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Anyone's SO not talk to their kid(s)?

zerostepdrama's picture

MSD was always the trouble child. Before I came into the picture there was an incident where DH physically disciplined MSD and he ended up with charges because she went to a friend's house afterwards and the mom called the cops. Don't know all the details of it.

When I came into the picture, their relationship was pretty close. She was the girl skid that was around the most. When she got pregnant and was in the hospital and then had her baby way early (like 3 1/2 months early) DH went to see her and GB a lot. Then when she got kicked out of her baby daddy's parent's house, he helped her get an apartment and would go and see her at her apartment a lot.

Fast forward to the incident where she tried to fight me in my home. It was an ugly situation and MSD was PISSED that DH was telling her she had to leave the house.

That happened probably like 16 months ago. Initially when it happened MSD told OSD to tell DH that she never wanted to speak to him again.

I feel at the time that DH should have reached out more to MSD and they should have talked about what happened.

I don't expect him to disown his daughter because she got physical with me. As long as he knows I am DONE with her, she is not to be at the house or around me, I'm good.

So time has passed. Both are stubborn. I know DH and he hates conflict and confrontation and I think he felt like he chose me over her because he made her leave the house, so I think it would be hard for him to explain to her his feelings on everything.

Of course I am enjoying not having to worry about MSD or hear about MSD. It's like 1 less skid to worry about. And with OSD basically out of the picture and YSD isn't a bother (I don't see her) and SS is cool, I'm actually in a good position.

MSD recently had another baby. It makes me kind of think- DH has another grandchild and he won't even really know about her. I'm sure YSD and SS tell DH stuff but it's not the same.

I don't feel bad about anything,like the reason they don't talk is because me. Their relationship is their business and between them. I know I am not standing in the way of it.

Just curious if anyone else is in a similar situation.

Comments

Acratopotes's picture

nope not me... but I'm stunned - a DH backing up his wife and tell his own blood kid, you are not welcome in my house anymore.... cause you disrespected my WIFE.... now the wife feels bad about it... geeeze Zero what's wrong with you... you should be jumping up and down from joy...

don't get involved, DH is teaching his brat some life lessons, you might not agree in how it's done, but DH probably told her if she sincerely apologize it will be over and she's refusing... thus not DH's problem, he's keeping his word..

zerostepdrama's picture

I don't really feel bad about it. And I won't be getting involved with anything. I haven't even said her name to him since the incident happened.

I guess with her just having her baby, I just thought about the situation a little more.

Acratopotes's picture

pffft stop thinking about it.... it's up to DH Zero - you have other things to think about...

like what to wear today... Wink

zerostepdrama's picture

Yes I do worry about his feelings and I probably do "feel" for him at times. I don't plan on bringing anything up to him...end of the day it's all on him.

tinkertiff3721's picture

I need to learn how to not bring up SD to my DH! It's been driving me up the wall that he just refuses to even respond to SD's entited messages. I want to jump in and respond so bad!! But I haven't so far! I admire you very much! 

Nette5's picture

Neither of my Skids (SS20 & SD18) have had contact with DH in years by their choice. The Skids had been taught that DH needs to "chase" them & he needs to be the one to initiate any & all contact. Sadly, the same situation applies to his parents and sister as well... they think DH is the only one to be initiating contact. Also, SS20 has lied to DH's parents (& everyone) about what happened in our home & nobody has bothered to ask DH what happened, they just blindly believed SS.

Now, since DH has seen any of his family: SD18 has moved to Texas & back, SS20 has almost literally run from DH whenever SS sees him, his sister has moved to a new town, & has parents have moved to another town & a different house in that town... the only one we have an address for is SS because he has to register. We have not moved, changed numbers, & DH still works in the same retail job.

Now, somehow my DH has managed to separate all this from himself & move on in a positive way (I still struggle) because he got so tired of being the one to chase eveyone down & basically beg for any attention. I swear the only time I remember hearing my FIL say anything positive without a negative attached was when he showed up at DH's work for 10 minutes in Feb to drop off our son's Christmas present (2 used dvd's) & FIL was simply amazed that my DH had finally moved up to a higher management position.

In all of my DH's family dropping us like a hot potato, my DS13 has lost his bio half siblings, his aunt, cousins, & paternal grandparents and we will probably never meet ss20's daughter.

ETA: both Skids have been told (when they left) that when they are ready for a relationship, we will be here.