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Testifying in family court

Toastergirl's picture

Has anyone here ever testified in their DH's custody trial? Lawyer said he will ask me to testify. The trial is coming around the corner and I'm nervous.

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Maxwell09's picture

Yes. I didn't know until the day of and it was terrifying. Our lawyer asked me about myself; college graduate, working part time, how often do I take care of SS, do I know BM, have we had any confrontations (yes), describe them, what are my future plans (if I intended to marry DH). Our lawyer went first she pretty much just laid out who I was for the judge. BMs attorney went next and tried to make it seem like I was shacking up with DH. He asked me about the incident when BM attacked me but the more questions I answered the more BM looked bad. BM actually shouted at me once or twice while I was testifying so she kinda made herself look bad by being unable to control herself. Her attorney stopped after the second outburst and said he had nothing else. I didn't know it at the time but our attorney had made BM look like a fool during her testimony. She caught her in a couple of lies and showed her temper. Our BM is not a bad mom per say (no drugs/arrests but a Disney parent for sure) so her attitude and lies is what made her "lose" primary custody to DH.

Toastergirl's picture

That's pretty much the same boat we are in. Hopefully our lawyer can show the judge how uncooperative she is.

Shaman29's picture

Only because Uberskank accused me of refusing to feed skid (like it was my effing job to feed someone else's child).

Judge asked me to explain why I wasn't allowing skid to eat in our home.

I responded that she nearly set our kitchen on fire three times. After the third time, I told her no more using the stove or oven. She can eat sandwiches or use the microwave but she cannot use the use the cooktop to make her ramen or mac n cheese or the oven to bake.

Judge asked how she set the fires. I responded that she used towels to pick up hot pans from the stove and oven, igniting them on the heating elements. She also left a pot on a lit element and the contents burned and caught fire (and ruined a great saucepan as well).

She looked at Uberskank and said "Sounds reasonable to me. I see no problem here."

Toastergirl's picture

Oh.my.god.

At least the judge had a brain! I hate it when we tell SD no, she cannot have a snack and she runs to her mother saying we don't feed her. Sigh.

DarkStar's picture

I have testified in a family court as well as for a restraining order.

Wear a nice, casual dress or skirt outfit. Have your hair and makeup done, but subtle and tasteful. Think conservative. Bring mints (I get dry-mouth when I'm nervous), no gum.

Sit quietly until it's your turn (no cell phones in court!). When either lawyer asks you questions, keep it short and polite (yes/no answers unless they ask you to elaborate).

Focus on your relationship with DH and the skids and how you contribute to those relationships in your family.

Be honest. Ask to have a question repeated if you can't hear them or if you don't understand it. Take your time, breathe. If you have to talk to the judge for whatever reason..."yes, your honor/no, your honor"

I kind of compare it to a cross between being in church and getting pulled over by a cop.

Monchichi's picture

Not anymore DarkStar. We do still model the rest of the British system. You needs lawyer and advocate for high court. A lawyer may not address the court.

timemachine's picture

Hi! Don't worry you will be okay. By tomorrow evening the anxiety will be over. I go to court with my DH. We went to court today and I thought I was going to get called back but it was continued.

just tell the truth and have reasons why your man is a good father. The courts want to hear from a witness that he is a good dad

timemachine's picture

Luckily the BM we have to deal with lies all the time...even lied to her lawyer this time. If your BM is trying to pull bogus shit, consider it good on your part because generally courts see through that.

example: BM accused DH of child abuse and neglect (which was completely false) and the courts appointed a guardian elite um to give their input. The courts saw through BM's bullshit and knew she just wanted custody