Something I have noticed?
As long as BM is happy and getting her way she leaves my DH alone. It's funny she hasn't bugged or contacted DH about anything harassing him. The only time she contacts DH is when she isn't happy or something is going on bad in her life. Don't get me wrong it's been nice not to have BM harassing my DH. Am I imagining things or does anyone else notice their DH's ex doing the same thing?
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DH and I were just talking
DH and I were just talking about this last night when we received an appropriate text concerning pick up now that it's summer break, from BM. She has a new man in her life and it seems pretty serious (as serious as can be after a month), she is totally playing MOTY. For the past year she had to work so much that she couldn't attend any of SS11 soccer games, parent/teacher conferences, choir concerts, etc. Now she and the new BF are attending everything, end of the year school picnic, and even new BF kids graduation!! They seem to be one big happy family, lol.
I hope this lasts because she has been leaving us alone!
Yeah as long as BM over here
Yeah as long as BM over here can control her DH she is happy and leaves my DH alone.
Yes. We could always predict
Yes. We could always predict BM’s happiness/unhappiness by her absence/presence. It was quite comical.
I just think some of their
I just think some of their patterns are predictable.
I don't think it really
I don't think it really mattered with BM, over here. No matter how happy she claimed to be, she was just a miserable person. And mad that when she wanted DH to go back to her, he dared to defy! Luckily, it no longer matters to us, as we have nothing to do with her.
DH always prayed for her happiness, just in case it made a difference!
I am an over analyzer and pay
I am an over analyzer and pay attention to everything. I know that I shouldn't care what BM does but after everything she has done to DH. I am leery and try to be two steps ahead as DH was not which is why he kept on getting screwed over.
Yep BM2 does this too.
Yep BM2 does this too. Narcissists hate not being the center of attention. She's so jealous and pee'd off that her biggest supply of attention and punching bag actually moved on with someone else. It is inconceivable in her twisted little brain. Although she's cooled off a lot since the Big Tell Off A La DH 2017.
Can a HCBM or narcissist get
Can a HCBM or narcissist get better or change?
Only if they want to, just
Only if they want to, just like anyone else suffering from mental health issues.
They don’t think there is
They don’t think there is anything wrong with them. To them there is nothing to change.
Very typical when my DH's EX
Very typical when my DH's EX was happy with her BF...no worries.. she loses a job, a BF or has some money crisis and we were in the cross hairs.
BM does this, too, but it is
BM does this, too, but it is generally more passive now. Like, if we don't hear from her and she doesn't tell DH things, it usually means she has her act together. However, when she needs money or wants attention, she acts saccharine sweet and calls/texts about something kid-related or she twists something in her life to make it kid-related. MIL does much the same, but BM is far better at it.
It's best to just ignore, ignore, ignore.
I had to Chuckle
on this one. . ..Chef ALWAYS said "Girhippo never bothers us so don't worry about it." "She's not one of THOSE women who keep taking me back to court." My response was
"Why SHOULD she bother you;/take you back to court? You've overpaid her for years and she's got the maximum CS and more--basically EVERYTHING--you were left with NOTHING--what COULD she take you back to court FOR?" IOW there's nothing left to take him to court for so that's why she never contacts us or goes to court. Everything went to HER plan. All 3 skids are completely brainwashed and beer bonged the PAS koolaid. What more could she GET??
YEP!
YEP!
I'll never forget when BM was telling DH that she had to show proof of CS income to get her apartment how the leasing agent gave DH grief for paying such a "low amount" of CS on paper. BM responded with "not everyone has to go court for every little thing".
Of course You don't have to when you get practically everything you want! Minimal visitation, maximum CS, an XH who actually cares about his kids and makes sure they are provided for, etc. The only thing she doesn't have is sole custody, but she acts like she has it anyway, so...
We know when BM is in a
We know when BM is in a relationship and when it’s about to end, it’s very predictable and obvious. We know when she’s doing well financially (well the whole world knows when that happens because BM makes sure everyone knows how smart and talented she is.) We know when she’s stressed about money.
For us, she doesn’t always come at us, because the skids are adults she goes after them. They are her emotional support system and she uses them to alleviate her pain and anxiety. All it does is upset and put pressure on the skids. They then lean on us for emotional support and so goes the cycle.