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Curious...How many parents get played by kids

tryingtomakeit's picture

As a step parent looking in on a situation how many of you see your wife/husbands getting played by their kids, but they(the parents) wont do anything about it because the child might get mad at them and not want to come for the weekend?

ex: My step daughter told my husband she was sick and she did not feel like coming over, but that night she broadcasted it on facebook that she was having a friend stay the night with her?

My husband will not say anything to her about her lying to him instead of just saying I want to stay at moms casue a friend is coming over.

He doesnt see anything wrong, or will not admit that his daughter is wrong.

My theory is one lie leads to another and they just keep getting easier and bigger.
Then we are lying about where we are going, who we are with, what we had to drink....and so on!

Comments

smdh's picture

My dh would get played 100 times a day by his kid if I weren't pointing out that she is manipulating him. I used to think he didn't realize he was being manipulated. now I just think he is ok with it unless I jump on it. He doesn't want to disappoint me so he addresses it, but I don't think it bothers him.

smdh's picture

I think he does realize this. I think he just gets tired of constantly having to be "on". I think part of him has resigned himself to the idea that his kid will never figure out to do the right thing without being threatened, bribed, or forced into it.

tryingtomakeit's picture

He asks if I'm just inviting more drama by reading her posts. Me: NOPE at least I know what's going on and am not blindsided. You never know what's going on nor care to find out and leave everything in the air-I'm tired of living like that, this gives me a LITTLE bit of plannign/control over our lives. Your approach is bullshit.

I totally agree...if I did not look at her FB page I would be left in the dark and would not have a clue what is going on. My husband only tells me the things he finds important which are totally not the REAL things that are.

tryingtomakeit's picture

Yeah, personally Im glad they stay with their mother...wait, no, no I am not! Becasue my 15 yr old stepdaughter cannot pick up the phone to tell her dad stuff so the ex wife is always blowing up his phone telling him stuff that the 15 year old is big enough to tell him.....damnit...I CANNOT GET A BREAK.>>> HAHA

Cat8474's picture

Oh my SD 13 gets away with a lot with my husband! I have just learned to ignore her nasty behavior for the most part. I figure it's his kid so why should I make myself crazy by getting upset by her behavior! If it doesn't bother him what can I really do about it.

But if she is rude to me I will definatley stick up for myself! This kid gets away with back talking her dad and I told him when he isn't looking she gives him dirty looks. But that doesn't seem to bother him. Oh well. If he wants to raise a brat that's on him.

I just concentrate on my marrige and not the kid. Someday she will grow up and have a life of her own and not be around so much.

nogooddeed's picture

I hope that someday I can get to the point of letting SD17s lies and manipulation roll off my back like that. Right now I get so posses off at her for treating DH like crap, and then mad at DH for being such a door Matt. And only a couple of times DH has sen SD snub me when I say hello or give me dirty looks. All the other times I tell him she is doing that he says 'well what do you want me to do if I didn't even see it?' I try to tell myself to not worry about her and just focus on my marriage, but shouldn't that include my DH sticking up for his wife?

B22S22's picture

My SK's are master manipulators. Play my DH like a finely-made fiddle. And he's accepted it all this time because of what other posters have said... if he doesn't he'll suffer the wrath of BM and will run the risk that the SK's will throw a pout and not come over anymore.

Although, I'm thinking DH is getting tired of it. He honestly can't tell me with a straight face he hasn't known it's been happening because it's so painfully obvious! Anyhoo, I've started to notice a trend where DH just doesn't care... meaning he's almost emotionally detatching himself from them most of the time. It used to be we had to stop our world from turning until the SK's got here on the weekend.

Helena.Handbasket's picture

All the time. At one point I actually told SO that SD was playing him when it came to BM and he got upset with me. I gave up.

Recently SS told him that SD does it, SO finally had to admit "helena was right and I didn't want to believe it, but now i realize my daughter plays me"

:jawdrop:

Not that it really makes much difference. She can still manipulate him when she wants to.