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Here are my terms to DH.

Unhappy's picture

Submitted by Unhappy on Mon, 10/08/2012 - 3:29pm

Please read previous blog.

http://www.steptalk.org/node/82697

I told him that I will not leave him under these terms.

1.) SD is not allowed back over until he gets his parenting or lack there of under control. No excuses. He needs to figure his sh!t out because it's not doing anyone of us any favors to have to deal with her like this and I think at this point we can all use a break from her.

2.) We will be seeking a professional in regards to the damage that this has done to our relationship.

3.) We will be installing cameras around the house excluding the bathromms and bedrooms. This will not only benefit me but him and the other children as well.

4.) SD will be in therapy for her behavior. Not the last person she saw where she was able to con her way out of it. Someone that can see through her BS and figure out what the hell her problem is.

5.) There will be a list of rules with consequences posted. Those rules will be followed to a T when it comes to her. No more guilty daddy. No more inconsistency. No more excuses.

6.) Due to inappropriate behavior there will be no more sleep overs ever that involve SD and my BD being in the same room. I don't know if it was an accident like DH claims but I will not take any risks. I do not think that SD molested my BD, but there are some obvious issues that I have seen with SD and her impulse control. I have caught her, a couple of years ago, with her face a couple of inches away from SS's priviates spitting water onto his privates. I have caught her trying to talk my BD into kissing SS's privates. And I have witnessed her taking toys and putting them on/in her privates in the bath tub. Obviously the kids no longer bathe together anymore. I do not believe SD has been abused in any way. She is the type of kid who makes up lies all of the time to get attention so if anything happened to her I'm sure she would tattle.

Am I missing anything ladies?

Comments

Unhappy's picture

Submitted by Unhappy on Mon, 10/08/2012 - 3:51pm

Then I'm leaving. I already told him that. These are my terms and I feel that after all of the crap that I have put up with I am being pretty generous here. I have had it. No more BS from him. He either gets his sh!t together or he doesn't. His choice. I am giving him on last chance.

Unhappy's picture

Submitted by Unhappy on Mon, 10/08/2012 - 3:51pm

We have both SS(5) and SD(7) soon to be 8 every other week. So we have them for 6 months out of the year. SS I can handle. SD I'm over.

PeanutandSons's picture

Submitted by PeanutandSons on Mon, 10/08/2012 - 4:05pm

Number one is a bit open ended. Saying that she can't come back until he gets his parenting under control....

Who determines what's adiquate? How will this be any different than it is now, with his trying to get by with as little as possible and you trying to enforce order?

Can you come up with measurable goals, so he knows exactly what you are expecting from him?

Unhappy's picture

Submitted by Unhappy on Mon, 10/08/2012 - 4:18pm

Unfortunately I do not. I wich she would never come back but that's not an option that I have. I can't freaking stand this kid. She's a complete nighmare.

doll faced sm's picture

Submitted by doll faced sm on Mon, 10/08/2012 - 4:09pm

Good for you, your DD, *and* your SD. You deserve a husband who backs you up and handles his responsibilities, DD deserves to feel safe in her own hom, and SD deserves a parent who gives a damn enough to correct her. My only word of caution would be to guard against even seemingly minute slip-ups. When men think they've made us just happy enough to shut us the hell up, they'll get lazy and sink back into old routines.

Unhappy's picture

Submitted by Unhappy on Mon, 10/08/2012 - 4:59pm

I agree. I've witnessed DH do this and even admit up to it on more then one occassion. This is it for him. I will make myself very clear. There will be no more chances. If I have to be around that child there will be rules and there will be boundaries and they will be followed or DH will end up by himself. Because I can guarantee him with the utmost certainty that no women in their right mind would tolerate what I have tolerated and been as patient as I have been. I have taken more abuse from this whole situation then I ever want to see again. I am done. Either he gets his sh!t together or he doesn't. His choice.