert massive eye roll avatar) So I'm supposed to just walk away and TRUST that he'll pay the mortgage as a tenant. Yeah right.

So my exit plan continues, I am throwing more money at the mortgage so that I can pay it off and get my name off the damn thing; eventually selling it to someone else who wants a tenant.

Comments

DeeDeeTX's picture

I have no idea how you stay with this person. I know you've explained before, but being treated with such constant disrespect would cause me to move on, financial hit be damned.

Auteur's picture

well i'm going to be 52 and starting over again after 12 years from a bankruptcy in 2001/2002 is not my idea of excellence. I need to think about my finances in my old age.

alwaysanxious's picture

I completely understand. My mom was in this situation. My mom at 53 had enough of my lazy, abusive alcoholic father and left. She was so upset and nervous because she was worried about her credit and he wouldn't leave.

So, one day, she'd had enough. She got some things together and came to my house. She wouldn't speak to him. He showed up at my house the next day. She told him its over and he needs to figure out what he's going to do. This man did not work, he's 55 years old and was living off my mom. Luckily, I was nearby and she lived with me for 2 months before I "gently" pushed her to her own apartment. In the meantime, that man stayed in the house all the while my mom got a realtor to do a short sale. It too 5 months, but it was gone. yes she lost money, but it was off her credit and no more payments. My dad eventually moved to the backyard and lived outside for a while, then he found others to mooch off of.

I know where you are coming from. I've experienced it.

Oh and I might as well had been my father's stepchild. We were never close and I was always a hinderance to his relationship with my mom. He hated when we did things together. Even at 32 if I came home to visit from out of state, she couldn't go out with me for very long because he wanted her at home with him.

WickedSMom's picture

I can see why you would be concerned over finances but you can also look at this from two ( or more) perspectives. One, your health. You obviously are not getting any younger..none of us are lol...and health needs to be a priority for you. Stress can and will take its toll physically if left untreated. Its the same or worse than any other illness, untreated it will only get worse.

Two, you are ONLY 52!! With many years ahead of yourself to plan and get yourself on track financially. Your writing makes you appear smart and stable and able to take care of yourself. So do it. Take care of you.

Willow2010's picture

How on earth do you end up in a fight about kids that you have not seen in months and months? That is crazy.

Auteur's picture

He said "I bought this house for my kids"

HE didn't buy it, I did. He claims he filed bankrupcty to help ME out b/c at the time I was paying ALL his financial bills and marital debts since he was giving it all his salary to the Behemoth out of sheer guilt. So basically taking away his bills from me was helping me out (coo coo)

And so by helping ME by claiming bankruptcy and taking away most of the bills that the Behemoth LEFT him with (and in which he would NOT get an attorney to defend his rights b/c it "might upset the kids." (TM) that was a gift to ME and therefore he COULDN'T get a mortgage in his name. He let her have the entire house and it's proceeds, but glossed over that**

**see "specious reasoning" and "circular logic"

Auteur's picture

No but I'd be willing to throw him a third to get him out of my hair. Which is a third more generous than the Behemoth was with him.

thefunmommy's picture

52's not too old to start over! My mother just got remarried 1.5 years ago and she was 52. Totally doable, and as far as finances go... my mom's doing just fine, and she's never been great with money... she likes shoes too much Blum 3

skylarksms's picture

^^^THIS^^^

DaizyDuke's picture

I am "nothing" but "his partner" so keep my nose out of his kids

I HATE this line of thinking with these freaking idiots.... Now if you were telling GG what wonderful, marvelous, stellar, spectacular kids he had and what an awesome job he did of raising them I bet he wouldn't tell you to butt out right???

But when you point out the ugly truth, or imply discipline for crappy behavior, then you are over stepping and mean and need to butt out.

I HATE the double standard crap!

Auteur's picture

You and Foxie are right! It's so awkward though. Here Awesomeson is doing great in the A/F and I have his mail coming to the house. I can't stand the thought of being uprooted because of a guilty daddy and his mealy mouthed brat baggage.