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Omg!!! Glad DH didn’t do this event after all!

Biostep7777's picture

Ok so I posted the other day about SS asking DH if he could go to an event to cook burgers. The way SS made it sound was that it was a party or something and someone needed help cooking and cleaning up ect... 

No. Come to find out.....omg....HCBM bought him a portable grill and SS went and bought the supplies and meat and he is SELLING hamburgers and hotdogs. This is so illegal. It's like.....SOOOO illegal. He has no permit, no license. He's a minor!  Nothing. You can't sell food to the public without a permit from the health department. We are just like "omg what do we do with this information!???" This is so messed up. 

ndc's picture

Was this a one time event? Was it a fundraiser for one of his activities?  Or is this SS's new business?

lieutenant_dad's picture

This is actually a really good question. If it's for a fundraiser, a permit may not be required.

OP, while this is technically illegal, it's not a felony-level offense. The health department will make him close up shop and maybe fine him. Being a minor, he'll likely not get a fine. Just told he needs to stop until he can obtain a permit.

If you feel the need to do something, call the health department.

Biostep7777's picture

A new business for profit. No, she bought him a grill and he will be selling hamburgers and hotdogs at the swim meets at the neighborhood pool. He did say he's donating some money but keeping some and it was not a fundraiser and even if it was he needed a permit. 

notarelative's picture

Here at swim meets the parent group is the one that sells things. He may get shut down by either the parent group or whoever runs the pool.

Biostep7777's picture

Well the coach said he could do it but our concern is what if someone gets sick? He's serving meat to a LOT of people without any permit, license, insurance....nothing!!! She's also signing him up during swim meets that fall on DH's time and he's like "yeah, I want nothing to do with this!" So he's thinking of just getting on record that he is not comfortable with this activity at all. We thought it was just a little thing party to help flip burgers. We didn't realize he's literally starting a business doing this and charging people! He made several hundred dollars and he is donating some of it but not all of it. This is just crazy. People go through a lot to get a legitimate permit to handle food but BM is such a narcissist she doesn't think the rules apply to her. 

Winterglow's picture

Your DH doesn't need to get this on record. He just needs to say a big fat "NO", not on his time. It is absolutely not reasonable to expect the other parent to back something like this when there is no permit and no insurance. Why should he expose himself to litigation over something he wants nothing to do with.

CastleJJ's picture

Our BM did something similar with the bait and switch, but on a much grander scale. In 2019, we made plans to take a family vacation to Disney for Christmas. It was going to be my parents, my brother, his GF, DH, SS, and I. We notified BM in April 2019 via email, so 8 months in advance. We provided the itinerary and let her know that we needed to pick SS9 up at 8 a.m. BM agreed via email.  We rented a two bedroom condo, booked park tickets, and paid for the meal plan in advance totaling $8,000 for the week. 

Due to increased verbal/emotional abuse toward DH and PAS, we took BM to court in August 2019 for more parenting time and joint legal custody, finally having enough of her abuse and games. Well, this made BM mad. So come Thanksgiving 2019, BM decided that she wanted to interfere with our trip. She emailed DH letting him know that the 8 a.m. pick up time no longer worked and that DH would need to pick SS up at noon. The reason: SS was invited to a Christmas party with friends on the day of pick up at 10 a.m. and BM already promised SS he could go... DH argued with her, since she was well aware that it was a pick up day for a major trip. BM played the "Why would you take this away from SS, this is so important to him, he is so excited to go... blah blah blah." Well our week long trip to Disney is pretty damn important. 

We took BM to court the first week of December to prevent BM from further changing plans and to protect our trip. BM's attorney drafted a court order, giving BM exactly what she wanted with the noon pick up. DH refused to agree to it. Our attorney drafted an order offering a later pick-up time, but earlier than noon, BM agreed to it via email, but reneged and refused to sign the CO to finalize the agreement. Finally, we ended up before a judge. We wanted the judge to order the original 8:00 a.m. pick up time BM agreed to 8 months prior, especially since she was playing games. After two court hearings in the 2 weeks leading up to our trip and $3k in court fees, the judge met BM and DH in the middle and ordered BM to take SS to the party until 11 a.m. and DH could pick SS up from the party at 11 a.m. The judge ordered that BM had to provide SS to DH by 11:15 a.m. at the latest. The judge ordered that BM must provide DH will the party address for pick up. 

4 days before pick up day, BM emails DH the party address. It was BM's GF's office. DH confirmed that BM sent the right address. Yup it was the right address. It was not a kid's party. It was literally BM's GF's work party. BM kept SS in the office until 11:15 a.m. on the dot. She walked SS out with the biggest smirk on her face. According to SS, there were no kids nor any kid friendly festivities. SS just sat there waiting for DH to pick him up. But BM got what she wanted by lying and manipulating the details of this "party," ultimately delaying our departure for our trip. I was pissed. 

Trust me, I get it. 

Biostep7777's picture

Wow. This sounds so much like our horrible BM. It's always "why would you take this away from them?" So annoying! 

Winterglow's picture

So he can't be left home alone but he can cook on an open bbq by himself? Hope he's insured for any accidents tht may occur ...

Biostep7777's picture

No BM was with him. No they have no permit, no insurance, no nothing. It was a dumb move. 
oh yeah, he can't be left alone. Lol!! She leaves them alone all the time and goes to work. She's what you call a hypocrite. Ha!! 

Biostep7777's picture

That's what DH said. He was like "are you going to swim then go make burgers soaking wet?" This whole thing doesn't even sound right. She is a whack job. He should not be doing this. I think SS just says he wants to do something and she says yes to whatever he wants. DH is like "this is insane. This is completely inappropriate" then he always seems like the bad guy for questioning them and not agreeing with their actions. I mean, she has done some stupid things but this takes the cake. 

Winterglow's picture

I'd be tempted to give the local food hygiene services an anonymous tipoff... After all, dozens of people saw him, it could be anyone who called in.

Biostep7777's picture


Harry's picture

He need board of health permits, food handler class. Sale tax number. DH is going to be on the hook for the fines and court appearance because SS is a minor.  This is not a lemonade stand on the street.  He needs insurance, if someone gets sick. 

Biostep7777's picture

Exactly! This is his concern. He is not okay with this at all. How can he stop her from doing it on her time though? He can't!! The problem with the swim meet is it STARTS on her time but goes into his time. What's he going to do? Show up at a swim meet and make a scene? This whole thing is completely ridiculous! 

Winterglow's picture

Then put a stop to it now. He tells them that everything has to be cleared away by the time he gets there

He also calls the appropriate authorities tomorrow morning and give them a tip off. He might as well call the IRS too. His ex is using this situation to gain undeclared money. If what they are doing is illegal, he needs to call ALL of the authorities concerned. 

Harry's picture

Just make sure he doesn't deal with the grill the meat ect. Just leave it all there just taking SS

BethAnne's picture

If I were your husband I would email the swim meet organizer and BM detailing my concerns with this plan and my lack of consent for SS to be doing this. I would also ask that if they plan on carrying this out that they provide you with copies of all relevant permits, lisences and insurance details. 

Biostep7777's picture

Yeah she simply does not have good morals. She signs them up for various sports and when DH says they shouldn't be doing that because they overlap and they can't commit to a team, she says "they can just choose which team they want to play on that day" essentially leaving the other team out a player. DH is VERY big on team loyalty and commitment as he was an athlete through college and took his commitment seriously. BM is teaching them the opposite. 
Then she allows SS to buy a grill and do this without taking the proper steps to get a permit ect. Again, rules don't apply to them. 
SS is going to sleepaway camp today and he has a little head cold. (He's Covid negative and much better today) but SS said he wanted to take some mucinex and DH said "ok we will check in the medication when we get there" (camp rules) SS said "oh it's okay. I'll just leave it in my bag. Otherwise I will have to go and check in to get it" DH was mortified! He was like "ummm sorry to inconvenience you but you WILL follow the rules that the camp put in place for everyone's safety" 

She is raising these kids to have no morals, no values, no loyalty. It's just a me, mentality. It's disgusting!