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Anyone watch Dr. Phil today? BM vs. SM

unbelieveable's picture

I am enraged. I am enraged at the fact that Dr. Phil made it a point to tell one of the stepmothers that she is NOT the BM and should set boundaries.

Someone please tell me WTH our responsibilities are? If we do "too much" we are accused of trying to be the SK's biological mother- we are told we can't take place of the mother....(NO SHIT! MOST OF US DON'T WANT TO!)

If we disengage and take a weekend to primp ourselves we are evil b*tches that want nothing to do with the kids and who have no business being with someone who has children?


I guess my new motto is - I'll do what I want ; ) You can judge if you want to.

Another thing I noticed - I think Dr. Phil missed WHY alot of us resent the I know not ALL BM's are crazy...and some BM or BF and Steps do get along which is great - if you are one of those people...BUT they missed the whole BM sits on her ass and does nothing ALL day while the kids are in school and takes trips to the beauty salon and goes out at night every night to drink while our husbands/boyfriends/whatever slave at work for a paycheck they don't even get half of....? Shouldn't the parent with the money - who works hard to set a good example have custody? WTH.


Colorado Girl's picture

I don't watch stuff on tv that pisses me off... especially when it comes to that which I have no control over.

I also think there are as many SMs who cross boundaries as there are BMs that do. My exH had a girlfriend once who took upon herself to let me in on her opinions of what was best for my 6 year old who she knew all of two months.

Dr. Phil is a show made to produce ratings based on people's reactions. Your enragement is a perfect example of how well he's doing his job. Smile

It's all drama.

~Colorado Girl

anabihibik's picture


Jsmom's picture

It's a repeat. It ticked off most of us, when it was on the first time. He totally disregarded Stepmoms.

iwishyouwould's picture

ditto. i mean what is he some kind of psychologist..psychiatrist.. PhD in something? No self respecting any of the above would go on tv and make a mockery of their profession like he has.

Pay no mind to the man behind the curtain LOL..

cyberwoman's picture

I love your slogan "if you don't have anything nice to say, then shut the fuck up." My best friend would add the following sentence "if you are ugly at least try to be nice." Hmmm maybe I should post both of these on BM's Facebook. }:)

unbelieveable's picture

Last time I checked the statistics - they said 2 out of 3 marriages involving stepchildren FAIL.

You wrote: "Try to take the "competition" out of it... cuz really, there's no reason a SM and Bm should "automatically" not get along... but that's the case. I don't understand why..."

BM and I did "sort of" get along in the beginning...until she starting calling FDH (a month into our relationship) to go to dinner with her...calling him in the middle of the night...dumping the kids off with her mother so she could go drink her life away...spend ALL of the childsupport money on herself and alcohol and then have the nerve to say I needed to go buy HER children school clothes...told the girls they could pick their nose and eat it ANYWHERE because it's natural protein? She teaches them NO manners...she allows them to "hang up" on their father when he says he will NOT give her any more money....she flipped out and had a temper tantrum one day because I asked 7 year old SD to STOP interrupting....another sign of the lack of manners. She let the girls wear their brand new school shoes I bought them (before school started back in August) to play outside in mud puddles then had the nerve to ask if we could buy them new ones?? Hi - we are broke. I am a college student and I work a job as needed and a part-time job. FH works for the county...after child support he brings home about $450 for two weeks in between pay... BECAUSE I am taking over my family business in less than a year - she thinks I have money now...REMINDER: her kids are not MY full responsibiity. As an amazing person I can't seem to find on this site used to say..."I had no pleasure in making them...they are not mine issue to deal with."

I think we all "WISH" we could get along with you know how much DRAMA and craziness that could take out of OUR lives?

We could only wish...

lifeisshort's picture

I thought it was a pretty good episode. In the first part of the show, it was an interview between a BM and SM. After lots of mistrust and anger toward each other, as well as the man in the middle who enjoyed being able to "demonize" his ex-wife with his new wife (that's exactly how he put it), they both get along now. The kids benefit from having peace on all sides. I don't see what's wrong with that.

Haven't seen the second half yet, but the first half was pretty positive.

unbelieveable's picture

I agree with the first part. That painting was AMAZING....if I did something like that BM would cry throw a fit - pull it off the wall and light it on fire in the front yard.

sickofher's picture

its on now just because of the topic
I am not a Dr Phull of my self fan! So ... it should be interesting!

Pantera's picture

LOL. I heard the commercial for it this morning and was curious what was going to be said.

midwestmama's picture

I usually love Dr. Phil...have it set to tape every day while I'm at work. BUT...the ONE topic I almost NEVER agree with him on is when it comes to SM and Skids! Anytime a stepparent "doesnt like" and dote on the kids, he tries to say it's immature, "be the adult" blah blah...and pulls the sympathy card for these poor poor innocent kids who didnt ask for this etc etc! Ever think about how SM didnt ask for it either?? Oh, but since we've got a few years on them, we're supposed to suddenly be ok with being treated like shit. Ok. I see. Right! That really makes it all better.

I'm still at work, but I think I remember this episode, since someone said the two women "get along" at the end. Wasnt the new wife younger, thinner, prettier?? I seem to recall that. Anyways...I think as far as roles go, it's whatever the ppl involved are ok with...but when the 2 ppl who started the whole mess cant even agree, god forbid anyone else try to have a vote in their own life! ugh.

Purpleflower09's picture

Dr Phil usually has alot of good advice, but just because he is a doctor does not make him right. He is not a step parent so how would he know.

I made a point of doing this: I asked my husband what he expects of me being his childrens SM. He told me. I told him what I EXPECT being their SM, I told him I have the right to have and demand respect from his children, I have the right to keep a peaceful household,I have the right to protect myself from his childrens disresepct and BM attacks, I have the right to have a say in things that will affect me emotionally, finacially and the marital well being.

Jsmom's picture

I had issues with his comment that the Step mom was overstepping. If she doesn't get involved she doesn't care and if she does she is too involved. How is a stepmom supposed to figure it out. Also, the BM told her son to go ask his real mom - meaning the Stepmom. So obviously she is belittling that relationship to make herself feel better. My SS said something similar last week. Verbatim from BM and it hurts. That SM looked like a dear caught in headlights. She was terrified of the BM. Dr. Phil should have been harder on that. I think he was too easy. He actually suggested counseling for the BM and the Ex husband. My DH was listening as I was cooking and laughed and said like that is going to happen. What world is he living in.

unbelieveable's picture

I liked the whole "Ohh I wish we could sit together at events..." thing that the one BM threw out there...and then the stepmother let Dr. Phil know that her stepson told her that his BM told him SM was nice to him bc his SM was on drugs" Real nice biotch.

What's nice about my situation is that the kids don't remember their parents EVER being together...therefore we don't HAVE to sit with them...not if we don't want to.

Synaesthete's picture

I find Dr. Phil a little out of touch sometimes - especially when he has never been, first-hand, in a blended family situation. I think it's obnoxious of him to dare do a show on a subject of which he has no real knowledge. -shrug-