You are here

Who else has an unorganized/scatter-brained BM?

needinginwardpeace's picture

This is so weird to me - someone totally unable to manage time, schedules, is forgetful, unorganized, needs reminding, screws things up based on lack of memory. Is this familiar to anyone?

I believe it comes down to lack of caring personally. If you CARE, you manage to get things done in a timely organized fashion - and done properly.

BM in our life has screwed so many things up I've lost count because of her scatter-brained personality and inability to use a watch or be organized at all.

For example:
- Girl scouts for SD - she doesn't manage the schedule and screwed up a camp, cookie sales and a party for her troupe because of this.
- Letters of permission - she 'forgets' or in the case of document renewals, completely messes up the due date/screws up the necessary requirements for documentation (ie. signature, supporting documents - for health cards, passports, anything for school, the list is endless).
- Requirements - ie. sports equipment/clothing, needs for anything (ie. plays at school, special events, $ due for trips/pizza days)
- Vacations - if it's her choice in a particular year, and she is to submit her decision for vacation with the skids - if her deadline is X date, she forgets or can't manage her schedule/daytimer/etc and manages to finally get her act together usually 6-8 weeks after the due date.
- the custody/visitation schedule itself, which is set in stone as per the parenting agreement - completely messed up several times over the last 7 years by BM that she needs reminding. We have in our calendar to remind her about things (especial holidays and extended periods). I had DH delete these because it's her responsibility as a parent and an adult at that, to be organized and not screw up.

She's a total mess. The slag can't even drive without crashing her vehicle into guard rails (or backing up into poles) because of her inability to concentrate on the task at hand - which is driving a vehicle. Mind you years ago she came out with an admission of an 'imaginary world with many characters where she spends a lot of of her time.' - yeah........this may be a contributing factor.

I abhor disorganized people like this. I just cannot fathom how you can have dependents and *not* manage your time with them and important things in a responsible manner. And I really look down on her for this, I can't help it. It's such an easy personal thing to fix, I guess due to her laziness she just *can't* get her act together. Combined with all her other issues it's a mystery to me why DH would ever be with her, because now he thinks she's grotesque and frankly, stupid.

*sigh* - waiting the next moronic move from this woman. ~ Christmas is coming and there has *never* been a year when she hasn't completely made an ass of herself by not being able to follow the schedule or practice any form of time-management.

She's just such a massive screw-up! It really is baffling. Because I know it's not deliberate. She comes by her stupidity honestly. She has an *okay* job, a very large over-inflated ego - but still, not the brightest light on the tree.

Does anyone deal with this??? I want to punch her out every time her scatter-brain screws up something that affects the skids.

needinginwardpeace's picture

got 'distracted' - sounds familiar

And the break-up thing/focusing on the ex-H - major fear here.

Anytime BM has a problem, she takes it out on my husband. Unsuccessfully, but still - freaking out on my partner isn't something I'm okay with at any time. I couldn't imagine what she would do if she didn't have her puppet, I mean husband, there to assist her. I suppose she would be forced to be a parent. *gasp!

StickAFork's picture

I read the this and couldn't help but chuckle. Biggrin

I'm a total type A personality. I like things clean, organized, and I'm the "on top of everything" kind of person. it's served me well for a number of years.
However...
I went through a bout for over a year where I just couldn't seem to get things together. I felt like I was always trying to play "catch up" and was never on top of things. Everyone told me it was just because I was stressed and had a lot on my mind. After numerous doctor visits, I found out what's wrong. (They thought it was MS for most of the time, but certain vitamins affect neurological function.) Much better now.
I still have 3 busy teens at home. I work. I'm taking 6 graduate classes now. I literally have to write everything down on a schedule to remember it all. Never needed to do that before. Sad

In your case, it's super annoying that BM is scatterbrained. That doesn't mean she's stupid, or even that she doesn't care. She's different from you. You have one personality, and she has another. Try not to project what *you* think are shortcomings onto her. Our differences make the world go 'round... there are the planners, and then there are the wait and seers. Smile

needinginwardpeace's picture

It's so true. I just can't help it. Sometimes I wish I was more 'easy going'. That might be her strength, because it certainly isn't mine!

StickAFork's picture

Hee, hee...it's obnixious trying to deal with the "other type."

I've found that I am much more analytical, and the other type is more artsy, creative.

It keeps things interesting!

needinginwardpeace's picture

yes she is very artsy. Once she made a world in a shoe box, made entirely out of....pennies - to show the family! True story. I wish I had that type of creativity and artistic talent.

I just can't resist sorry.

LRP75's picture

This is what I was thinking...

Either ADD or some other mild form of mental illness (the imaginary world reminds me of schizo...).

My son is ADD - not the "let's dope him up just so we don't have to deal with him" - but the real ADD. It has gotten slightly better for him as he matures and is going through puberty, but when he was younger - that was exactly what he was like. The kid was all over the place in his head. It was really sad and very scary to watch. I worried a lot that he was going to be that way as an adult, but like I said, puberty has made a difference with his ADD.

purpledaisies's picture

Im very scatter brained but i never have forgotton ky kid!! However ive been knowvto put things up and necer found them, forget my phone in all kinds of places along with my glasses. Lol

I have known to forget to pay a bill and have to pay the late fee things like that. But i am a creative person and make things . My family loves it im always called to male thinks foe parties or get my input on weddings and other things.

Yep ive been known to forget to lock my front door or to lock my keys in my car while its running. I cant remember all the stupid stuff ive done but ive never forgotten to pick up my kid or to male sure they had their stuff and most of the.time always on time