Haven't posted since April 7th...Some updates - and some distance issues.
Well - for anyone who read my last post about the incident I had with my not so stepkid who is a mean, manipulative, sociopath...
I spent most of the day (April 6th) on the phone with my parents and anyone else who would listen and I received some great advice - They all said - you've been doing this for too long. You ARE unhappy and this kid will ruin you - they were right...SHE is NOT worth it - and NOTHING came of the situation...she apologized to her daddy - but NOT ME? Nothing was EVER SAID. NO GROUNDING OR ANYTHING! Instead she comes in the following weekend with a BRAND NEW SAMSUNG GALAXY S4 - HELLO??!? SHE IS 10! :jawdrop: I took myself out of the situation...I am never ever alone in a room with the kid. Her little sister also is in one this with me - anytime her sister comes near me - she sneaks in right behind her. She knows I can't be alone with her because she WILL lie...I have even gone so far as to leave the second they come and I don't return home until after they are in bed.
My stress levels are good. My manager at my part-time job actually has me scheduled ALMOST every day they are here. NEAT HUH? And on the days she may not beable to schedule me - I go into our family's business and work there to keep myself away. I've also taken up walking/running - down 30 lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AMAZING! Not in a bikini yet...give me another 15! lol!
I am now having another issue...it's like my guy and I live in seperate worlds now...He is actually mad that I am never here...and has recently began making side comments about how I'm avoiding the girls..blah blah. We NEVER spend time together...if I am not at work, or running - then he is at work or the kids are here...we spend NO time alone. And anytime I mention us hiking or going on a weekend vacation or something -he finds some excuse? And of course his mother always has to chime in...when I DO spend a few hours around the kids between work or something - ALL they do is fight and talk back or whatever...and of course- nothing is done - and if I tell then to knock it off - they completely ignore me - and he just never hears anything - I find it HARD to believe that they are BOTH perfect angels when I am not here...the only good thing is the devil child has sleepovers often now at her friends house - so then I make sure I am here to hang out with the little one - and she and I always find something to do (That's how i am able to maintain some sort of relationship with her.) The older one seriously does everything she can when I am here to make her dad and I fight. :? I am really just beginning to think that this is all a lost cause and I've just wasted 6 years of my life...sometimes I feel like I am CRAVING attention from my own boyfriend...I've never been that way - and I've always made sure we were all doing something together (which is impossible now because I will NEVEr put myself in a situation where LIES are told involving that kid)...I know that they are his kids - even if the older one is a horrid pest and he would never choose. and I never would ask him too - I know that someday - if if we make it and have our own house...if that kid continues that behavior in MY house - she will NOT be welcome. NO WAY. maybe he knows that and that's what part of the distance between he and I is...I just don't know and now I am just rambling...ugh!