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BM trying to keep up

Tiger7's picture

Last I knew, BM was seeing this guy (my future SIL referred to him as the little fella). Just found out last week that BM has a new guy. She was with the little fella in Dec so this new guy could only have come around in the last couple of months. Anyway, she knows SO and I are planning our wedding. SD18 told us that BM and the new guy were looking at engagement rings. LOL - it kills her to know that SO is happy and has someone who truly loves him. I won't be surprised if she rushes down to City Hall to marry this guy she barely knows before we get married. LMAO

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zerostepdrama's picture

That is what BM did. Well it was like a year later but the only lasted for like a year (maybe less) before it was a bust. And the year they were "together" I guess she kicked him out of the house a lot. They are still technically married even though BM has a new BF that she lives with. She has been with the BF for over a year. No idea why she hasn't divorced her DH.

hereiam's picture

Good! Maybe that will keep her out of your hair.

Marrying someone she barely knows? LOL.

I don't get the "trying to keep up" or "outdo" the ex. DH would have to leave me and marry another 3 times to keep up with BM but that's another story!

YoungMommyof4's picture

Lol I’m in a similar boat...except me and BM are both pregnant. I’m six weeks farther along. After we told everyone , quite a few weeks later SS mentions his mom is pregnant too. Ok... this is the second time this has happened. It gets even better. We found out we’re having a girl..so is she. We did a gender reveal..she does the same one. We picked a name and nickname and told family and kids. When it’s time for her to choose a name , she chooses one similar to ours and a nickname super close to the one we chose for our child. Ss said he gets confused lol. Wth

Tiger7's picture

That's crazy

Dawn-Moderator's picture

We got engaged 5 months before Bm but she got married 2 months before us to a guy she barely dated. Seems to be a pattern.

moving_on_again's picture

Haha. BM married the ballless wonder because we were going to court for custody. DH and I still didn't get married until 6 years later. BM hates her husband but loves his money. She's been caught cheating on him at least twice, he loves to tell people she won't put out, but yet, he stays. He did tell someone that he is afraid she will torch his house if he tries to kick her out. Oh ya, and she gave my ex-boss (who is a total scumbag) a BJ and then kissed her husband on the mouth immediately afterwards (before they were married).

Tiger7's picture

That's sickening

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

BM has always been quick to push relationships and try to match SO and I. It was so bad that if I took pictures of SO and the kids she would mimic them with whatever new guy she had at the time. It was so forced and pathetic because they wouldn't even be around a month. Let me repeat I would take pictures of SO and his kids. She would force the kids into the same "candid" pose with her new guy pretty much the first time they met him. There were no pictures of me and the kids until after SO moved in with me.

It was really sad because one of them did stay around a while. SO's oldest and I are talking about movies and it turns into a talk about stepparents. Thank you Disney. The girl goes "I'm about to have a stepdad." It was all I could do to not say anything. BM had called SO to cry that the guy had left out of no where while she was at work just a week before the girl tells me that. Worse thing was is she had just seen the kids and apparently hadn't broken the news to them so we had no clue what we were suppose to do.

What can you expect though. She knew the man two weeks before she moves her and the kids into the house he and another guy shared. Then less than a month, right before SO is to move in with me they get their own place. Not 6 months later he's gone.

SO and I are taking our time on everything but now that the divorce is finalized I'm really wondering how long before she hooks into whoever and gets them to marry her. I'm honestly shocked she's not had another kid already.

Tiger7's picture

what is wrong with these women?  BM just can't stand that SO is happy.  His sister lives a few houses down from her; she told me that BM once told him that nobody will ever love him or want him.  smh

Just J's picture

BM here did this too. When DH and I got engaged she wasn't even dating anyone, but she went and found her old high school boyfriend (that she told the step kids she never really liked) and she got engaged too, 3 months after us. Then she was planning her wedding and was going to get married a month after we did, but ended up moving it to 6 months after us. Years later I found out she was trying to get pregnant when she found out I was, but Mother Nature did not let her have a "keep up with my ex" baby and she was never able to get pregnant. Thank dog because she's a crappy mom to the two kids she has and she didn't need another, and her DH could barely afford CS for his own kid. BM is still married almost 15 years later, but I hear she is miserable and all she and her DH do is drink all the time. I truly think if DH and I got divorced and she heard about it, she'd feel ok to leave her loser husband too, but until then, she'd rather stay in a miserable marriage than be divorced if her ex is still married. I can't imagine living my life to keep up with someone else. I don't get why she cares so much.

moving_on_again's picture

Some of these stories have got me wondering if they think running out and finding someone is going to make them happy?

I have only seen BM happy with one guy she dated and supposedly he cheated on her. I don't really know the details. I do know for sure he ended up losing his license later and any custody of his kids. He's a real loser but BM adored him.

I know she's not happy with her husband but she's stuck around until now. I have a feeling she's shopping for a new one now that she doesn't get child support. She's suddenly started working out and actually dressing in decent clothes. Very unlike her considering the past 8 years she spent in track pants and old t-shirts and getting bigger every time I saw her.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

BioHo was FURIOUS that DH had a new (permanent) someone long before she did. It was 2+ years before she found a man dumb enough to marry her.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Dh and I started dating, BM started posting all over Fakebook about being loyal in marriage and how amazing marriage is (FYI, cheating wh0re, idk if she could be faithful if she tried...) Then her bf told her he doesn't believe in marriage, she throws a fit and moves in with her parents claiming to have been "forced" into the relationship... Then 6 months later she moves back in and BOOM, pregnant. bf still doesn't believe in marriage... Go figure...

Do you ever wonder if there's this weird obsession with making their ex think they're more together or something? So in an attempt to show how much "better" they are they think rushing a relationship is the way since their ex has moved on and found happiness away from her crazy a$$?

moving_on_again's picture

Yes. I honestly think that BM will never be happy. I don't think narcissists are capable. What I do know is BM hates that DH is happy.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

That's because Narcissists scientifically don't have the ability to actually truly love someone (the way regular people do at least). Instead the use people and call it "love." They love the way people make them fee and what people give them rather than loving the person. So the fact DH no longer has any care for them is upsetting. How dare someone could move on from them! They're obviously the most important person in the world!

Basically she can't love. But she wants everyone to love and worship her.

moving_on_again's picture

It's totally obvious with BM, too. She cannot let go of people. She always goes back and cheated with exes. I also think that's what fueled her anger with DH, she thought he would come back to her and take care of her when she snapped her fingers. It didn't happen.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I read several articles on it a while back.. I think it just made me gag worse and worse. Because all of it was describing BM and it was awful :sick:

Tiger7's picture

It is a weird obsession.  She doesn't want to be with SO (as far as I know) but also doesn't want him to be happy or have anything more than she has. 

Livingoutloud's picture

When DH and BM were divorcing, he was leaving her because he just couldn’t make her get a job and he couldn’t handle it anymore. Kids were long grown and she still wouldn’t get a job.

She told him if he leaves her she’ll make his life he$$ (she says “don’t f...k with me, I’ll make you pay” and he will never meet a woman who’d want him because she’d make sure he is always broke (he does pay very high alimony to her but it doesn’t make him broke lol).

He met me rather soon after divorce and we are happily married. She could never find anyone because she still refuses to work and lives off alimony and welfare. She recently told SD that she got married to this on and off guy (SD thinks he’s been selling her pot.)

When SD was shocked because she knows BM didn’t get married and she doesn’t live with any man and doesn’t even date, BM clarified that she got married “spiritually”. Wtf. She just could not handle that DH got married quick and happily (she knows from SDs and other relatives) but she has no one so she “spiritually” married some dude ugh She wouldn’t marry for real if ciurse not only because no one proposed but also because she’d lose her spousal support

notsobad's picture

I think it’s because in their minds HE is the problem. HE’S the reason their relationship didn’t work.

So when he finds someone new/permanent before her, it looks like she might have been the problem.
She can’t have people, especially the skids thinking that he’s not as bad as she says he is!

In our case BM told everyone to not tell DH that she was in a relationship. She said he’d be very jealous and she didn’t want to deal with it.
Umm, nope, but whatever helps ease your insecurities.

Livingoutloud's picture

Haha in our case when BM found out DH is dating me she called him and asked him to admit he really only loves her. He hung up and blocked her after. Gee

Tiger7's picture

BM thinks all her problems are because of SO even though they've been apart for 10 years.  She blames everything on him.

Acratopotes's picture

}:) }:) BM got married in a rush, I still have no idea why, maybe it was because I was messing with little Princess and knowing she goes through my stuff, but always denied it to SO..... I left wedding planner, material sample, venue bookings everything hidden between my stuff.

Yes every evening I could see Aergia went through my personal belongings and she told BM, BM rushed off to marry first, needless to say we never planned to get married it was all a hoax..... Aergia could never ask her father straight out cause that meant she did not listen to him and went through my personal belongings, oh the girl glared me down for years, first because I was marrying her dad, she did not get an invite or knew about the plans, she was not invited to join us on honeymoon (yeah those where hidden as well) and then BM marries suddenly, and now BM is pissed at Aergia for making up stories about us planing a wedding }:) }:)

Cooooookies's picture

BM2 is still jealous that DH moved on and is married. She can't hide her crazy long enough for anyone to marry her. She's been with Mr. Cyprus for 10 years but she's cheated on him and broke up with him more times than I can count. He won't ever marry her as his BM told I'm if he does, he's disowned and not part of their successful family business. Dear Mummy knows what BM2 is all about so he will never marry her.

She would constantly message DH about how they fought over him not marrying her. She just wished she could find someone that loved her. She kicked Mr Cyprus out because he still won't marry. Blah blah blah. She tried all that last year when she lived here and was being a wh0re in my home while I was at work.

DH told her you had a man that loved you but it wasn't good enough for you. You treated me like sh*t and cheated on my twice. We are done, finished, NEVER happening again so F off. Haven't heard much from her since and now she's again shacked up with Mr Cyprus. Seething that DH and I are still together and very happy.

She text him the day before our wedding anniversary asking what our plans were and were we going to practice 'making babies'. Who does that? Oh, a psycho jealous BM that will never move on because she convinced herself DH was the problem. Yet she's the one, a decade later, who isn't married. Moron.