SS Is Soooooo AMAZING at Everything He Does.
Small vent.
We had SS19 over for dinner last night. When I say "we" I mean my husband invited him and told me a little over an hour before SS arrived...asked me to go get "something special" for him. On my dime, of course, since DH STILL hasn't been paid.
Anyway. I really don't care about that so much. We have a fairly open-door policy with friends and family. It's how I grew up so I don't really mind it. And DH did cook and do all the dishes.
My annoyance was before dinner. While DH was cooking, SS was catching him up on what's going on in his life. I was eavesdropping...and I don't know how to describe it...the tone SS takes is like...everyone else his age is an idiot, everyone he works with is an idiot...he's the only one who knows what he's doing. I find it really obnoxious (and also unlikely as SS is a bit of a screw-up at most things...a lovable screw-up, but a screw-up).
Like, at one point he literally said that the only good thing about this video project he worked on were the scenes he shot. Everything else was trash. DH was just laughing and agreeing and lapping it all up, encouraging this.
I'm trying not to be petty but it really grated on my last nerve. I'm trying to be realistic...I brag on my niece and nephews some, and it doesn't bother me when my siblings or friends brag on their kids within reason. But, for some reason, when my DH does it it drives me up the wall...even when I mostly agree with his assessment but especially when I don't agree at all.
Has anyone else had this experience or something similar? Does it annoy you when your skids brag on themselves within your earshot? Or when your SO brags on the skids?
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Normally the rule is that
Normally the rule is that anyone who speaks of themselves this way (child, young adult, COD, or otherwise) is actually the weakest link in the group and the worst employee. Every time. He who bitches they work the hardest is always the laziest SOB.
Back when I still had
Back when I still had anything to do with SS31 everything that came out of his mouth was an outright lie or a gross exaggeration.
Examples:
If he worked part-time for a yard service picking up leaves he was doing "landscape design".
When he "thought" about applying at a plumbing firm - he told people that he was a plumber.
He probably told people he was an electrician if he plugged in a lamp.
When he was working at McDonald's he told people he was a chef.
When he was a busboy at a fairly decent restaurant (for about a week before he got fired) he claimed that he cooked the specials for their top customers.
Another time when he was a waiter he claimed that they were working him double shifts for days on end because he was so great. Nobody pays overtime. Most of these places won't even schedule 40 hours.
Fortunately my poor DH knows his son and never swallows one word of this.
Its the way it goes -
Its the way it goes - everything they say is gold!
I have dh, mil, and greatgrandma that do this with ss13.
Every story he tells is interesting! They will even act like they have never seen a movie so he can babble about it!
I dont get how they can sit through him talking, he is the worst adhd story teller ever!!
I once heard him telling mil he had a joke to tell her- he starts off with the joke, cuts himself off, because the joke reminded him of a tv show- 35 mintues later he does not finish joke, but she just sits there.
He hates talking to me, because i make him stop and finish, or i wont listen to him.
Im not sure how they do it.
Both of my SDs are this way.
Both of my SDs are this way. Not only were they smarter and more talented than their peers, they were smarter than their teachers and for OSD, much more brilliant than her professors. YSD is so amazing, she doesn't need college. Now one is pouring coffee and the other is pouring beer. I wish I were as amazing as them.
Yeah...this is kind of the
Yeah...this is kind of the deal with my skids, too. For ages and ages OSD, who was just a total witch, was just an "old soul" and "super smart" and misunderstood. Too smart for the classes she was taking...knew waaaayyyy more than the teachers.
Blech. Um, nope. She's actually just mean and horrid...and kind of immature for her age, all things considered. YSD was also "so smart" and so good at school. Only, now she's getting her test scores back (SAT and ACT) and it turns out she is decidedly average.
I think they're all very, very average kids / young adults. Maybe a little on the low end of the scale.
Yeah - I try to be objective
Yeah - I try to be objective and honest with myself and, the truth is, I think if this was my little sister or one of my nieces and nephews talking to me about their work...I wouldn't find it that objectionable...probably because I agree with them that they're pretty awesome.
In my family, we used to refer to "family talk" which meant...we can brag on ourselves a little over dinner but it doesn't leave this table. We're all friends and fans of each other, so of course we think you're awesome. I mean, if you can't brag on yourself a little to your own dad, who can you talk to about these things. I'm sure, in SS's mind, he's just catching DH up on what's going on in his life.
There was just something about the tone of it all, though, that really rubbed me the wrong way. Haughty, condescending and...almost prudish...that's how I'd describe it. I think he's just trying to show off for his dad about a mutual interest / career pursuit...but it comes across as incredibly moralizing about who's "good" and who's "bad." Maybe I'm misremembering...but when I was that age, I don't think I put other people down to that degree while talking to my parents about my interests...and I didn't brag on myself that much. If I got a good grade or a promotion or was excelling at a subject or pursuit...I know I expressed happiness and excitement...but no disdain for others who weren't doing as well as I was. My gut tells me that SS is just incredibly insecure. He's not in college, so he doesn't get a lot of concrete external feedback about his work...it's more subjective, so maybe he feels the need to justify it more or puff himself up.