watching everything fall apart...
I don't want to get into the details.. but after seven months of unhappiness getting worse and worse my DH is finally hearing me. He is shocked at my unhappiness, shocked that I would consider leaving... It's like watching an accident happen in front of my face, not being able to stop it.
We almost split up last night.
I am hanging by a thread.
I LOVE my husband. He is a good loving sweet man, amazing at his job,and a devoted father to his two kids (12 & that we have 50%. The problem is the skids make me miserable. They are really screwed up from years of poor parenting and a massively screwed up BM.
I thought I could fix everything. I thought I could help.
I have come to the realization that I don't know if I can ever be fully fulfilled in this life being a step-mom. I hate it. I hate being a step-mom. I never wanted to get involved with someone with children, but DH convinced me it would be okay. I believed I could sacrifice my dream imagine of the perfect family, since does that even really exist? I thought I could overlook it and make it work. I can't stand them, hate being around them, want nothing to do with them. I would make them go away if there was a magic wand that could do such a thing. They have been so hurtful to me, I just am totally shut down from them, disengaged from my entire home even.
I want my own family, feels like all I have are the leftover scraps of someone else's broken mess.
The issues with BM are never going to stop. The skids are never going to be out of the picture. I figured it will get better as they get older but from what I read on here, that seems to not be the case for most.
I really need support! I am so desperately torn between the man I love with all my heart, and feeling like I know I could be happier. I'm tired of feeling like a second class citizen all the time with his children.
We both want to have a baby together but I am terrified of this, feels like pouring oil on a fire.
Have any of you left a man you loved because you just couldn't stand being having to deal with the ex and the skids anymore?
Have any of you stayed but regretted it?
Have any of you stayed and been grateful you stuck it out through the hard times? Is there a light at the end of the tunnel???????