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so bad I want my new Husband to leave

latekate's picture

Firstly I came here a year ago and had no idea of the level of support here so would just like to sat thanks to anyone who reads this or comments.

In short, mother of 2 girls, divorced 8 yrs, met my current Husband 5 yrs ago and we married a year ago, he has a step kid from ex and bio child from ex too...they both stay alternate wk ends. Fair to mention at this stage that MIL thinks the sun shines out of ex's behind when actually she is a lazy waste of space with no values and is dragging up 3 kids from 3 fathers (not that I am against different fathers - she trapped every one of them on a 1 night stand for ££££ and feel sorry for them all) I am a qualified counsellor and a childcare professional of 20+ yrs, work 65 hrs per week and run a successful business.

Things are bad - my DH slates his ex saying she is a bad mother etc etc, has even gone to a national newspaper naming her in a drug case which happened at his kids school for age 4-11 yr olds, the kids are ghost like in body and soul and have no social skills. I struggle with them because they ignore me from the time they step through my door, won't eat or look at me etc...used to it now after 5 yrs. The thing is he left his phone here last week by accident and I looked at his text message history (long story - a few wks ago we took his kids camping and his kids arrived infested in head lice with no hair brush packed, all clothes packed were still wet and their bedding was infested with cat fleas and cat hair balls - too gross to go into detail) back to the texts - one of his texts said how wonderful she was as a Mother and how much she must love her kids, her reply was similar and replied ditto..etc etc. In the text history she blames me for his gripes with her and says I forced him to send the complaints and she knows deep down it would never be him. It seems like my DH is being totally 2 faced and I really don't know how to deal with it, we have no kids here this wk end and I have basically told him to leave and go back to her. She seems to dominate his life, she used to call him to take her places and bring food to her when we first met and then he asked me not to go to a family party (he was living with me) because his ex was going and she knew all his family whilst I didn't, he used to take her to work with me in his car and the whole thing is just insane when I look back on it. I even had to put a deadline on him divorcing her and he refused to do it until the day before... he would have had to find a new home and mug if he didn't so it was under protest.

His ex divorced him but wants to keep him really close and he totally buys into it, as does his entire family who won't even talk to me unless they want something...usually money. I can't go on with this, I love him but can't deal with disloyalty.


unika32's picture

PLatekate seems like you've been dealt a poor hand of cards. My prayers go out to you as you seek peace and solice in the home. Betrayal is the ultimate deal breaker for me so good luck.

helen17's picture

So sorry, how unfair. You place your love and trust in a man and he does look back on things and think why did I let that go, and before you know it you find yourself in a place you know you're not happy in. Have you told him about the texts? I've been there re divorce, in the end he admitted he was just being stubborn and didn't think it was that important. I still question whether thats the actions of a man in love hmmmm, prob not and yet here I still am. Hugs to you, I think you need to have a think about where you want to go from here. Is he a pushover with her-is it easier for him to back down to her? Am thinking of you and know EXACTLY how you must be feeling xx