Hey Dad can you buy me a car?
SS20 called DH last night. He is all proud that he has a job. A real one. Not under the table or only part time or when needed. WOW Good for you! You are 20 years old and finally have a job.
Of course he asks DH if he can have DH's old car (that is just sitting in the driveway but is a true junker. It's more there for something for DH to play with)or if DH can help him with buying a car.
WTF- we aren't rich, you have been on "your own" for over a year. Why do you think we will help you with a car?
MSD18 already tried a couple months ago to get DH to give her the junker car, or money for a car or co-sign for a $5000 car. NOPE.
Of course DH is like "umm, well, ummm, I dont know... I will have to see what I can do... ummmm MSD called wanting the same thing and she has a baby...ummmmm.... I wish I could buy all of you cars..."
OKAY DH- You wanna buy cars for everyone- how about you get a better paying job? Or how about the kids EARNING the car. Or buying their own damn car. Or coming up with half of the funds.
How about you are $5000 in back CS(not really his fault but still) and until that is paid off that will fuck with my taxes every year. Oh and how about the $2500 I took out of my 401K to help you get a vehicle and I am still paying that back. So until you can come up with $7,500 to pay back the outstanding debts you have right now, I dont think us purchasing any vehicle for kids that can only call you when THEY NEED SOMETHING is in the future.
BM and DH bought OSD(21) a car when she was still in HS. OSD did not take care of that car. She traded that car with another car from a "friend" and never got the plates changed. Plates were reported as stolen. The car got inpounded. How much did OSD care about that car? Hmmmm enough to leave it in inpound and never get it out. But because OSD got a car, now each kid thinks they get a car.
Freakin entitled brats......
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I dont really think that DH
I dont really think that DH owes SS a car- 2 years after he has graduated HS. Or the fact that he is finally working- can he even maintain a car. Or the fact that SS didn't even have his liscence for the past 2 years because he wrecked DH's car (that he was driving) while he was high and hit someone driving a rental car. That is why I am kind of "surprised" that SS even asked DH. DH had intentions of buying SS a car when he graduated but instead he wrecked DH's car. He proved that he is careless and doesn't deserve the gift of a car.
MSD- now I told DH we could match her in funds to a certain amount- because #1 she is still in HS and she has a baby and she is for the most part responsible. No she doesn't want a "junker" she wants DH to co-sign on a $5000 car. Not going to happen.
I never expected or even hoped my mom would buy me a car. I knew the finanical deal. The skids know the finanical deal. I guess it just boggles my mind they are asking for some expensive amounts, when they aren't even holding down jobs or proving they are responsible enough to have us hand them over say $2000 towards a car. Nor do they call DH for anything other then money, cars, gifts, etc. So that is where I am saying they are entitled.
Does this one thing make me think of them as entitled brats? No, it's the long list of things they do.
But you are right, most kids hope that their parents will help them with a car, and most parents want to help them. And there is nothing wrong with that.
It's not just because they are MY step kids that I am mad about it. I plan on doing the same offer to my own BS when the time comes as we made to MSD. We will give you half up to a certain amount as long as you are working to where we know that you can maintain the car and hold insurance.
ETA- I know in my original post I said "NOPE" about MSD asking about a car. I didnt include the detail about MSD in the original post but included it in this one. We didnt flat out tell her no as it may look in the original post. I just left out detail since I wasn't really talking about her and the car, it was more about SS. Just to clarify.
We've bought SD18 not one,
We've bought SD18 not one, but two cars.
DH bought SD-then-17 a $3k junker because he was working 13 hours a day and she was taking a cello back and forth to school - which the bus driver banned from the bus. So she was driving his fully loaded 2-yr-old Jeep and he was riding his bike. So I told him to go get a junker because it was more to his benefit than hers.
Of course, he leapt before he looked, and bought a lemon that he immediately had to pour a lot more money into. Over Christmas, while I was driving it, it got a flat tire AND had a major transmission and oil leak. So I declared that I would do the buying - so I got a newer junker with less than half the miles and no issues upon inspection. She'll keep that until she finishes college or buys her own; we're done buying her vehicles.
That lemon also had the effect of sending DH into a rage every time he looked at it, because it reminded him of his bad decision. So getting something that wouldn't trigger bad feelings was a bonus.
I honestly have no problem
I honestly have no problem with DH give the junker care ot either SS or MSD. It's already paid for and it's just sitting on the property taking up space and making us look trashy.
I have a problem with him handing over the skids money for a car without them proving they aren't going to take that money, get a car and end up wrecking it, getting it impounded, not keeping insurance,etc. I dont want to see money just thrown away. Which is how I do see it at this point. With SS.
But I think right now he needs to worry about his other debts. SS can take public transportation. It's not like he HAS to have a car and DH is the ONLY means of him getting a car. I think DH needs to worry about getting CS caught up and my 401K caught up before he tries to shell out thousands more on something.
I think some entitled kids
I think some entitled kids ask for grandiose amounts of money or expensive things because it's all Monopoly money to them. If you have never worked/lived in the real world, how much value can you give a dollar? If you have ever had to work to support yourself, you wouldn't waste a penny.
Or more realistic, whenever I've wasted my pennies, I've at least made sure I enjoyed it!