The Entitlement....I just can't....Update
Good day, fellow S'Talkers. For those who have who have not read of my tragi-comic adventures in Step-World, here is the cast of dysfunctional characters:
SO - Significant Other
SOD - Significant Other - Daughter
SOS - Significant Other - Son
POS - ex-husband of SO, and the sperm donor of SOD and SOS. This is the "man" who happily unloads responsibility for his children on me (mostly financial in nature, but also all of the labor of helping them learn to be adults).
SOD - GD - Significant Other - GrandDaughter
TPP - The Trailer Park Prince, babby daddy of SOD-GD
So an update from my recent post about SOD's not inconsiderable entitlement. After the Eyebrow Incident, SOD hit SO with another crazy request (really a demand, but presented as a "request that couldn't possibly be refused") - she wanted SO to call in so that she (SOD) could get her hair done. SMH.
As a bit of explanation, SO has a part-time job where she occasionally picks ups shifts to help earn money to pay SOD's bills. These are half-days, and SO still ends up watching the baby 4 or 5 hours. SO had already agreed to a shift last week when SOD called, wanting SO to baby-sit several extra hours one day so she could make a hair appointment. SO explained that she was already scheduled to work, so SOD hit SO with "It seems like you are getting the baby less lately. Just because I'm a single mom doesn't mean I shouldn't have a life." Well, the guilt-trip worked. SO called in from her second job that day and got the baby 4 hours earlier.
It is just mind-boggling how SOD thinks. I know it is entitlement, but I honestly think she is totally ignorant to how the world works. When you decide to have a kid, that kid becomes your new top priority. You shouldn't dump the kid off 3 days a week because your baby daddy TPP doesn't want to work with you on his schedule (which means he never has the baby alone for any length of time). You don't dump your kid off at your mom's hours early, because you don't want to be saddled with dragging a toddler around to your appointment. You either take the kid with you, or you don't do the appointment. It's not rocket science!
SO was pissed about all of this, but of course didn't say anyting to SOD. She did, however, try to bait me into an argument. She made numerous comments about how SOD isn't fair to her, because she has placed 50% of the child-raising on her (note that I didn't say child-care, I said actual child-raising because the baby is with us so much). SO has basically given up her life for SOD, and it isn't fair. I just grunted and made the "Hmmm-huhh" sound. No way was I going to let her drag me into an argument so she could take her frustrations out on me.
Later in the day, I did a little test, and made a very tame comment about being concerned that SOD thinks SO has been taking the baby less. As I expected, SO used this as an opening to launch into full "Mama Bear" mode, defending her daughter. She stated that she understands where SOD is coming from, and that having a baby shouldn't mean SOD doesn't get to live her life. I beat a hasty retreat and said nothing elese, and with no oxygen left in the room, SO was not able to keep up her tirade.
Over the next couple of days, SO repeatedly complained about SOD, because she was hell-bent on getting me to criticize SOD, so that would give her an excuse to lay into me. Which, of course, would allow her to transfer her frustration onto a human punching bag that knows better than to say anything back. This time I made a point of changing the subject whenever SO was complaning about SOD, and I could tell this really irriated SO.
As a capper on all of this, SOD got a complaint from her landlord because she lets her gigantic dog shit everywhere outside, and never cleans it up. Of course SOD thinks this is unfair because "everyone is doing it, no one else got notices." No idea if she was the only one that got noticed, but it doesn't matter. She knows that she should clean up her dog's shit, especially since it is a huge dog that drops gigantic turds. Of course, SO agreed with her, and started bad-mouthing the staff at the apartment.
I did have a bit of a revelation after all of this. I had always thought that SOD's sole reason for getting pregnant was to baby-trap TPP, but now I think it was a little more calculated than that. I think she knew having a baby would expand and extend leverage over her mother for years to come, because now she had an "innocent grandchild" who needed care, and SOD could continue to claim that she needed help. In reality, SOD is just lazy and entitled, and she saw having a kid as way to keep her mom's gravy train running. This is probably secondary to baby-trapping the TPP, but I think it is still a major part of her "thought" process to maintain her lifestyle.
Sorry if this is a little rambling, it's been a tough week. Just needed to vent.