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Confirmed: OSS (will be 19 in Two Weeks) Moved Back to the Mothership!!

thinkthrice's picture

Lasted one year exactly. Pumpkinhead is now back in the Gir's neck of the woods. Seems he didn't make it as a rock star in the "Big City" which is 45 minutes away. He's either living with the Gir herself OR with Battleaxe Gallactica (Gir's enmeshed BM)

Enrolled in community college for exactly three months. Got the Pell, TAP and student loans then ditched. Now works part time in a seasonal gaming store.

I can only imagine the stress on StepDaddyBigBucks knowing that Pumpkinhead is just another failure to launch spoiled, entitled COD who was told by the Gir 'n' clan that life is one big giant unicorn farting glitter.

Problem is that Pumpkinhead, despite looking like a 40 year old unattractive female, will be unable to ride that unicorn seeing he can not be a GUBM sucking off a man's wallet.

His excuse for coming back?

He misses Dominatrix (SD stb 17) and Prince Hygiene (YSS stb 13).

(clears throat in disbelief)

Which begs the question: will the Girhippo and Battleaxe Galactica be the next Food Network stars due to their (bacteria laden) soup business?


thinkthrice's picture

The jury is still out on that one. Not sure if the Girhippo wants to go through the legal expense because she will definitely have to wheel out her attorney again.

thinkthrice's picture

I just did a court records check online at the "big city" and nowhere does it show that Pumpkinhead has official emancipation papers.

Unfortunately in the Girhippo's county, no such records are available online.

thinkthrice's picture

I think what might happen (pardon the speculation) is that the Gir clan will enroll him in the community college HERE (which is in my county the next one over from the Gir's) then go back to the CO which says CS continues through college or until he turns 21 whichever comes LAST. It will probably take him four years to get through 2 years of college since he received a "low D" grade in HS and barely squeaked by.

Snowflake's picture

I would try to find proof if he is living with emeshed gubm. Just in case the gir does get a wild hair up her butt and take chef for more child support.

Man, it seems like the chef and gir really ended up well after divorcing. Chef unfortunately had you to subsidize his ex and kids for a long time all while being able live a better lifestyle then he was accustomed to with gir.

And the gir got over half his paycheck and ended up marrying step daddy big bucks who puts up with her dysfunctional clan and band of misfit inlaws.

Snowflake's picture


Is this a case where she is crazy but really hot. Or is she just really crazy good in bed that he would put up with all of that. Because that is just nuts.

thinkthrice's picture

Ha Ha! The Gir is just the opposite. A prudish, virginal sainted "church lady" character who believes it takes several wallets to unlock the chastity belt she wears around her amazonian sized golden hoo hoo. She only puts out to conceive, give such conception "adult spousal status" and then go for CS.