One step forward
Two steps back. Sat down to have a nice dinner with my family and who comes creeping through my back yard and onto the porch...... Yep you guessed it FMIL. OSS is selling his car that has been parked at our house for months now and all the sudden she thibks she wants to buy it .So she brings FFIL over to look at it. Which apparently translates into he looks and she snoops in my yard and comes in my house. So when FDH goes outside with the keys to the car she proceeds to go through SDs school note book and all her bring home papers that I haven't even looked at yet, wanting to know where the school pictures are. I was so mad I had to just go outside.
I told FDH after we finally got rid of them what she had done and how upset it made me since she doesn't do homework with them or anything school related. He apologized for her and agreed it was very rude. Hopefully he will tell her not to do that anymore.
I just can't figure out what makes her think she can just show up, snoop through my back yard (driveway actually pulls right up to the front porch), let herself into my house, and go through whatever she can get her hands on? I will say that FDH and FSIL warned me not to EVER leave her alone in my house because she will snoop through everything in the house including going through the trash can to see your bills or private information. Ggggrrrrrr! I wish we had moved farther away from her. The sad part is FFIL is usually pretty awesome and likable.
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MILs
my MIL immediately sold her home and moved to the US to move into my DH's home when he decided to divorce BM. BM put up with her for about 2 months then told her to GTFO. So MIL bought the house directly behind us and spent months sneaking over when BM went to work and send daily reports about dirty laundry, guests and house cleanliness to DH. She would also go through the mail and steal stuff. I was honestly amazed at BM's unending patience with the situation.
When BM moved out (per divorce decree and graciously quick after we got married) MIL would go through the mostly empty house and throw things away that I specifically told her not to. One day she called me in a huff because DH's underwear were missing. Why the eff would a grown woman need to be looking for her adult son's panties???? She got offended when I said that I had them at my house because that's where he lived too. She huffed jealously and hung up the phone.
After years of experiencing my own invasion of privacy and astronomical abuse, I just started laughing and calling her out (think Isma from Emporers New Groove when she was telling her sidekick to hit the llama on the head). "Ahhh, whispering is very bad manners." "Hahahahha.. oh this is my home and I'll whisper to my husband if I want hahahahahahah" or "I remember when we would go to the nude beach in France" "hahahahahha that is such a creepy story! Hahahahaha". Or "someone has stolen *insert item here* from my home. It must have been someone the dogs know *side eye to whatever grandkids she's accusing*" "hahahahha oh my god, you lose your shit all the time and find it. Hahahhaha".
Maybe that hat will work for you? (Hahahahahahah)
Your H has to have a talk
Your H has to have a talk with his mother. Just because he's her son it doesn't give her the right to pop up unannounced and snoop in YOUR HOME. If he doesn't nip this now she'll continue to think its ok and its not. You are a married couple deserving of your own privacy. My MIL use to do that and when I asked H to talk to her he didn't so I ended up doing it. She stopped the pop ups and coming unannounced and life was back to normal. Your MIL needs to get a life and get involved in an activity. She has too much time on her hands.
Honestly, FDH needs to be the
Honestly, FDH needs to be the one to pull his mom aside and tell her that he does not appreciate her unnanounced visits and going through things that are not hers. If she does it again, she will find the door locked. She will also find that every time she shows up, you and your DH will be grabbing kids, leaving and locking the house because you are "on the way out"... should have called first.
Or you can approach with humor as in.. "Hey MIL, i'm the only one allowed to do illegal search and siezures in this house..haha". Honestly, sounds like she needs to be monitored while in the home. Maybe invite her in and sit her down with tea or a drink and monopolize her.... when she gets up.. ask her to come back.
Ive actually started doing
Ive actually started doing the oh we are on our way out sorry thing. I had just gotten in from work the other day and she showed up and since I already had my shoes on I was like oh hey I'm headed to work..... It was the only way I could keep her out of my house. Then I told FDH I had lied to his mom because I didnt want to deal with her roaming around my house for the next hour or more because you cant get rid of her once she is in.