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My New Attitude Is Working

Wishitwasdifferent's picture

Well my new sod it approach to SD is working, at the weekend we collected her sunday dinner time to take her out and BM had not brushed her hair and had dressed her like a tramp, usually I would worry and get SO to take us back to our house, clean her up put on decent clothes and brush her hair BUT this time, NO BM has left her like that so that is how she will have to look and seeing as Daddy says nothing about your unkempt appearance why the hell should I?

And it felt good to not have to worry or fret over SD who appreciates NOTHING that I do for her, so my new attitude is working not to mention saving myself a fortune on treats for her.

I would strongly advise letting go, it is liberating Smile


herewegoagain's picture

I couldn't agree more! I too remember the days of running to the store to buy skid a decent dress for an 8yr old vs. the hoochie clothes her mother sent her with. Once I let it go, it became much more apparent to the people around us that what I had said about the crazy ex was indeed true. I remember my mother always defending the ex (she had issues when my uncle divorced his first wife, so she continued that poor ex mentality) until it was March in Texas and kid was wearing shorts with literally her "cheecks" showing because the shorts were so short and tight. This at a family gathering. LOL My mother was shocked. LOL I let it go. It really works and you will feel much better. Buy yourself something instead.

Wishitwasdifferent's picture

You know it has made such a difference, I always thought that the reflection was on ME if SD looked a mess and unclean BUT I am slowly seeing the light.

She is not my child, IF I had a child they would not be neglected. It isn't hard to wash and dress a child now is it? BM is not even capable of that, what a loser, she dresses her in 2 year olds clothes and she is 5!!!! Lol

I don't like being seen with SD when she looks a tramp but have vowed that if ever anyone makes a comment on her appearance I will tell them, you need to address your concerns to her Mother, I am just Step Mom, my opinions don't count which I why I no longer give a shit how she looks! Lol

Why didn't I take this approach a long time ago???

Wishitwasdifferent's picture

Stressing over someone else's child is not good and I was at burn out point, half the time I was angry because nobody except me seemed to care how she was dressed or looked and I am no relation to her and half of me pissed off as SD never once says thank-you for anything I do for her, now that is all gone, I do NOTHING for her so I don't have any thank-you's to expect and it feels great to just no longer give a damn about this brat.

SD might get to an age where she cares about how she looks, although I doubt it, she is very like BM to look at and her 'The world owes me a favour attitude' is exactly how BM is so I have no doubt that unless SO changes his attitude soon and starts dishing out some discipline to her, she will just morph into a Mini Version of her Dole Claiming Benefit Bitch Mother, but to be frank I don't give a shit, as long as she does not damage my house or it's contents she can come to visit her Dad every other weekend, as long as she has respect for my rules it will be ok but the minute she steps out of line I WILL tell her, I am no longer waiting for SO to step in and if he does not like me discipling SD in MY house then they both can piss off.

Taking back control of your own life and leaving others to sort themselves out is the way forward.

imjustthemaid's picture

I don't have the problem with BM dressing SD (SD is 15 and doesn't see BM often) but SD dresses herself like a white trash whore. I used to tell her to change before DH sees but now I ignore it and let her wear what she wants. Last Easter somehow she sneaked out the door and into the car. We get to MIL's house. My DD9 has a pretty outfit on,, BD3 has an Easter dress on and out of the car comes SD14 at the time-wearing cut off denim shorts (butt cheeks hanging out) some weird shirt and dirty sneakers! Ha Ha I almost died. The funniest part was DH's face!! He still talks about it to this day.

(She has plenty of nice, dressy clothes to wear and nice shoes but she chose this on her own)