Hmm... this is for MM. I already wrote to BM now heres one for the future SF of my SD.
Dear future SF of my SD,
I wish I could warn you what you are in for, but there is no way I could. However here are a few things you can look forward to.
All the extra stuff you are doing around the house is going to become expected and nessacary if you like to keep a clean home. And since I know you, I know you do.
The laundry you are doing for two right now, can be multiplied by two. Yea I know SD is only three and her clothes are small, however have you ever tried to potty train a kid? You have no idea what a pain laundry can be.
Oh and speaking of laundry, just wait untill you have to clean poop from a three year old, off of them and out of their clothes.
You probably think that the extra money for CS is going to be a big help... HAHAHA We are getting a deal on this. $380 a month? What is that supposed to be? Food? Thats about all it would cover.
Oh and I know you like to cook... well you might as well give up. This kid will only eat macaroni, speghetti and/or hotdogs.
Thats ok though right? Because you guys are in love! I really hope so. There is no way I would still be around if I did not love my DH with every part of me. So I pray for both of you that this 5 month relationship has prepared you.
And just wait untill SD stops being the angel she is when you see her in our town. Wait untill she is screaming and throwing everything she can reach because you changed the channel on TV, or didn't want to give her pop at bedtime.
Wait untill you have to stand and watch BM doing something you totally disagree with because you have no "right" to make decisions regarding her daughter.
Then there will be the days when you come home from work and just want some "you" or "couple" time. Thats long gone now, my friend. The only thing that matters is that little girl. She needs attention and she will have it. So I hope you weren't really a fan of relaxing before 8pm or after 7am anyways.
You have no idea what you are getting into.
However, if BM has grown up and can step up, you are in for a treat. My SD is the smartest three year old I know. She will watch you once or twice and be able to do what you just did. She helps as much as you let her with anything. She told me recently her favorite job is to clean up. But remember you have to ask her to. She will tell you multiple times, everyday, how much she loves you (if she does) and there is something so specail about that. She has been the best part of my life in the last year, its going to be terrible when she leaves this week. Knowing that shes not going to be back for a long time.
Just promise me one thing, remember that none of this is her fault. Through all the stress and fights that she will be the root of, remember she did not ask for this. She would have been just as happy, if not happier, to stay with me and DH.
Remember that...
Thetis
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Thetis, I honestly can't
Thetis, I honestly can't imagine raising a child, knowing all of her little quirks down to how she likes to be tucked into bed at night, and then lose all of that in a split second. My heart goes out to you, and she is a very lucky little girl to have you in her life who loved her as if she were your own. This was a good letter and I hope, even if it was just for the moment, helped you.
I don't know if you posted in your prior blogs, but will you and DH have visitation and if so, how often?
((Hugs)) to you, I know this is a difficult time for you.
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“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”
Sorry I can't figure out
Sorry I can't figure out this letter.
Who is this for?
MM? and future step Father? (What is MM?)
So you are still in the life of a child from a previous relationship?
I to am raising a step child from a previous relationship. He is 17 now. His BM and BF only see him every other weekend.
I think I hear your concerns.
I tried to read your Bio but it was so brief,
Could you explain more of this?
MM is middle mom, shes a
MM is middle mom, shes a great blogger and this is a spin off of her challange.
It is supposed to be a letter to the man who is going to be the step father of my SD, who we just lost in a custody battle. We have her until sunday then shes gone untill Christmas as far as we know.
Who is this for? --------->
Who is this for?
---------> Her stepdaughter lived with her and her DH. Now SD is going to live with BM and BM's boyfriend. The letter is for the boyfriend of the BM.
MM? and future step Father? (What is MM?)
-----------> Me silly
___________________________________________________________________________
“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”
Oh man! Ya can't address a
Oh man!
Ya can't address a post to someone with abbreviations...
I thought it was another person involved in the situation.
MM "My mom"?
MM "My Man"
I wuz all confused. :?
LOL
Ok, anyways.
I had a simular deal when my SS17 dad got out of prison.
He wanted to see his son, and I asked to speak to him 1st.
He was fine with it.
I told him as strange as this sounds. You gatta understand something.
In my eyes I am handing my son to some guy who just got out of prison.
I raised him as my own. If you just want to be his friend lets be up front now. If you want to be apart of his life again? He deserves a great Dad. If you can't be that guy please don't mess him up. Don't abandon him like you did before.
Well I have already had this
Well I have already had this kinda convo with the BM, I begged her to not mess up this time. But we'll see. I like her a whole lot more when we are not planning a court case, but I'm still terrified about what this is going to do to my SD. She really is my world and now I have to change everything. God I'm going to miss her.
Well I hope you don't
Well I hope you don't completely loose her.
My heart literally aches for
My heart literally aches for you Thetis. I pray that you guys will be able to continue contact with SD so that you can continue to show her how much you love and care for her. You will continuously be in my thoughts. ((HUGS))
___________________________________________________________________________
“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”
I had the same thing happen.
I had the same thing happen. My SD was almost 3 when BM wanted her back after sending her to live with us because she couldn't handle being a mommy. Men in and out, in and out, you name it and it was done by BM. They we had to give SD back because she is the BM. What kind of mess is that??? I hated to give her back and even almost 2 years later I still wait for the day that SD comes back to live with us. She constantly asks why she can't come stay and that is a hard question to answer! I promise you that. Your SD knows you love her and knows where the stability lies. My SD was stressed out after the transition. Screamed and cried during visitation drop off, her hair thinned from stress, SD was so upset with us that the first weekend we picked her up for visitation she wouldn't talk to us and when she got out of the car she kicked my DH. She was upset. I am not telling you this to make things worse, there will just be issues that you will deal with. More than likely some acting out. But children don't understand when they are removed from their comfort zone. I pray your SD does fine and that if there are any issues that arise that the BM is smart enough to do what is right for the child. In my case my BM isn't and does things for herself and her own feelings.
My heart goes out to you. Make sure to call SD every evening before bed or every other evening to reassure her you are still there.